Hello I am Stella, I want to have kids but I can’t. I have kidney insufficiency and obviously to deliver a baby is pretty much a death penalty for me. I had to do one abortion before because of my condition, at the time I was young and on top of my health issues I had no time and no money to take care of another human being. I was afraid that it had influenced my ovaries or something, obviously I had to check it because I am opting for surrogacy but on my oe. I have attended the appt where fortunately the drs said that my ovaries are okay that abortion was performed nicely and I don’t have to worry. That was a relief. But now I start to think about where to even begin.
I am not from Great Britain, I hope that it is okay to write here, because I think that there are lots of people who live in England and maybe I won’t get any advice at all. But unfortunately I haven’t been able to find the answers on other forums I have been to so.. maybe here I will find my help?
I do not have a lot of money, my dh works hard but we can’t call ourselves rich or smth. We have enough of money to afford raising a child and to afford summer vacations but I can’t spend 100000 dollars on surrogacy in US. It’s too expensive, though really reliable and everything. I wonder if anywhere in the world I could find the clinic or the center with much lower prices but with great reviews and comments. Because I know that I can trust Americans clinics but I can’t afford them..
I’ll be thankful for your help!
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clovveran
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Hello-hello! Stella, nice to meet you! I think that this forum is open for everybody and we all can get the recommendations here, so.. do not worry, hun. Also, I can understand your concerns about money and affordable clinics, I am 50 years old right now, at the time when I was looking for clinic where I can get a tx I was 45. I had really law chances to get a kid with my oe. I was stupid all my life because I thought that family could wait and even when my hubby started talking about how great it would be to have kids I said that it’s not a perfect time yet and he was okay with waiting apparently. He had his work, I had mine, I was to engaged in my company’s stuff that I totally forgot that with every year woman loses a certain amount of chances to get pregnant naturally and when I woke up from my work I was left with infertility due to menopause. It was a tough moment for us, I felt so guilty when I was telling this news to my dh. I think he was really disappointed in me and I have spent months blaming myself for every single decision I have made before. But time flies and we became smarter I hope. When the shock went away we started thinking about ivf option. Oh, I forgot to mention, I live in Dresden for 5 years already. Obviously 5 years ago when we started ttcing I quit my job to have more quiet life and to prepare myself for kids. But nothing happened – bfn after bfn. After we have been told that we need to try it with donor eggs, basically to use ivf option. We were in panic. Here in Germany it is forbidden by law to get the tx and I do not even have a citizenship so… I could’ve fly to US and get ivf there but it’d cost me a lot + transfer prices. We decided to look for something near us and I have found this clinic in Ukraine that everyone has been recommending us. I got my baby there from the first try. I was shocked after I heard from my dr here that it is bfp, that I am pregnant. And on 12 week test I was so happy to know that pregnancy was going nice and all.
You did right when decided to write here to ask women who have already been through some tx. It was the first step, now you have to read every single answer you receive and think what is better for you right now. I found my clinic on clinics’ site where you can see rating and reviews, I might as well send it to you if I find it again.
Oh my god, thank you for your reply! It took me awhile to read it though haha
yes, please, if you can send it to me, but I think that i could've been to it already though i am not sure about it. I am so happy that you got your bfp it's such great news!!! how is your pregnancy going? i would give everything i have to be able to be pregnant and have my baby naturally but it is not even a question and never was. hopefully my dh understand me and we are ready to start the treatment with all stimulation and everything.
you should not feel stupid because of your life decisions, maybe you missed your chance but you are pregnant right now and regrets won't change anything. love what you have at the moment and do not think about the past, as i tend to forgive myself every single time i remember what i have done..
but, let us get back to the theme of our thread. please, tell me what was the clinic you used. thnks.
Hi! I totally understand you, I too have a kidney problem, I have only one kidney and am struggling to understand whether it's okay for me to get pregnant or I should just use surrogacy too. I have been to several drs and they have said the exact opposite things, i feel like i do not understand anything. there are a lot of women who have kidney disease but can deliver properly with no risk for their lives. I am about to get another consultation with another dr, I have managed this appt almost a week ago but the queue is really big. seems like there are a lot of struggling women like me.
i am so sorry you have to have the abortion, but you should take care of yourself and your life is more important, I hope that you do not blame yourself for this because it is the worst thing to do..
