Why do I feel like this?😓: Hi Ladies... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK
23,958 members36,019 posts

Why do I feel like this?😓


Hi Ladies, this isnt related to fertility directly but just needed to let it out really. I got really emotional and upset today when I saw that all my cousins and their babies/kids had been invited to a 5th birthday (my cousins daughter) and my husband and I were excluded because we dont have any kids yet. It makes me really sad that in society, you are often excluded from things because you dont have any kids. What made me even more upset was that whilst everyone was enjoying the party with their kids, I was travelling to my clinic to discuss my 2nd ivf cycle after sadly misscarrying 3 months ago. I called my husband and he said he didnt know what to say and thats how people are. I really hate what some of us have to go through, noone understand what its like to struggle with infertility /ivf unless they have gone through it themselves.

Sorry for posting this. Maybe I am just over reacting or maybe this is normal?


14 Replies

Sending you a massive hug hun. So sorry. It's really sad that ppl have to exclude other family members just because they don't have children. If it makes you feel any better I get excluded from everything in my family even though I have a child. Your reaction is perfectly normal as a birthday of a family member is a celebration for everyone. It's so hurtful I don't get why ppl don't think a lot of the time.

I'm also sorry for your loss hun it's truly heartbreaking iv been there a few times. Sending you big hugs and lots of love


Thanks hun. I think some people have just become quite cruel and selfish these days, as sad as it is, relatives can be the worst sometimes! Well they are in my case. Hope you are well. Xx

I agree hun. Don't know there must be something in the water. Mine are the same with the exception of a couple. It hurts but we get through it their not worth our energy hun, that's the way I see it. 😘💝

You are right. Its what my Husband always tells me, not worth our energy, but I guess I am just sensitive. The difference is, if I ever fortunate to be a mum, I would invite all, not exclude those without kids. 😘

Just shows your a much better person hun, it's nice to be invited with the choice to go or not. Naturally your sensitive I am too lovely, what keeps me going is reminding myself their not worth my energy. Keep that thought on board hun


Can totally relate to your post , sometimes people just don’t think & it really hurts , sending you much love 😘 xxx

I completely agree with your post, unless someone has actually had fertility problems they do not understand how it feels. It’s hurtful to say and act in this way, especially as you have had a miscarriage. Let it past you and try not to concentrate on this matter, look forward to your next ivf cycle, wishing you all the luck xxx

I completely understand. All the ladies in work went to Alton Towers a few weeks ago with their kids and I didn’t get an invite and was a bit upset. I don’t think you’re overreacting lovely xx

Aw, it’s just bloody crap isn’t it.

What’s worse is that if you mention not being invited to the party, your cousin will probably say that they didn’t think you would want to come as you don’t have children.

I hope that your appointment at the clinic went well.

Sending hugs and reassurance that almost all of us on here have felt the same way at some point xx

My brothers and sisters have 6 kids between them, my wife's brothers and sisters have 4, that's not counting all the cousins and friends and work friends.

Its really hard, because my sister always invites us to her kids birthday bashes, and its awful, parents hang out and ask which one is ours, and have to explain none of them, I'm the uncle of birthday boy/girl. We come home feeling really low.

But on the other hand, my brother tends not to invite us, thinking he's sparing us, and then I'll see pictures of the parties online or my mum talking about how great the kids party was.

You can't really win with IVF. I do feel for you, just focus on your journey, unless someone is going through it, we don't even expect them to understand.Best of luck


You’re definitely not overreacting! I’m sorry you were excluded, it’s proper crap 😞 I agree with you about society pressures & people not understanding at all “oh just have ivf “. 🙄 ... it’s so tough! Sending you love 💖 xX

You're not overreacting lovely sometimes people just don't think. I can relate to your situation as we've been excluded from my nephews birthday celebrations before and it was really hard. Especially when we try to be the best Auntie and Uncle we can be as we don't have our own children yet.

I hope your appointment went well though 😘 x x x

I get it. I barely have friends now as was excluded time and time again over the years. Always feel so isolated, lonely and sad.

Take today and yesterday for example - husband works shifts so left at lunchtime and still not home now (10.30pm) and haven’t seen or spoken to anyone in that time for two days. It’s as if I’ve been eradicated from the busy and perfect lives

You may also like...