Surrogate mother: Finally I can write... - Fertility Network UK

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Surrogate mother

bethany2 profile image
22 Replies

Finally I can write here!!!

they have matched her, our surrogate mother!!!!!

right when it's my dh's birthday!! can you imagine that?

so.. the program had its second and the most important start!!!

lots of love and luck to you girls!

PS I can't imagine that I worried that much about it haha

PPS now I am waiting for the embryo transfer date we are thinking about coming to the clinic even though there is no chance of us meeting the donor and the surrogate mother. but I have to be there!

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bethany2 profile image
bethany2
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22 Replies
DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi bethany2. Well, that is good news! Just wanted to wish you all the best, and that all goes well with the transfer etc with your wonderful surrogate. I have met several of these amazing women, and seen many happy families created with their help. Thinking of you. Diane

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply toDianeArnold

thank you! as I think surrogate mothers and egg donors are one of the heroes that don't get enough recognition in the world, all of them deserve to at least be praised in the society they live in, because what they do - they make the lives of those who struggle with getting pregnant full of miracles.

even though most of them want to stay anonymous and I respect this decision, is we start acknowledging their work, they surely would feel even better.

in Ukraine (this is the country where my clinic is) I know that surros and donors are there for money, most of them, but I don't think that it is that easy to do even if you are in need. like, I still appreciate their desire to become those who help infertile women. and they are all beautiful too haha i haven't seen surro moms though, but judging by the donors, they also have to look great!

veronica1 profile image
veronica1

same here!!! i came here to wish you the best of luck in upcoming months! i have no doubts that you will get bfp, or your surro mom. because surely they are all very healthy!

you still want to come to the clinic even if you won't have the opportunity to see your surro mom and the donor?? why?? it sounds unreasonable to me kind of.

good luck!!!

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply toveronica1

thank you! i am definitely going to need that luck haha

i have been thought some tantrums these days while waiting for the surrogate mother and now we are here. this journey is something incredible!! i can't believe that i had the forces to even begin it, thankfully I have my hubby who is here for me!!

maybe for you it is unreasonable but for me it is not. this clinic is like a place where I can get my energy and where I can become more confident in what I am doing, like it is necessary to come there from time to time to show that you are still here and you worry about the program and the surro mom. soo..

veronica1 profile image
veronica1 in reply tobethany2

i get that everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs and if it makes you calm then go for it

for me i would just stay home because flying to another country and spending a lot of money on tickets.. i ahve signed with my clinic because it was cheap and i have an idea of what sum i am spending on everything ..

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply toveronica1

you know but it is nothing - it's just plane tickets and if we try we can find ones for a cheaper price.. we do not like to think about inconveniences at all as they really stop us from doing anything useful, if we did think about how expensive and tiring it'd be to fly to Ukraine we wouldn't even go for the surrogacy program in the first place you know, for now it is not an issue at all, especially when the clinic does everything to make you comfortable and you are not paying for anything else

when we talk about something as important as surrogacy and the surrogate mother i am not sure that there is a place for complaining about how pricey it is to go to Kiev..

veronica1 profile image
veronica1 in reply tobethany2

i get that but honestly i am now not in the easiest mood because of the end of my stimulation and sooner or later ( i know that in a week or so, right after New Year i am having an embryo transfer). i suppose that it is the reason i am not in my mind fully haha

i won't think about prices either when it is time to go there for such an important thing.

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply toveronica1

So rightwhen we begin this new year!! Well what can i say apart from that i wish you the best of luck and really you will get pregnant!!! I wont take any other result and you too you should stop worrying and start thinking positive!!!! As this is very important. It is not like me just sitring on news and trying to imagine my natural pregnancy but you are going to carry your own baby!!! Lot os love

serlorera profile image
serlorera

hello bethany2! that's amazing, congrats!! Stay as positive as you're nowand it will be alright, i'm sure. i'm really happy about you and I hope i will be in your shoes soon, coz i'm just going to sign for surrogacy and feel excited and terrified. your update makes me more calm. thank you!

wish you lots of luck!!!

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply toserlorera

thank you!!! oh no, you have nothing to thank for haha i am glad that my post has managed to reassure you somehow!! and wishing you good luck!

tell a little bit more about your surrogacy treatment! are you going to have EC?

xx

wilemmson profile image
wilemmson

Hello Bethany! Thank you for great news! We are at the same boat, as I'm waiting for my new surromommy will be matched. Ahh..it's so long and I can get used to it.

