And the insensitivity continues

my oldest friend hasn't asked how we've been getting on through this process so far so I gave her an update and said we've 2 embies on board. She responded with "see, I told you it had worked for everyone I know." Worked?? I imagine like everyone on here that we won't consider it to have "worked" until we hold our baby or hopefully babies in our arms. Another friend announced her pregnancy not long since and because it wasn't planned then went on to tell me how she needs to start seeing it as a blessing rather than a curse. What is wrong with people? I feel like I'm losing friends one by one at a time they should be supporting me 😞 xx

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  • I'm so sorry to hear how you've been treated and I don't blame you for feeling upset- I would be too. I know it's not a reason but i generally believe unless you've been through infertility people don't get it. It's no consolation but I think we all here experience others lack of sensitivity around this issue. Right now I'd advise you to put you and your embryos first and avoid these people. This is an important stage for the three of you 😘 And the last thing you need is others around you causing you hurt. You need to be selfish over this-you three are more important πŸ‘πŸ»We all here get this -yes all our journeys are different but we understand the pain infertility causes and like to support others going through similar. The 2ww is hard going enough (I've never been through IVF but I have tried clomid) and you don't any additional stress. Right now be kind to yourself and put your feet up 😘 X

  • thanks Jess. You are totally right. It causes stress when others behave like this and hard as it is we have to put it out of our minds and think about what's important. It's stressful enough as it is without others adding to it. Hope you're doing ok and you're getting the answers and treatment you need xx

  • My sister in law tagged me and my husband in an stupid IVF facebook "two for the price of one" IVF babies-and a picture of two babies and both my sister and brother in law couldn't understand why we felt annoyed or didn't want the world to know we are having fertility issues-jeez some people!!! You're definitely not alone...

    I had a good appt with our consultant last week-he's organised me to have a laparoscopy done-including HSG, checking for endo,and ovarian drilling ( clomid didn't agree with me) , and correcting any abnormalities.

    All the best with test day I hope you see two magic lines X

  • Hi Louisear,

    I know what you mean. I have a good friend who's family member had a miscarriage last year on the back of ivf. She knows I'm going through it to but still feels it's ok to say to me that "they should try harder to conceive" (it's unexplained infertility) or that she thinks it's out of order that she only found out the bad news of the miscarriage and not the fact she was pregnant! I suppose you can't expect much else from someone who gets pregnant from looking at her husband and then practically sneezes them out grrr!


  • thanks Oakey. It's true people just don't get it. I think the media could do more to raise awareness. If you think about things too much though it just makes you angry. My OH has 3 brothers 2 of whom have several kids to different women. The last one got pregnant after they'd been together 3 months! I suppose a lot of us know people like this. It's just the way of the world unfortunately. Good luck to you for your next round xx

  • But you can expect more! You're all too nice. While people who don't struggle to conceive won't ever really know what it's like for us, they can have some empathy and try to be sensitive. My best friend got pregnant first month of trying, she had only been with her boyfriend for 6 months. But she was really sensitive about how she told me and how she was on Facebook etc. And she appreciated how lucky she was and tried to support me still. Because of that I really never felt bad about any of it and genuinely only felt happiness for her, unlike how I'd been with other pregnancies. You don't have to have gone through something yourself to appreciate it must be difficult and to just think before you open your mouth.

    I don't think there is any excuse for the really insensitive comments (like they should try harder - though I have to admit I have said that about someone before after they complained they had been trying for almost 2 years, but that involved having sex once every 6-8 weeks) and people should be pulled up on it.

    Fingers crossed for you that this works Louise, and as jess said put you and those precious embies first

  • This journey really brings out either the best or the worst in people around u so I have found!! With some it's ignorance and others it's sheer thoughtlessness.ive fallen out with 2 friends already while doing this!! So sorry u r feeling lack of support xxx

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