Hello all! My name is Milana and I’m in despair. I’m 38 and I have PCOS. I also have 2 beautiful children Mary (5) and Jacob (11) delivered without significant complications. After I delivered Mary I got problems with my weight, heavy problems. Being 5’4” my weight is around 240 lbs. I think I tried everything but nothing has changed, as the reason for this are hormones. I wasn’t skinny before but 160lbs was my max. Now I’m depressed, I’m fat and I can’t take it. My husband tries to support me but I see how looks at me. I could say that my appearance is the only thing that changed, and I’m still Sarah he married to but it’s not true. I can blame hormones of course, but not sure it’s not just my real ‘face’….i’m depressed, I feel constant anger and I feel exhausted. And my problem is that I want to have the 3d baby. My dh and I decided to have 3 kids when we became parents of Jacob so I hope it may influence positively on our relationships. I can’t carry a baby being so heavy and I can’t lose weight and as I was told I should look for surrogacy if I want to have a kid but I also need to find egg donor, it’s the most sad, I wanted to have a baby 100% of my own …uurrgh. I need your support to cope with it. And it would be nice if you tell me how to start surrogacy, I know nothing about the things like this. What to do first?