half a woman

Hi everyone. I am a new here and have never write for such forums but .. I think its time to open my soul. I can’t stand anymore, this feeling is killing me . My young indiscretions broke my life. I have been in serious relationships starting when I was 19 yrs old, his was 25. Love, happiness , walking on the air. But

that Wednesday I was carefree , my dream comes true. A little life inside me. He was at work , should come at 6. My speech was perfect, dinner wonderful. His words – you should have an abortion. The doctor said that he need to make an surgical abortion. Everything was going good but suddenly I felt prick and passed out from it. When I woke up the doctor was sitting near me. His bad face suggested bad news. He told me that while he was doing the operation he eventually perforated the wall of the uterus with the sharp curette. As the escape of blood was huge as well as the walls of uterus, the best and the right solution was to remove the uterus. He explained this by saying that he was working blindly and it happen by accident.

. Long recovering, mentally sick, and fatal diagnosis. You will never have a baby. never have a baby. Can you imagine that. me – no !!!! My Love broke my life because we were too young.

Now I am 34, have a good job, great house lovely husband but my heart and house are empty. Infertility is my fate. How I want to feel this emotion when your baby holds your hand, say “mummy”. One time I was thinking about adoption, once about surrogacy. My DH thinks that surrogacy would be better, some part of us will be in this child. I’m frustrated, don’t know what to do. It will be great if some people who met such problems give me advices. I really appreciate this.

11 Replies

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  • your story make me cry. I faced simila situation. The one difference that is I was a man in my previous life. I did a plastic surgery and now I'm a woman. Being a man, I had woman's mindset. I felt like I have to be a woman and bear the baby.

    I met one nice guy and he open the whole world for me. I'm extremely happy right now, the only problem is baby. We don't want to adopt any. Hope everything is going to be good. Wish you same

  • I'm a woman and want to have a baby too. Adoption? Probably it could work of us. I have read one article about adoption and that made me think about it. It said a number of children who are waiting for the parents, their feelings and emotional stress. I wish I could hold them all. thank you for support, dear

  • I dont agree with you . adoption seems to be more stressful and long process. you don't know all 'bout baby's parents. what if they are drug-users or had bad habits. maybe some genetical problems will appear with time.

    and legislation has lots of pitfall. what if a blood relative of a kid will come? what will you do? there are 80 per cents he or he wants to get a right to custody of a child?

    you should think about it carefully.

    wish you luck

  • Hi leaflower there is no words to describe how sorry I am. Best advise I can give is that let is all come out, all the feelings what ever you feel and I think in this case the time doesn't heal but hopefully the time help you to accept the situation. I would maybe try to talk as many different experts that possible to hear different opinion and angles of the situation, doctors and councellors etc. And we all are here to listen and support. Xx

  • My doc said, no ways of being mother. Thanks God my family support me because my has no sense, devastation is over me. I'm trying overcome it but no results.

    What do you think about adoption? Should we try or do surrogacy?

  • It’s always terribly hard. It always causes pain and brings more questions than answers. But you can overcome it.

    There are many couples with similar and with completely different problems inhere. But most of us can find adequate medical care now.

    A very sad telling. Now it seems to me that I had enough support and love all the time and that I’ve never felt lonely. But indeed I have been depressed. I urge you not to give up and seek. If we stoped our struggle we would not have the opportunity to admire our little daughter. Hold on! Be strong, honey.

    My fingers crossed

    xxx

  • thank you very much. I'm so tired of being strong.

    My family and friends are doing their best. They support me all the time but I feel like I want to die. My life has no sense and it's scaring.

    The last hope is a reproductive medicine. But it costs huge money. I'm not sure if we could afford such option. What if we try adoption? Maybe it would be better

  • Excuse me, honey. Perhaps I’ve missed this fact but where are you from? Or even better Where do you currently live? Because if we talk about the service availability you should browse the options in Eastern Europe. I hope it can be useful. They have affordable medicine service with mild prices. I know because I’ve chosen them.

  • I'm from France. As far as I know, only UK and Ukraine could work for us.

    First of all, I need to be sure in this clinic. Next option is price, of course, location. Because we don't want to waste a lot of money for fly tickets.

    no extra payments, no stress, want to have my treatment safe and without stress. haha, I'm demanding person.

  • Your requirements are absolutely normal. You need to feel safety around you to make such serious decisions. So you are right. I even don’t know who can suggest you the option with full collection for your wishes. I’m kidding really. There many centers which try to fulfill all your ideas and give you relevant comfort. It’s usually talks about money. I offer you to consider Ukrainian clinics. Don’t want to create a pressing on your mind. But you can find out something interesting there. As for me I have found.

  • It's a big stress to go abroad, I don't know how I will understand other people. I know not many there speak English. Probably we should to apply for some interpreter.

    And yes, Ukraine is not far from our country and could be a good option. At least we can save our money and drive there by car. But I don't know how it can be, doo we need some documents to travel there?

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