What to do? So confused

[Skybid]

My husband has suffered from depression for a number of years and we found out that a couple of years ago that my husband has azoospermia so isn't producing sperm. This obviously has affected my husband's depression and after the last two failed ICSI's I have seen him go further and further down in himself. He now says he doesn't want kids, I think may be this is partly because he doesn't want the heartache and doesn't like to see me go through the injections etc.

After 1 failed IVF & 2 failed ICSI's we have been advised to go abroad and do egg + sperm donation due to my age and the quality of my eggs.

I was going to give it one last try and do a tandem cycle and if that fails, turn to adoption.

Really don't know what to do now???

[Hollibob]

It's so difficult, as you are both trying to look after each other....

I guess going for an egg and sperm donor would take the pressure off you and your hubby if you are ready, as he wouldn't feel like he is letting you down?

I can't find the right words to use, sorry, but you just have to both be happy together in the decision on what is next....x

[vic77]

Hey mrs this is so tough. Infertility sucks as does mental health and one can seriously affect the other. I guess all you can do is keep supporting each other and communicating and hopefully you will come to a plan that is right for you both. Huge hugs xxx

[Oakey80]

I'm in a similar situation where my husband has a really low count and feels really down about it. We're "not allowed" to talk about it but are just about to start our first treatment. I can see dh getting more and more depressed/angry as our journey goes on and it comes out in so many ways. It's so hard for all concerned and no one outside of your relationship really knows what's going on or what's right for you. Do you think he'd be up to one last treatment? If not then the decision may have already been made...so hard. Feeling for you right now xx

[bfrida]

Have the similar situation but my husband don't have any problem. I have IV stage of endometios and one tube. And we are failed few cycles of ivf, we were going abroad in one clicic but that was just wasting of money and time. I'm not a super expert in this but to my mind you should give the try for yourself. If I be you I will do it without any saying. But now we are just looking for another clinic. Maybe that will be better idea for you too. Wish you luck XXx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Skybid. Sorry to read this, but perhaps it might be an idea to ask your husband to seek some help for his depression? Perhaps in a few months time, he will then feel more able to face another round of ICSI. I would go with him to his GP if possible to discuss his options to get over this. Thinking of you. Diane