Wedding anniversary

[Rainbow_86]

So in a weeks time marks mine and my wonderful husbands 2nd wedding anniversary. It marks exactly 2 years since we started TTC. I remember the excitement of the first month after, and how after 24 cycles of anticipation and heart break, I am left feeling broken and altogether low. I know some of the ladies journeys on here have been alot harder than mine by far....and alot longer......I honestly don't know how you all do it. I just feel so aware of how long we have been trying, and so sad our perfect wedding day will be the marker of how many years of disappointment we have had since I'm sorry to be so negative.

Hope you are all keeping strong (stronger than me anyway!) Big hugs to everyone struggling xxxxx

[romaluna2015]

Kind of feeling the same way as you are right now. If ever you need a chat my inbox is open xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to romaluna2015]

Thank you so much... it's so hard thing to go through isn't it. The same goes to you if you ever need a chat.... big hugs xxxx

[romaluna2015 in reply to Rainbow_86]

It is both mentally and emotionally draining to go through . Thank you xx

[Hidden]

Sadly our wedding anniversary is also our marker for how long we have been trying aswell xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear it's the same for you too button xxxx

[Hidden]

I can totally relate with how you're feeling. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is at the end of the month and it's a horrible reminder. I came off the pill 8 months before the wedding but we weren't trying as such and decided that our wedding night would be the night I got pregnant (sounds ridiculous now but we totally believed it!) I was convinced I would come back off honeymoon and get a positive test straight away. Oh how wrong was I?! My husband always says that one day, no matter how we have to go about it (ivf, adoption etc) we'll finally get our baby and we'll have a brand new day to celebrate every year and think about with only happiness. I try so hard to think about this when ever I'm feeling negative. Some times it helps and sometimes it makes me even more impatient! Don't apologise for being negative, I'm sure I can speak for everone on here when I say we all feel like that at times. If you ever need to chat don't hesitate to drop me a message xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much! You are always welcome to contact me also if you ever need a chat.

I'm so sorry you have been going through this even longer. What scares me is the first year of trying again I had hope, this second year has been horrible, I don't know how I will be the third. It scares me a little. I'm hoping we can start treatment to soon but it's all the waiting in between its hard to feel like we are getting anywhere!

Your hubby sounds lovely and supportive....my hubby is great too.... and so positive. I'm abit of a negative nelly at the minute.

I wish you all best whatever stage your at.

Thanks for your kind reply xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Rainbow_86]

I've only just seen this, sorry. I've found that my husband is the more positive one too. I try my best to stay positive but it's hard when there's constant reminders everywhere you look. The waiting bit has definitely been the hardest for me and also seems to be the bit that people don't always understand. Apparently good things come to those who wait, so let's hope that's true 😀 xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Hidden]

They definately say good things come to those wait..... let's believe in that mantra....

I know what you mean... my husband often squeezes my hand as I stare at newborns in trolleys at super market, or the baby aisle. I don't even realise I'm doing it... but I just can't forget the pain...

If my hubby wasn't so positive I really don't know what I would do...

Thank you for reaching out to me xxx

[Pinky_123]

It will be our 6th wedding anniversary on Sunday, and 6 years since we started trying. We said the other day we are proud to still be together! I've ordered an illustration of me, OH and our dog (furry baby) as an anniversary present as it feels like we don't celebrate anniversaries anymore, and we need to start again. Hugs to you Rainbow_86 and I hope you and your husband manage to celebrate your special day xxx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Pinky_123]

Bless you i can't begin to imagine how you've coped at 6 years... it makes me feel bad complaining of struggling even at the 2 year point....I love my hubby to bits and we will still celebrate. He has been so great. Just wish we didn't have this cloud lurking over us... wish I know many people can relate to...

That sounds like a lovely wedding anniversary present! What a lovely thought i hope you too have a lovely anniversary on Sunday. Fertility issues affect so many aspects of our lives...we must take the control back and not let it have our anniversaries too....

Hope you and hubby enjoy your special day. Lots of hugs xxxxxx

[Pinky_123 in reply to Rainbow_86]

I feel like we have come such a long way in the last 6 years, we still don't have our baby but once we do it will just be such a massive achievement for us!

Don't feel bad, if anything I have learned to cope with things better at the six year mark, I remember when I was at 2 years we had just done our first cycle of IVF which had failed and the pain was too much to bear - I won't say it gets easier as it doesn't, but for me i have developed different ways to cope.

Xxx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Pinky_123]

Bless you. You are so strong to have coped with this for so long... I really admire your strength . We first went to GP last July. Still haven't been able to start treatment and I'm finding the waiting so hard as feel like we're not moving forward at all. Have an appointment next month so hoping we can finally move forward with this. All the best to you in your journey xxxx

[Daxi16]

It will happen for you just believe and keep the faith and I promise it will xxx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Daxi16]

Aww love the positivity. Thanks so much daxi xxxxx

[WeeMrsH]

Oh darling. I know how this feels. We are 5 years married this Friday although started trying a few months before we got married. I too thought I'd come back from honeymoon pregnant!! Oh the naivety!!! You'll get there honey - one way or another xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to WeeMrsH]

Aww 5 years gosh WeeMrsH... what a journey you have been on... I'm sorry it's been such a long struggle for you. I bet you and hubby are super close as a result.... but this is just the cruellest thing to put a couple through you will get there too. I have every faith! Looking forward to hearing ur postive news! xxxx

[WeeMrsH in reply to Rainbow_86]

It's not looking good- negative HPT this morning. Waiting for official call from clinic later this afternoon. Thanks for your kind words xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to WeeMrsH]

