Body image, lap scars and fertility anxiety

[klh386]

Hi ladies,

Maybe it's because this is so petty that I've found no comfort anywhere.

I had a lap surgery for stage IV endo back in Feb and am thrilled that it will give me a new go at trying for a baby. The scars though, however small, have been a source of occasional tears since before I even had them. Maybe it's because I've always had body image issues and/or they're a reminder that my body hasn't been able to conceive naturally as it should.

Anyway, my husband told me he was ordering me a one-piece swimsuit right before I left this morning, and I'm still in a funk on my way to work after snapping at him.

Does anybody have advice? Should I be going to counselling or something, or is it the hormones I'm on!

[Leesalou]

I have 8 scars from my 3 laps, my first ones from are quite faded but my belly button ones are not nice, neither or my latest Ines there very dark in colour and noticeable, I've got one in between my knicker line and belly button that is like a little pocket it's weird to touch, I always cover them up, unless I'm catching some sun in my garden.

Have you tried bio oil? How old are your scars?

If your that worries have you tried covering them with a skin colour plaster so there less noticeable.

Xx

[klh386 in reply to Leesalou]

Have religiously been using bio oil twice a day. I think they're healing well, but still there. Annoying part is, I have one on EACH side juuuust above where my bikini covers. So no more swimming for me unless I'm completely alone

[Leesalou in reply to klh386]

Mine or all above my bikini line, my first Ines was done in 2009 and there there but really faint my second in 2012 again there there but starting to fade and my last I had Dec just gone are horrible. I was going to and still will get them tattooed over I've started on my side but couldn't go over the scars until there 5 years time, have you tried high waisted bikini bottoms theee all in fashion now, or how about a bit of concealer ? Xx

[klh386 in reply to Leesalou]

Tattoo - a cool and edgy solution! Not sure about a high waisted bikini, but I've seen some really effective concealer in action. Wonderful idea!

[Leesalou in reply to klh386]

I'm covered in tattoos, my escape from ttc and ivf, and they got a bit addictive, I've got 21 plus a full sleeve lol,

My sister using a concealer to high her tattoos as she's not allowed them on show, and it covers well x

[klh386 in reply to Leesalou]

Awesome, plus you have the needles thing down for sure! My squeamish little self will be thinking of you for strength when it's my turn with IVF

[Leesalou in reply to klh386]

The worst injection I've had is the rubella but that's more because it felt like someone had punched me,

On my first cycle I was squimish at first trying to inject my self but after counting 123 about 50 times I finally thought why you being such a dil lol,

I find getting inked so relaxing and de stresses me if I didn't snore I'd prob go to sleep in there lol xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Leesalou]

Try m and s for bikini bottoms that have a bit of extra fabric at the top for rolling up... I know it sounds weird but they come a bit higher without being "high waisted" and mine come above my scars.

Having said that, I've used bio oil religiously on mine for the past 7 months and the other day looking at my tummy my husband couldn't even tell that it was scars... I think we will always know they are there but actually they're not noticeable to anyone else.

[klh386 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Wow, that's great to hear they aren't noticeable anymore. Will keep it up with the Bio oil and check out M&S bottoms,thanks! xx

[romaluna2015]

I hate my laprascopy scars they ended up turning into keyloids . I have another large scar from when my appendix burst . But I'm used to that one now. However the keloids I can not see them without feeling horrible about it. This journey is such a long and stressful journey that scars bother us. Both emotionally , physically and mentally. Xx

[klh386 in reply to romaluna2015]

You're right - physically is only part of it. Much love to you. Hope you never need another lap! x

[romaluna2015 in reply to klh386]

Thank you . You too. Xx

[LiLi19]

I'm due for my lap in July and because I already have a huge, thick, wobbly 4 inch scar from my belly button to pubic bone from a previous Op, I've been told they'll likely have to go in under my rib cage or at two separate points either side of my pelvis :s

I'm not looking forward to more scarring but I LOVE my original scar...it's a reminder that I survived some thing awful!

Even if these new scars don't lead to the baby I want, It'll be a reminder that I tried and I survived...(hopefully...!)

Some ladies may get 'tiger stripes' from stretch marks in pregnancy but we've got Warrior Wounds...the hardest battles go to the strongest soldiers xx

[klh386 in reply to LiLi19]

What a great way to look at it. Hope I can be that positive about mine one day. You're an inspiration! x

[LiLi19 in reply to klh386]

I have no doubt you will! Thank you xx I've not been without my massive wobbles every now and then though, but I've been trying to see the good in everything that's happened lately - it's the only way I'll stay sane xx

[Hidden]

I can't relate to the scars but i can understand the frustration of not having a baby.maybe the hormomes are making it tougher.You are a beautiful brave person scars or not.focus on the positive side of this journey and that one day your body will carry a life .good luck with your journey .xx

[klh386 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Lawmom. Such sweet words. We definitely have to stay positive and believe the baby is coming!

[Jonesjp]

Hi hunny, everyone deals with scars in different ways, I hated my scars initially, at 36 I've got an appendix scar (quite a big one as I was 10 and they didn't do keyhole then) two massive 10inch scars down my bum/leg (double hip replacement at 33!) and scars on my tummy from injections after hips, oh and one on my knee (drunken incident 😂) I seem to add a new scar every few years!! You do learn to accept them and without some of them I wouldn't be here (appendix burst, very poorly) nor would I be able to walk, hips were completely trashed. Just waiting for my Lap appointment, so I know that's going to be more scars again, but my scars are a journey I've been on and there part of me. Hopefully over time they won't upset you so much, but if you can, you be proud of them. Bio oil really dies help but you have to use it every day and you can also get waterproof makeup called Vitchy with us a cream and fixing powder, I used this the first year on hold in my hip scars, but now I don't bother. Big hugs I hope you feel better soon x x x ❤️

[Jonesjp in reply to Jonesjp]

That should say hols not hold, bloody predictive text!

[klh386 in reply to Jonesjp]

Thanks love! Yes very glad for surgery and modern medicine. Feeling much more positive and grateful this morning after all the support from you lovely ladies!

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi klh386. Someone told me once, that along with stretch marks, they are the marks of life, you've earned the stripes, so be proud to wear them - they may even continue to fade over time. Otherwise there are some strong, waterproof concealers out there, maybe try those. Hope you soon feel better about it all. Diane

[klh386 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you Diane!