What to do?

Hi everyone! My name is Helene, I’m 42. I have problems with my heart, have the cardiac pacemaker implanted. Obviously I can’t carry a baby and my dr had said me that it’s a huge risk getting the stimulation. I’ve looked for some clinics abroad for a surrogacy, and have written to one in Belarus. They’ve said that they have this option of getting a surrogacy with oe but without stimulation. I don’t know what to think: will it be worth it to fly over there and get a tx which has low success rate. Will it be worth my money, or it is better to go with surrogacy de at this point? The dr in Belarus clinic said that the chances are low but they can provide such tx, I kind of don’t trust them that much to be honest…

Don’t know whether to take a risk or not?

19 Replies

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  • Rater than takte the risk i woild fo for surrogacy. You wont be putting your life at risk x

  • Hi, thanks for advising me that. After reconsidering my decision I can agree with you on that. The success range is law with the natural stimulation and I might just waste my time and money on it, even after the clinic itself said that it may fail.

    So now I am looking for clinics with surrogacy option, hope to find something good in the world. :)

  • If you're happy to use de then go with that. It will still be your baby. Even having the EC can have risks as some clinics only do it under a general while all will give you pain meds. You might have healthy eggs even at 42 & it works first time everyone is different but odds are unfortunately against you so if you are comfortable with not trying with your own eggs then give yourself the best odds & use de. Good luck with whatever you decide x

  • I'm glad to receive your reply! Thanks!

    I was just considering if it's possible for me to get through surrogacy with my own eggs as the last chance. But honestly after some time I am thinking that de it's also a great option, especially for me.

    Thank you, lots of love xx

  • Hi. You know that's not very good to choose the clinic when you are not sure in its drs competence. I know that getting on surrogacy program with using you oe must be the best option for you, but reading lots of posts on the forum I have to agree that it's really risky in terms of a success, as I know that there are so little amount of fertility clinics who will agree to natural stimulation. Also there are many bad clinics in the world, just consider that in Spain they stimulate everyone no matter what th condition of a women is. They just damage the body of women who undergo such tx. You have to pay attention to all the details.

    There is nothing wrong or bad with using donor’s eggs. I think it'll be the best option for you as you cannot be sure you'll succeed in collecting your oe naturally.

    I am myself going to use surrogacy de program as I don't have a choice. But I wouldn't risk it too if I were you.

    :)

  • Hi Thank you for replying. I've been busy lately and just managed to get to the internet. :)

    I am shocked hearing about clinics in Spain! What in the world? I myself know how dangerous the stimulation might be to a woman and to risk your life because of the drs incompetence... That's horrible. Awful. I think you are right by saying that it's no good going to a clinic you do not trust, but as I've read about that option, I thought about trying it.. But after reading the responses here I doubt my choices. Now I think it's definitely better to stick with surrogacy with donor eggs after reconsidering my choices.

    That clinic told me that they are not sure for 90% that it'll be successful but they are willing to help me. But... are they really. Ok. I'm not going to rant about it anymore and even consider the choice ever...

    But.. why do you have to use surrogacy program, have you tried ivf previously? Sorry for asking about such personal issues..

    xoxo

  • No, nothing wrong about talking about our infertility issues here, honey! I went through uterus cancer and had a hysterectomy, now I am on hormones and my ovaries are in a bad shape so I have to apply for a surrogacy program in order to have a baby. That's why I do not have any experience and cannot advise you anything apart from sharing my story, how I went through this. But I see you have done some research already? You even looked for Belarus in clinics list? I suppose you already know where you are going to get the ivf tx, have you decided already on this? xox

  • I am looking now for a surrogacy clinic. I hope to find some not expensive option. I've seen on the internet lists of European clinics, yes, but actually I was recommended that one by some forum user when asking what to do in my situation. I thought that consultation won't be bad. So.

    Have you already chosen where you want to go for the program? There are so many clinics, I don't know how to start..

  • Yes, it was definitely a good choice to contact the clinic and to ask them everything you want to know. Like we should not trust every single opinion on the internet as we shouldn't be too much skeptic about this. Someone actually had recommended me a clinic earlier and I've been contacting the management since. At first I thought that it was a fraud but decided to try anyways because I have no experience in this. I was not disappointed, I was even delighted because the time I've spent talking to a manager was nice, I've had all my questions answered and we decided that of we fly to Ukraine it'd be no harm. At least we'll see another country. hahaha

  • Wow you are already planning your trip to Ukraine?? That's great! What do you plan to do there, I suppose it'd be better to visit few clinics at the time, just to be sure that yours is the best one?

  • No we are actually planning the trip in the nearest future, because my dh is busy at the moment, and we are sure that bio tex is the best choice. Though time to think about our choice is not going to harm us.

  • I actually think that taking your time is the best decision so don't rush and do not feel pressured! But contacting the clinic really can make you see where you are heading and maybe you'll decide to fly over there earlier!

  • Yes, you are right. I'll wait. We had a talk to a manager last night and the girl said that the clinic is closed in the middle of August that gives us even more time. But from what I have already gathered we will be using the bio tex's services. As I've gotten used to the thought of it and do not want to change anything. Lots of women here write that we can go there and see how it looks like and that we'll immediately agree to sign the contract and I feel like doing so. haha

  • I bet you can't wait to start the journey, It's sad that we have to wait for the additional weeks to get the tx, but I guess in my case it's my indecisive nature that keeps me off of getting the tx at the moment.

  • Biotex is a good clinic. So do not hesitate and go for it!!

  • Hun, i'm afraid ivf without egg stimulation is most likely to fail. i think it'll be just time and money consuming for u. also why Belarus?

  • Hi sweety, thanks for living your commentary. Yes, I think so too. I have thought about money and how I would risk it just for that slight chance of getting a baby with my oe. I thought the possibility of conceiving naturally is almost the same as trying this option..

    I just was looking for the clinics and asking on forums. I remember someone had mentioned this clinic in a conversation and I called them. Maybe someone would risk their time and money but I thought after talking to all of you that it'll be better to use de. Now I need to focus on finding the best option for surrogacy..

  • Girls, it feels like you hesitate a lot. Why don't go to Ukraine and see what the clinic looks like rather that talking to each other here on the forum. It'd be no harm if you do so. Even without your dhs. I feel like you are so unsure whether sign with biotex or not. But clearly you have to try first and then you will see if that was the right choice. Good luck!

  • Haha! Yes, we definitely have to take a step forward! Thanks for wishing us a good luck, xoxox

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