That's strange, how come different doctors have such different opinions. I wish you a great appointment and I will pray for you to get a chance to deliver your bby naturally!
Yeah there are a lot of them, unfortunately I can't do anything with my feelings, I feel like garbage honestly. that;s why I am praying you to have your kid naturally with no tx involved cos I am done, the best thing I can hope for is surrogacy on my own eggs. That's it for me.
Wow, I will leave here my few words. I know how hard it must be for you to know that you will never be able to have your kids on your own, but it’s beyond my imagination what you felt when you had to do abortion. I must’ve been really horrible. And I can do nothing but express my sorrow at what had happened to you. I suppose you got a lot of support from your family and friends.
As a majority of us I too had to undergo a treatment but it was ivf de. I hap 1 stage of endo and it was easy and quick, the therapy. But I had my ovaries damaged and the quality of eggs really low. I wasn’t blessed with my clinic, because apart from the money we have spent on it ( we went to Czech for the tx and I was so disappointed because we agreed for one sum but in the end we had to pay like 3 times more because we weren’t warned that all of the medicine expenses lie on us..we thought that everything is covered by the clinic) and I’ve been through 3 bfn’s before I could get pregnant. We thought about changing the clinic, but I was too tired after aftermaths of the attempts, that we thought that those drs know me already and everything. Yes, I was able to fall pregnant but honestly I had to choose the clinic more carefully, because if another bfn I could’ve been appointed for surrogacy and I didn’t want that at all. Yes, I am on my 23 week and pregnancy goes well. I am happy that everything is in the past.
I wish you to find the clinic where you will get the tx that you won’t want to forget. Xoxoxo
How come you did not change your clinic right after your first bfn? I would totally do that, obviously it doesn't mean that the clinic is bad but you even had to pay 3 times more than you thought you would. That's for me is the sign that there's something not right with the clinic. But are there actually clinics where you pay one stable sum for the tx and can rely on it? Hm...
I thought that I will comment here too, because I have a similar problem but after 2 months of searching I think that I will never find the center I will be satisfied with. We are all have some financial issues it seems so it won’t surprise you if I say that I too seek for an affordable option, but with every day I am more and more desperate. If you will find a clinic, could you please write it here, because maybe for a lot of us it will be really helpful? I thought that by reading review on internet I will form some kind of a decent view on the situation but I guess I have to search harder or something, because everything that I see it is so hard to believe in. for example I have read lots of replies talking about Ukrainian clinic but to be quite honest I think the people behind them could possibly work for the clinic… I do not know, there are so many of them, it makes me wonder why everybody flies there. And it’s not only with Ukrainian clinics but with other European ones. I am glad to find out that in Czech you will be charged for air you breathe while getting tx so I am definitely not going there. But for other countries… I do not know.
I thought of it too, honestly everything seems too good when you read about a clinic only good stuff that's why I tend not to trust all of those comments and I write to those people directly so I can know that they are not bots. But even after talking to some of them on other forums it didn't help me that much, because different people - different opinions - different experiences. But I wouldn't mistrust all of the commenters if I was you.
Yes, Czech for me is not an option definitely, after reading some scary stories..
There are a lot of “cheap” countries, Greece for example, Ukraine, Belgium etc. also I have heard of Russian clinics so.. Have you been to those web sites where people share their reviews on clinics’ services etc? Of course, you can find those on forums but it’s harder that you think, people not always write about their experience if they were not disappointed or satisfied. In my opinion. For example, I come here to get some health advices not to read about someone’s great clinic experience.
Yes, I will be glad if you share with me your information! But why not here, in the replies? As you see there are some women who would be glad to read it in the commentary section, some of them are not even registered I suppose... But do as you want really. Waiting for your reply!
I'm so sorry for your kidney condition. of course, every woman wants to deliver her baby on her own, but sometimes there are conditions and decide for us. my case is very common and very different from you in the meantime. my reproductive health didn't allow me to conceive naturally no matter how hard we tried. surrogacy came out as a last chance and sure we used it. i don't know if it was about luck or what but our surro got pregnant after the first embryo transfer and we're waiting for twins! for us, it was rather quick but every case is different. I've met couples who were using their 7th or even 8th attempt. sure it takes time. so, no one can tell you how long it may take.
as to budget, sure US is one of the most expensive destinations for surrogacy. they have a lot of advantages like accepting unmarried or homosexual couples as well as singles. if you're hetero and married, you'd better opt Ukraine like we did. you'll pleasantly surprised with their prices and conditions they offer
Hi! You are not the first person who advises me Ukraine as a surrogacy destination, I guess it is really common to get your tx there? Why did you choose this country in the first place?
for sure, us is really expensive in terms of surrogacy at least and i do not have that much money to sign for it, but obviously you can be sure that the drs will do their best when you pay them that much money. it is hard to find an affordable and yet really professional clinic anywhere else with great reputation and all.
twins! i am so happy for you! Do you know their sex already??