I'm so sorry. I've been following your posts.... I really have everything crossed that his will turn around to be a positive outcome for you. Bug hugs xxx

[WeeMrsH in reply to Rainbow_86]

Thanks honey! It's our wedding anniversary today too 💗😍

[Rainbow_86 in reply to WeeMrsH]

Aww happy anniversary to you both!! An amazing couple to get through all this!! Love to you both xx

[WeeMrsH in reply to Rainbow_86]

Thank you my darling x

[Hope_4_2017x]

We are the same also.. started trying a couple of months before our September 2013 wedding, nearly 4 years for us sending hugs xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Hope_4_2017x]

Aww hope.... so sorry it's been 4 years. It's like life is on hold isn't it..... you will get there.... I hate that anyone has to go through this it just doesn't seem fair but when it doesn't happen it will be all the more sweeter for you, even if it doesnt feel that way now. Take care x

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Rainbow_86]

Sorry my phone changed that... when it does happen ....Lots of love x

[Hope_4_2017x in reply to Rainbow_86]

Thanks, lots of love back 😊xx

[E_05]

I can totally relate to this as well, ours also marks how long we've been trying & on our 4th anniversary we went for our 3rd IVF cycle we were so positive that it was a 'sign' but sadly it ended it more heartache and was an unsuccessful cycle.

Some days are harder than others to not merge the 2 together but I always try to find comfort that although our wedding day marks the start of this awful journey we're all on, I wouldn't have anyone else by my side than my husband, he's my absolute rock.

Keep strong, we're all here if you need to talk xx

[Rainbow_86]

Thanks so much for your reply, I'm so sorry about ur 3rd failed cycle..... it's such a cruel journey, I can't imagine what uve been through. I wish you the best with the rest of your journey whatever route you are taking.

That is totally true what you say about thinking about the positives. I also feel blessed to have my hubby who always manages to stay so positive and my rock. It is very true. I know I should not associate the two and im grateful that I married my soulmate.... alot of people in life don't get that... so I know I should not let this take away from our wedding anniversary. I really wish you a positive outcome..... and am always here if you need a chat....

Big hugs Xxx

[E_05 in reply to Rainbow_86]

It definitely is cruel and so unfair. I thought I'd come back from honeymoon either pregnant or soon to be..how wrong was I!

Don't get me wrong there are days when I struggle to separate the 2 and when I look back and think how much we've been through since married it shocks me but also gives me comfort that we are strong enough to survive anything and it sounds like you and your husband are the same! Thank you, wishing you lots of luck for your journey xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to E_05]

Yes... the only positive to come out of this cruel crappy journey is that I have fallen even more in love with my husband if that is possible. He has carried me through this and has been so patient and kind.. I feel so blessed to have him. Don't know what I would have done if he wasn't this supportive. All the best to you and your husband. I wish you the happy ending you both deserve xxx

[Cinderella5]

It will also be our 2nd wedding anniversary next week too and like you is a reminder of how long we've been on this journey though we did I guess get a bit lax before genuinely trying! Rubbish that its a reminder really but you're not alone! Im planning on having a nice treat with a hubby to overindulge in a nice restaurant or hotel away, unfortunately alcohol is off the menu as we have started treatment again.xx

[Rainbow_86]

Aww bless you. Sorry to hear that you are in the same boat it's so hard isn't it. That sounds like a lovely idea of a lovely treat with hubby!! My husband is working our anniversary unfortunately.... but we did go back to the place we got married the other day and reminisced! Tried to stay away from topic of IVF and just remember our special day. It really was an amazing day. And I feel so lucky to have my hubby. He has been my rock. Just feel I have let him down as it has affected my mood so much and he always manages to stay positive ....

Happy anniversary to you and your hubby too. Good luck with your journey. We had alcoho free strawberry and lime koppabergs the other day. Yummy!

Xx

[Oakey80]

Hiya,

I know exactly how you feel. Soon to be 5yrs ttc with 1 failed cycle under our belt. Unfortunately for us we're not finding it so easy to navigate as a married couple.. I wish I could say he's my rock but he's struggling more than me. We're here due to male factor infertility. Before and throughout our 1st cycle my dh was great as he thought it would "just work" Now he's seen the pain I went through with the treatment only to come out with nothing and he's felt the pain of a failed cycle and he's a changed man. We're not allowed to talk about it anymore as it makes him feel bad....and he just thinks I should "get on with it"...not a fun time as I face into my next cycle starting down regging tomorrow (glad it's only a fet though!)

Xxx

[emu2016 in reply to Oakey80]

Big love xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to emu2016]

Thanks emu xx

[Rainbow_86 in reply to Oakey80]

Hi Oakey, so sorry for the delay.. i have been working night shifts and dead to the world for the past couple of days!

I'm so sorry to hear it's been 5 years for you. I just can't imagine that time..... I get terrified to think how worse I will feel as each year passes. You are both incredibly strong to get through what you have, never forget that......

It's such a hard process to go through as a couple... we are also here through male factor issues.... and my husband has expressed his guilt when he believes he is to blame for this... of course it is no one's fault and I don't for a second blame him one bit.... it breaks my heart all over again thinking he is blaming himself... and I'm guessing ur hubby feels that way too. A frustration and sadness that he can't give you what you both desperately want. It's an incredibly difficult thing to get through...

5 years is such a long time.... I'm so sorry he has struggled to cope with it all. When you get your positive news it will all be worth it... and although it doesn't seem like it now.. the end result will make up for these years...... I hope you are ok and I wish you all the success in the world for this cycle xxxxxxx