Wish you all the best on your journey XXX

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply towilemmson

Oh really? Hope it doesn't take too long, for me those 4 weeks were the longest period of my life when I felt both nervous and anticipative. What period of time were you promised to wait for the surro mom? Because I was told it'll be a month and even though it was I didn't believe it at first because who would? right? and if your clinic told you that you would have to wait for a long time maybe they were just careful and it won't take that long...

PS i thought that i could get used to it too but in reality.. nooo haha all of that waiting time was spent in fear of what if they don't find the surromom. and stuff

thank you and I wish you the same xx

wilemmson profile image
wilemmson in reply tobethany2

Whaaat?? 4 weeks, you must be kiddin'!!! It's my second surrogacy but last time I was told it might take up to 3 months but a surrogate mother was found in 2months. Now I was told the same and I hope it won't take the whole period. Btw which surrogacy package you chose? maybe it influences on waiting time, don't you think?

I'm nervous now and a bit angry, how can they to this so damn slowly...is there a lack of surromoms or what!? at first, me too, i was afraid they won't find a surrmom at all, but the clinic is responsible for it, so we don't need to worry at least about this. x

serlorera profile image
serlorera

I neither would I believe in their reassuring words. my friend's plastic trunk was broken after their 'transportation' and her husband's was half-open...since that accident i don't trust in luggage safety and always try not to take valuable things in it.

Yeah, I don't think you would find something better, but of course everybody has own preferences but this clinic offers pretty universal conditions and services. Who was your manager btw?

serlorera profile image
serlorera

yeah it makes sense haha

about meds, I also was concerned and I felt like a drug dealer, behaving suspicious a bit.

i guess i heard that name..mine was Anastasia

bethany2 profile image
bethany2

i think so too after reading all of your comments!! that's great.

unfortunately nothing can be always perfect, even if you had some troubles with the airlines i don't think that there is a need to be upset over it, it is very good that the clinic provided you with the room and even consulted you on your proper actions in this situation (even i understand it right).

hopefully your further time in Ukraine was great??

tiffany6868 profile image
tiffany6868 in reply tobethany2

yes i know

and i know that i was very lucky that i contacted the clinic where they were so nice to give us the chance of having a comfortable transferring to the hotel

yes, everything was fine, i was just a bit upset of not going through the flight as comfortably as our time in Ukraine was itself

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply totiffany6868

I understand but I am happy everything went well for you!!!

i am totally thinking twice before buying tickets when it is the time we have to travel to Ukraine, I am not sure that their airlines are the best because of your words and a lot of reviews online but we will see in the future if i have to use them I will.

I am just confident in one thing that when i come to Kiev I am going to be met by the clinic's car and transported to my room (i hope that it'll be an apartment).

tiffany6868 profile image
tiffany6868 in reply tobethany2

haha true this was really the best made me forget about all other clinic that are there just the comfort i jumped in after all that awful stuff with the airlines...

you know what go for anything that is out there, i was told that all of the airlines lose someone's baggage, there are times when even the most famous ones are guilty of this so..

wilemmson profile image
wilemmson

uuh now i see, i signed for standart again, so it must be a reason for delay in comparison to your quick match. reminding my previous experience i can assure you that you won't pay additional money unless you want to buy something apart your 'medical' needs.

maybe you're right but i thought it's a bit different in a clinic, thought they have their database of surrogate mothers, already checked and ready to join the program so they just need to make few mwd tests and that's all...as far as I understand, I was wrong.

bethany2 profile image
bethany2 in reply towilemmson

but for standard if we are talking you won't have to wait for too long either, it's going to take up to 2-3 months and compared to other clinics all over the world it is the quickest it can get for such a price i think.

no i actually think that they have soo many couples that want to go for surrogacy that those surro moms may be all busy, and not all of them are undergoing checkups when they are not in the program i suppose so.

for the money bit it is true, they are not fooling with you when they say that the prices are all stable and you won't have to pay more unless there is something unpredictable (excluding of course the vip contract)

wilemmson profile image
wilemmson in reply tobethany2

yeah, I know but well I just want to have a new wonder at home so much... actually I don't even know how much time does it take to match a SM in other clinics.

I hope we won't face this issue with additional money and no force majeur will occure.

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