Insensitivity

[louisear]

I know a lot of ladies have probably experienced this kind of thing but I'm just wondering how some people can be so insensitive. A colleague (who knows my situation) told me this morning she's 7 days late and thought she must be pregnant so did the test at lunchtime today then stuck the positive test under my nose and proceeded to tell me how she will keep it but its wrong timing, doesn't really want the baby and was going to try and see it is a blessing rather than a curse! Am so angry! How do you cope with this behaviour?

[Sarahmanc]

Oh wow that's really tactless of her. As hard as it is, try not to let it consume you because it will only make you feel rubbish. If you have the strength and you think she would respond to it, maybe try and explain how hard it is for you who so desperately wants a child. Sometimes people need it spelling out! Xx

[louisear in reply to Sarahmanc]

thanks Sarah, I guess there was no malice intended and she obviously didn't know how much it would upset me. Unless you've been in this situation yourself you don't truly understand. Lots of luck to you xx

[Laura3101]

Wow that is really bad! Some people just don't understand the emotional side to this as well as physical, a good friend of mine at work found out she was pregnant which wasn't planned but she told me first before anyone else in private as she didn't want me to feel upset or anything about it which was such a nice thing for her to do. I hope it gets better for you and people start to be a bit more sensitive x

[louisear in reply to Laura3101]

thank you. That was a nice thing of your work colleague to do and being sensitive to your feelings. It wasn't like my colleague was excited to tell someone but chose me of all people anyway (even before hubby!) best wishes to you xx

[sanj76]

That's shocking to say the least... done just don't know how blessed the are. Ahhhh so annoyed.

[louisear in reply to sanj76]

I agree. Most people take it for granted. Only last week she was blabing on about how fertile she is! Good luck for your journey!xx

[sanj76 in reply to louisear]

Unbelievable... granted others are unfortunately lucky abc blessed, however there's no need to brag about such things. I wish you well

Too.

[Hidden]

Wow this ladies behaviour towards you makes me so angry😡😡😡😡

Some people don't know how lucky they are!

I'm so so sorry that she behaved in such a hurtful way.

Some people's behaviour never ceases to amaze me.

The only consulation (and it isn't much) is imagine how over the moon you will be when you get a postive test-your unborn child will be very loved and wanted-and lucky to have you as his/her mum. This will be worth of the suffering you've endured.Keep the faith hunni.

We are all here for you.

Sending lots of love your way.

❤️

[louisear in reply to Hidden]

thanks Jess. Am so glad I found this site with understanding people such as yourself. So many people we come across in life take it for granted and it's a given that they'll have babies regardless of whether they can provide and be a good parent. You're right, we will love our baby all the more because of how much we wanted and fought for him/her. Best of luck to you xx

[pm27]

How insensitive of her. It might be worth considering explaining you are pleased for her but it is difficult for you to hear pregnancy announcements, baby talk etc. especially if you think she's going to share every detail of her pregnancy with every one. Alternatively grin and bear it or excuse yourself when she starts talking about being pregnant. None of these options is great but you don't want unhelpful comments like "But of course I can't talk about the baby in front of Louise".

Sadly some people are so wrapped up in themselves they are not able to empathise. She may be one of those people.

[louisear]

thanks pm. Its a difficult one isn't it. And then I felt guilty that I had to leave the room and upset that she knew she'd upset me. Not a situation you can win! I find it a struggle seeing pregnant people mainly at work because you see them every day and can't help wishing it was me. I know it's probably not the case but it just feels like everyone else gets pregnant effortlessly. Thank you for the words of support and hope things go smoothly for you and we can have something to celebrate in 2017!xx

[romaluna2015]

I tend to just try and ignore it .. although sometimes it becomes impossible to keep my mouth shut.. especially when I see pregnant women smoking and drinking in pregnancy and I'm thinking why me why am I struggling ? When they don't deserve to be pregnant. But then I think well the child hasn't asked to be born and one day they may come to realise that they are blessed to have a baby and that others don't find it so easy to get pregnant xx

[romaluna2015]

It's shocking that would do that .. but her feelings may change as the pregnancy progresses .. maybe talk to her tell her your story and it may just give her that kick that she may need .. we may not know her background story either xx