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How to survive a baby shower!!?

So my best friend is having a baby shower this weekend. I was just wondering about how people deal with it? I avoided the last one but I can’t keep on doing it. Any tips much appreciated as in the past I’ve walked away feeling really depressed.

Thanks

X

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A few month ago I made a decision to not attend any! I was always coming away upset and it wasn't good for me or my partner.. A lot of my friends know our situation and are quite understanding with it. I now only do things which spark joy and its the best thing for me 🎉 I'm sure your best friend would understand if you told her how you feel x

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That sounds really good! I have been umming and ahhing over going but I think you’re right I’ll only feel miserable when I leave and I dont want to feel like that any more.

Thank you xx

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I’m the same I no longer attend baby showers, I’m fed up of putting a brave face on for me to feel rubbish when I leave and probably my poor Hubby get the brunt of my upset. If you feel it’s going to make you to upset then just explain to your best friend I’m sure she’ll understand, maybe you could do something just you and her instead? Xx

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If all baby showers do is upset you and make you feel like you are missing out then don't go.

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If you will be upset lovely then don’t go, if you’re not there your friend will get over it and still have a lovely time, if you go and you’re anything like me it will ruin your weekend with the lead up, and then the aftermath. Look after yourself sweets xx

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It’s a hard one but explain to your friend and she should understand. I went to one a week ago Sunday and even though I didn’t feel up to it I felt I would let my cousin down and the family. I did message her beforehand to explain I’d be in the background and quiet (I’m normally the loud and funny one) and she understood. I coped up until someone came to me asking how married life was and when we were going to make babies etc. They soon shut up and apologised when they seen me start to well up with tears. It wasn’t they’re fault but it does rip your heart out 😢😢

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It’s really alright not to go. Make up an excuse that you’re ill on the day or even consider telling your friends what your going through if they’re real friends they’ll understand and start supporting you. If she gets miffed at you then I don’t know how long your journey has been or is going to be but I’ve found after 7 years I can’t be bothered with people like that.

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once again fab advice from some amazing women.personally I think baby showers are awful anyway..American nonsense. I agree to do only what makes you feel good and avoid things that don't. you have to be selfish. my hubby and I avoid certain things now as it is just too painful. he was asked to be godfather next weekend to his best pals kid and said no..it would just have been way too difficult..I say avoid and do something nice you and your hubby instead and folk who don't understand well that is their problem xxx

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This is a hard one, and everyone's different. I've personally not avoided any of my mates baby showers, but that's more because my own coping mechanism has always been to tackle any problem head on, this way I've found I've managed to handle the situation better, than sort of avoiding it. But like I say, everyone's different and a few mates who are in the same boat have avoided them. The first one I found hardest but after that they have got easier. I just sit myself with the friends who have either no my got children or have older children and then drink alcohol!! 😂 my guilt for not going for close friends has always out wayed how I felt about the situation and always think it's only for a couple of hours, you can do this type of attitude. And I always have hope that one day it could be me (although if I ever got to that point mine would be after the baby was born!) It's more when you get home that it plays on your mind, or when all the fb pictures go on, but like I say it does get easier and I don't like to be thought of as the one who couldn't face it. But completely understand your situation completely. Weigh it all up and do what ever feels right for you. Xx

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i also have a babyshower in jan, my cousins gf... I have also been avoiding them but the girl whos party it is knows im ttc so she will know why, and I hate that feeling... but on the other hand I don't wanto be there and her feel sorry for me I hate it... :(

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Do what’s right for you and if that means doing something just with you bf another day then so be it! No point putting yourself through it and if you are honest with your friend then I’m sure she’ll understand. I wouldn’t recommend chucking a sicky. My best friend did that and didn’t come to my hen night and we never got over it! Xx

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If it’s making you feel depressed then I wouldn’t go. Tbh I hate baby showers and avoided them before I started this process! I’ve told my friends if this works out for me, do not organise me a baby shower! 😂

If it’s going to depress you, don’t go. This process is hard enough emotionally without putting yourself in a situation you know will hurt you.

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Personally I would have to give this a miss. If you feel however that you are strong enough to cope then by all means go. But please remember that if it’s going to be too hard on you then you have to protect yourself. It’s not being mean or selfish. Hopefully your friend will understand and she’ll have other friends there too xx

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Such a dilemma. I have had to attend many baby showers recently and even got roped in to organising 2 of them which was a real struggle. Everyone is different and if it's something you feel is having a negative effect on your wellbeing then put yourself first and dont go. You come first, always 😘

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Thank you all for your advice! I decided not to go - I had a message from her last night to tell me she understood. I had a fab weekend which was not baby related and feel 100% happier!

Thank you all for your time replying your advice really helped me to get the courage to not worry about being selfish!!

Xxx 💕

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