Trying for a baby

Hi everyone! My name is Monica, I am from South Carolina. I’m here for advice. Just a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS. I had clomide with metformin. I went through 3 unsuccessful iui cycles and 4 of ivf. I was praying to eventually get pregnant on my last cycle but that didn’t happen, so now I am really desperate. How come I cannot conceive? Just naturally as millions of women do?

Unfortunately I know exactly what is wrong with me. I’ve read so many success stories about conceiving naturally with pcos. But I guess everyone is different and we can’t rely on someone’s happiness.

At the end of my struggles I have to try one of the last options we have – surrogacy. Doctor said that for me it is almost impossible to get pregnant. Nothing is working, so he recommended me finding surrogacy clinic in US. As easy as it sounds, right? Yes, there are plenty of options in US, but look at those prices. We just can’t afford it here. That’s why I am writing on this forum.

I just need an advice.!

36 Replies

  • Hey! I feel so sad reading your story, please do not give up! I can recommend you the clinic in Ukraine, where I was getting fertility treatment. Please PM me, and I will share with you my thoughts on it and give you some advices.

  • Hi! I am sorry for not relying you earlier. I would like to hear your story! What clinic did you use? Was it expensive?

  • We chose biotex com clinic in Kiev, the reasoning was simple - we decided to find something cheaper but still with a high success rate. We were browsing the internet and have found this one. Biotex is really nice clinic, with great staff and services. We were getting interpreter, driver, flat services apart from all the procedures included in our contract. For one price for everything. So it was not expensive we paid 7000 euros for the whole package. As addition to that was that we had additional attempts in case of a failure.

    There were lots of people and we still had a lot of lines, where we had to spend lot of time but eventually that wasn’t stressful as we had our manager accompanying us everywhere.

  • Hi! What treatment exactly did you undergo?

  • Hello! IVF with DE. I have low ovarian reserve and it was advised to me by drs. I know that you are looking for a surrogacy program, but I've had an experience over there in Ukraine and I can assure you that if you are afraid of trying it, don't be! There were a lot of foreign couples over there and we even made some friends, we share first steps, words of our babies and even are planning to meet some time in the future! :)

  • I as you can see have never had an experience like this and obviously I am afraid of starting my journey to Ukraine. Will it be successful, will I get BFP, will I be satisfied with services etc. Of course it'd awesome if I had a possibility to look at the clinic and develop my own opinion on what I see etc. But even without it, how can I be sure that everything will be alright? How did you come to the conclusion that it's a great idea to fly to Ukraine? What was the moment when you felt like doing it? I mean obviously you've also had it hard as everyone and choosing the clinic isn't that easy even if we're talking about the clinic here.. I just do not want to make a mistake xx

  • Your fears are reasonable, and I went through this faze once I was looking for a clinic. But for the first time of my life taking a risk became something I had to do as for us other option were unsatisfactory. As for now I know that I've made a right choice. But of course I was nervous back then when we were flying to Ukraine. A whole range of thought were appearing in my head and I constantly thought about "what if..". I had to stop thinking of failures as we landed in Kiev because I knew that it's unhealthy to do so as I am making myself believe in the possibility of a failure. That's bad. And as we met our manager for the first time I knew everything will be okay.. That was like an immediate feeling.

    Actually I've seen an ad for biotex in one magazine I think.. But that was after we came back home after the treatment :)

  • I'm sorry I was in a bad mood when writing you.. I've developed some form of an anxiety after everything I went through and are trying to be sure that everything will be just fine.

    I've searched and have found some ads about the clinic on the internet like in magazines etc.. thanks to you :)

  • oh! That's okay, hun! I understand your nervousness! We've been through some hardships and after all those years some of us are still trying like you. I totally with you in this, I've been through such anxiety too when searching for a clinic. Many women would be curious why didn't you sign with a clinic in your hometown, why did I have to travel all over the world.. for what worth? But I had to, we've been ttcing for a long time before. And when we've decided to have a professional help we've realized that we've already spent a lot of money on appts and tests.

    We’ve searched for a lot of clinics where we could sign for ivf program but everywhere we've noticed that they search for donors for months and we wanted to have a child sooner as I'm in my 40s. I wanted to take care of my kid for the longest time as when getting older I start thinking about death more and more and children are the way to make ourselves immortal, I think. Even though I've had mine with de, but still I can educate my son and he will become a decent person who'll make this world even better.

    I'm really thankful that Ukraine and biotex were there at the moment when we were lookeng for the option.

  • Oh hun... I didn't know thing was that bad for you... Hope now you are happy!!

    I too worry a lot these days, just to think about everything I went through and the things I will eventually have to overcome males me anxious.. I often asked myself why me, why I can't become a mother naturally?? There are a lot of women like us who suffer from infertility and we still do not feel ourselves completely understood...

    I am glad that you've found your joy and happiness through the treatment and I am getting ready for my last fight.. Cos if not now, when?