You say we are all blessed but I do not feel like that at all. How can we be all blessed if we have to go to those horrible appts, get tests and tx and we can't even be sure that it will help. I am praying to use my oe and you are right that means my child will be mine for 100 % and I won't feel like I am adopting my husband's kid from previous marriage or something. That's too much for me to worry about but I can't stop myself. I know that science improved our lives and it’s not a secret, I am thankful for every single possibility I have, but I do not have a lot.
I agree with you, I went here to get to talk to real people who can tell me about pros and cons of getting tx in international centers and because it is forum I can get quick responses and to get to know lots of people in a short time. I think it is indispensable to be able to express your real concerns and feelings to other women who can give you the support and advices.
thank you! no, baby's gender is still is a secret for us. we count days till the next ultrasound.
why Ukraine? well, many reasons. firstly, because we're in Switzerland and it's quite easy and fast for us to travel to Kiev. My dh is always pressed for time because of his work so it was important for us to do everything asap.
Secondly, we based our choice on numerous positive feedbacks. result is what really interested us most of all. in addition, we were more than satisfied with fees that was only 29k for the whole surrogacy program, no extra fees. they also provided us with accommodation, meals, transportation, so we almost felt as if we were traveling for fun not medical tourism. of course, it was not for fun, our reason for traveling is more than serious. still we had time to walk around the city center, take some photos and go sightseeing.
we'll be traveling to Ukraine next week to see our surro and be present at ultrasound check. we're absolutely overwhelmed.
Is that for real, no extra fees? No matter what happens, everything is covered by that price you are paying?
Sending good luck to you! That must be so overwhelming, you are going to see your surro for the first time! That's amazing but why for the first time, didn't you see her at the beginning if the surro program?
they don't allow meeting surro before the 12th week of pregnancy. we were to come at 12th week for US and screenings and just to meet her, but unfortunately we couldn't travel. this time the tickets are already booked so I hope nothing will prevent us from travelling to Kiev. we're so impatient of meeting her and touching her little belly for the first time. moreover, they might tell us the genders this time if they show.
now regarding the price. basically, it's all inclusive as it covers unlimited number of attempts before the positive result. Also, the clinics provides us with accommodation and food each time we come. There’s also a driver to take us to the clinic and back to hotel. We were met at the airport which was a pleasure. In general the service is nice, however they have three types of surrogacy contracts. We signed up for the cheapest one. Within this contract we’ll have to pay extra in case our babies are born prematurely. This is my main concern especially now knowing that we’re expecting twins. Who knew? If we knew, we probably would sign up for a 39k contract. It covers all expenses if prematurely and have a few more benefits like better accommodation, pediatrician and PGD test (however, we weren’t opting it).
I''ll also keep everything crossed for you for that you and dh could travel to Kiev and meet your surro. This is such a thrilling moment for every IP. I remember our first meeting and our first ultrasound. it was so emotional! we all just couldn't help bursting out tears.
I hope you'll share some of these important moments with us.
this is a great pleasure
oh, a year has passed just in a blink of eye. I can't believe my little men are already making their first steps and make everything up-side-down at my house!
thank you! Only 5 days are left! I can't stop think of it and counting days.
we're both overwhelmed, both me and dh
I want this moment to be memorable both for us and for that woman. I'm taking present and souvenirs for her. She is doing such a big job for us. I'm so endlessly greatful for her. I know she gets paid and they totally provide for her during this period.
still i wanted to have something from me and dh, for her to know that we care about her not less than she cares about our children
Hi. It is sad that you're facing this trouble. So I see that you want a baby. Yet, you don't have a very open budget. That's all right, not all of us have high budgets. Neither did I when I had surrogacy. I live in the US. But I flew to Europe to a clinic that offered a cheaper deal.
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