I'm new to the forum and looking for support from others suffering with infertility

Hello all,

My story is that I have been with my husband for 12 years and got married 2 years ago in June 2014. We started trying for a baby straight away. I fell pregnant in August 2014, we were so so happy. We went to a friends wedding mid-September and I started bleeding and left the wedding to go straight to A&E. They tried doing scans but said that I needed to have an internal scan on Monday. That weekend was so long, not knowing what was going to happen.

That Monday, I went to have the scan and they told me and my husband that I was having an ectopic pregnancy. Within three hours of the scan, I was being wheeled down for surgery to have my tube removed.

It was the worse feeling ever, so I had the symptoms of being pregnant as it took weeks for my hormones to drop down and in a lot of physical and mental pain.

My husband and I go to our local cerm as they have the butterfly garden. Its were ectopic, miscarried and still born babies can be put the rest. Our little one is there too.

We have been trying every trick in the book, every old wife's tale and for some reason we haven't been able to fall since. Our doctor has now put us forward for the IVF, after going through all the usual test to back sure we are both in working order and we are. Where we lived we get one try with fresh and if you are unsuccessful and you have eggs frozen from the fresh batch one other try on NHS. I feel this still puts a lot of pressure on us to hope that it works.

Pretty much all our friends and family have fallen pregnant and we are so ready to bring a child into our lives but its just not happening.

I am scared and nervous about IVF and would appreciate any words of support, guidance and experiences that anyone has.

I will update this with my experiences as I go through this next part of our journey to bring a little bundle of joy into our lives.

Thank you for reading. :)

16 Replies

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  • I am sorry for everything you have been through and that you find yourself here. There's a lot of support here so do post any questions and it really helps to follow people at the same stage as you.

    Ivf is terrifying at first if you look at the whole process, but ultimately it breaks down into a lot of manageable steps to take one at a time. It's amazing how resilient we can be too and so will you be I am sure.

    Good luck xx

  • Thank you for your very quick reply.

    It's one of reasons I signed up on this forum so I can speak people who understand as unfortunately my friends don't as it has happened so easy for them.

  • I agree, this is a place where people genuinely understand. I've told a few friends and they are very kind, but there's just not the empathy. Too many 'just relax' and 'it'll be fine' comments! Well meant, but not helpful.

    I hope you find lots of support here x

  • Welcome.

    We had ICSI after 2 natural conceptions ended in miscarriage. I found round 1 very daunting as was very stressed by it all. Plus we had to self fund and it's so expensive. The clinic gave us a time line and this helped to break things up into stages and I ticked each stage off. I was very worried about the injections but they were much easier than I expected.

    Both of you need to try to maintain a healthy diet (no alcohol, caffeine, no smoking). My clinic said to drink 1 litre of semi skimmed milk per day during the treatment cycle.

    Have close friends and family you can talk too as well as using this forum.

    Good luck. I hope you have success.

  • Thank you Daisy14 and pm27 for your kind words. Xx

  • Hi suki, sorry to hear about what you've been through. Ectopics are horrible. I've had 2, and although my body rejected meaning I didn't need surgery, as a result of the damage to my tubes I ended up with fluid in both tubes which then effected further pregnancies I had, all ending in miscarriage. As a result i've now had both tubes removed in march, with ivf now being our only hope. First cycle last month which ended in a chemical pregnancy, and 1 frozen embryo which hopefully in the next few months we can have transferred. This site is brilliant, there are lots of supportive people on here who fully understand the huge emotional impact of trying for a baby. The butterfly garden is such a lovely idea, I didn't know these type of garden existed. Good luck with your journey ahead xxx

  • Thank you @baby2016 for your supporting words. I hope everything goes well with you also. Keep me updated. Xx

  • Iv got a son that luckily I fell pregnant naturally with endometriosis I had a problem free pregnancy but sadly my endo came back after my son was born and had lap to remove aheadions from pouch of Douglas and excised endo from my womb me and my husband have been trying for three years to have another baby and have to pay for ivf on nhs due to having one child it hard to try to come to terms when everyone else seems to be falling and u get people saying things that don't help situation but I'm hoping against all the odds that ur time will come and u get little family u deserve goodluck and all the best to u both xx

  • Nicolahunny, thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope u are successful with the IVF. Please let me know how u get on.

    Thank you for your kind words. Xx

  • I'm hoping that I am but also looking at maybe going abroad for ivf as seems quite alot of people are doing that yeah keep me posted and hope you get on ok with yours too xx

  • Hi Suki, I just wanted to say that all us Women on this site want the same thing so it's good you joined! I myself will be going through ivf and am just waiting for my first appointment which will be in September. Don't be scared about your appointment etc as you will become strong! I was so scared this time last year, but iv had internal scans/lap operation ( I have endromestosis) iv also had iui treatments which I had to inject myself lol. But wish u the best x

  • Hi NDE1987, thank u for your post. So we could be going IVF at the same time. It will be nice to have a buddy. Please keep in touch and let me know how u get on.


  • Yes we might be ivf buddies!! Do you know when you will have your first appointment? Good luck! X

  • Hi sukij82, I think I'm in a similar boat as you. I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 20- although suffered with it since I started my periods at 13. I'm 30 now and my partner is 37 and we've been trying to conceive for 3 years. I've had surgeries and all sorts of tests etc to remove endo and check for any other problems and we are due to start IVF soon. I fell pregnant at Christmas time but miss carried 8/9 weeks later and that's the only time we've ever managed to conceive. I've got my final lot of monthly blood tests on the 13th July and then we have our final appointment with our hospital the week after when we should then be transferred to the fertility clinic to start IVF. Are we in a similar time scale to you? It would be nice to have someone at a similar stage to talk with. None of my friends have issues like this and I haven't discussed it with my work as they're awful anyway! So I feel like it's my partner and I going alone at the minute! good luck with thugs you're end, keep us updated! xxxxxxx

  • Hi BibiPage, thanks for your post. I have two more test to do - day two blood test and swab but we have two wait until our two year anniversary of our lost before we can start IVF. We have done all other tests so our first consultation should be end of September. Would be nice to have IVF buddies. Please keep me posted on how your assets getting on. :-)

  • Hello! So sorry for your loss and not falling pregnant naturally since then. Ivf can and does work for many so I hope you can see it as a positive - it is assisted conception after all. I start my first ever round of ivf in just a couple of weeks. Both of my tubes are blocked following an infection after a cone biopsy to remove abnormal cells from my cervix. Ivf is my only hope. I've never been pregnant. Welcome to this amazing forum x

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