    I really hope they'll find us a surrogate mother quickly and everything will go as planned. Just to have a child, the thought of it already feels so good. :) xoxo

  • Have you contacted the clinic to make an appt? You are writing like you can't wait to begin the tx :) And I can't blame, it's one step closer to our dream! If you want you should write them soon because they as I know are closing for 2 weeks in the August, so you better hurry, hun xx

  • What? It'll be closing? Why? Will that affect the clients there? Should I really write them or...? What do you think?

    I was actually about to contact them but then life happened and I had to fly to my parents because my dad actually got ill. Thanks god it's nothing serious but I didn't find time to call the clinic and now after your notification I don’t know what to do. My dh isn't home rn and with whom to talk, I don't know..

  • Oh! I didn't want to scare you, I was told that it's just for disinfection. I've heard that they do this every year so you definitely do not have to worry. And I think you can manage the first appointment there in short terms. And if it's surrogacy de you will wait for them to find a surrogate mom for couple months so it'd not going to make a change if they have or don't this clinic's vacation.

    Sorry to hear about your parents, are they okay?

  • hey, ladies, not a reason to worry. we also proceeded with biotex and the clinic was closed for disinfection for two weeks. i was just before our babies should have born. we're quite nervous, too, but in fact our manager was always in touch and they still kept everything in control. i don't think that these two weeks may change smth dramatically. in any case, we women are always so superstitious and try to get everything in control

  • Hi, KimDerr, nice to meet you here! You are right, we cannot control our nervousness at all, as if it is our only emotion. Thank you for clearing it up too. I think of signing with the clinic soon, but possibly I'll wait for it to reopen. Do not want to feel somehow hurried or something.

    What tx have you undergone?? Congrats on your babies! That's amazing, you must be so happy right now! xx

  • sure, i'm very happy like obviously any mother in the world who waited for her mothering for so long. at times, i feel tired, sleepy and exhausted but i know that this is my ultimate happiness. my dh is more reserved still i know that he is also a happy father. i can't imagine some other choice for myself now rather than parenting. our babies were born by a surrogate using donor eggs. however, in our family life we try not to concentrate too much attention on that. they are absolutely ours and always will be

  • Yes, thank you for asking, they are fine. Though I was so nervous something had happen to them.. But luckily everything is okay!

    Yes surely I'll have to wait for the surrogate mother for months maybe even a year.. Maybe we just need to wait for a bit to commence our program when they are finished with that disinfection thingy??

  • Honey, do as you wish! Because it's the best to follow your thoughts at this point. With things like this one you should be calm and not to hurry. You may just start with writing the clinic and look what they can propose you. It's important for you to feel that everything is right, either way you'll be really negative about your tx and it's not going to be a success.

    For the record, you'll have to wait for a surrogate mom for about 3 months. That's the average term they say and most of the couples get their confirmation in 2 months!

  • Hmmm, for 3 months?? I am kind of shocked, I think I've read somewhere about such clinic where you get the surrogate mother in such short time...

    Actually you are right, it'd be no harm if I write to the clinic and ask the managers everything I want to know! That's what I should do! I mean it'll be better if they will explain me their surrogacy system in more detailed way. Thanks for your help. xoxoxo

  • Yeah, they will definitely answer all your questions, as I have written them at one point after talking to a friend of mine on one forum and we decided that I should just write the letter explaining my position and what I need. They’ve asked ne a bunch of questions too just to be sure that I fit into the program (if I have my tests results etc, also they were asking me if I could send them the results so they could be sure that It's worth for me to come in Ukraine). And after I've checked everything we were planning the first appt in Kiev. That was nice just to get the consultation because you can never be sure, you know.

    Yes, that's what I have heard..

    Good luck, sweety! Write me when you get your results or decide smth!


  • But you did have to take some additional tests when in Ukraine, didn't you? You have to pass them in order to continue and if you don't then what?

    Thank you!! Your words are so kind and you are so sweet!

  • It depends on treatment you are getting but yes we had to undergo some tests while over there even some additional ones. For example, we had our karyotype analysis sent to the clinic in before we headed to Ukraine but they’ve made us undergo it again just for them to be sure that the results are true. Also serology, blood and sperm check-ups. Yes, if you have hepatitis or something you won't be allowed to the program. Because it is too dangerous.. We had to be checked again as it was ivf tx.

  • I never thought they are so strict, it's Ukraine and you pay the money. I thought of Ukraine as of a full of corruption country where you can pay for everything.. I am surprised honestly. It took you a lot of time to be checked again?

  • Yes, it is definitely something out of the world, right? to get the decent tx in the country famous of its corruption. But fortunately not everyone in the country is that greedy, True, that they are making money out of this but honestly it's good for us too - we pay less that anywhere in the world and we get the surro and donor for the shortest time. It's great, and also there are a lot of women who are satisfied with their experience in Ukraine.

    Not really actually.

  • As I have been to the clinic I can confirm that it is too small to be able to receive as many clients as it does on its daily basis but fortunately when we were there for our first appt, I think that it was a really really great experience to see what country Ukraine is and how all the procedures are performed there, as I have undergone all kinds of the fertility tx before. Now as everything was taken off of me, I was just enjoying my time, we have waited only 1.5 months to be matched with the surro and I write it as it it was something casual, it's not although I am worried about that fact that I won't see the surrogate in ages.. Hope everything will be okay and we will get our bfp.

  • Congratulations! So you have already found your surrogate mother! That's amazing! I love when some of us keep updating the community on their success, it is so great that your dream is on its way to come true. Good luck to you hun!

  • Thank you! Yes, I thought about this forum recently as I haven't visited it for too long. I thought that it'd be nice if I talk about my concerns and worries here with someone I know a bit, who have advised me the clinic I am currently using. And I hope that it will work, that we will become parents.. There are so many changes in my life. I would like to share them with the world

  • Congrats! Yes it is a bit of a downer to not be able to see your surrogate mother but at least the clinic takes care of her and will be sending to you all of the useful and necessary information on the state of your child so do not sorry! I am sure that when you meet your surro you will be glad and satisfied that this woman is carrying your baby. Do not forget to buy her some little presents it will boost her positivity and it is unbelievably useful in terms of baby and surro's health. Try to make her feel good. Good luck!

    P.s. 1,5 months? Wow, I didn't expect it at all. Really quick.

  • Yes, 1,5 months. I too can't believe it, they have also found us a donor in 2 days so now we are only waiting to get the bfp in 2-3 weeks. Whooh, I am so nervous. We also were advised that we use donor eggs once again, because the tests have shown my inability to be stimulated. That wasn't new information, but it was nice of the clinic to not just believe what is stated in my medical history but also to check it by themselves if I am able to produce my own eggs on the stimulation without the high risk of hyper stimulation.

    I am really worried though.. what if I do not like the surro.. It is not like I like that fact that we didn't choose her by ourselves like we did with the donor.

  • I do not think that you should be worried about it. Because as I know the surrogate mothers have nothing to do with the child apart from their first and most important function – carrying a baby and feeding it with all the nutrition. She has nothing to do with the genetic material so you do not have to worry. Even if she is not Angelina Jolie the clinic chooses only surrogates who are healthy and can carry the baby and if you have signed the vip contract, they will choose for you the surro who have had previously positive surrogacy experience.

  • I can recommend to writing to the bio tex clinic managers, they can explain you more on the treatment they provide over there in Ukraine. But honestly the clinic is super affordable, I am not even joking. Just look at their web-site for the contracts' samples and you'll see how cheap their programs are. It is even unbelievable, but still even with those prices they provide good services and you can find hundreds of women bragging about them on the forums like this one.

    I myself did not decide yet on this, I have heart issues and we have chosen the surrogacy de as one of the last options existing. Thankfully there are a lot of options abroad that are affordable (relatively) and we can choose from them. But for the moment I'm thinking on staying with bio tex. Anyways I'll have to fly over there to see what the clinic looks like in real life.

  • Thank you for your recommendation!

    Yes, I have seen the samples already but they really seem like samples, I wonder if I could add some more articles into the contract?

    So you are flying in Kiev soon? Is it decided?

  • It's almost decided. But I am pretty sure I will be getting my tx there in Ukraine. But from what I know it's just samples, so probably you will be getting the chance to change something if you want so. But what do you want to add or delete?? I am not a professional in those kind of questions so I'll sign what they have to sign because honestly I do not know what else should I do..

  • You can actually make some changes in terms of your contract but not major ones obviously.

  • I've been to biotex too actually. I was surprised by the amount of people with kids. I am infertile and had to undergo the treatment over there and for my 50 years I was suffering every time I saw a kid and it was really painful in biotex. Mothers are just completely okay with their kids running in the clinic where women like me are waiting for the blood test and even for the transfer. I remember seeing a couple with two newborns (twins, I suppose) they were sitting in the bench right in front of the clinic. Why isn’t the clinic controlling such a thing?? And obviously imagine those lines, no place to sit, surrogates are everywhere (not like it's bad, but for me waiting for half an hour and not being able to sit where I want to... is just...)

  • Hi! I can kind of understand your complaints, but it is fertility clinic so obviously there are going to be kids, mothers, surrogates. And it doesn't look like it is a bad thing at all. Because for me that proves that the clinic works. I hope that it didn't make the whole experience for you bad? I think you felt like that because of the hormones. I am sure that if you were a mother or not on the tx you'd appreciate seeing little ones around you. For me that's a blessing.

    It seems like the clinic is really small and cannot serve as many people as it'd want to.. if you say that the lines were enormous. I have contacted the clinic already and we have visited bio tex and another one ileda or something... the second one was huge and luxurious, with those marble halls and everything, but there were so little people and I felt like I haven't met any foreigner there. Maybe the clinic works mostly for ukrainians I don't know. But in bio tex there weren't a lot of people in the morning, we went there at 10 in the morning and were welcomed by the main manager (ha! funny thing I have found her in the biotex's instagram.. and I am following it from now on) and we have spent 2 hours discussing the contract. We stayed in bio tex even though it's a lot smaller then ileda or ilida but we met there 3 foreign couples and we even had a chance to talk to one of them.

    We spent two nights in bio tex hotel and were blessed to hear kids crying. I know that it sounds strange, but ever since we entered the bio tex clinic we have been accompanied by kids. What an amazing journey it was.

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