Hi, I would just like to get out my feelings on here and I haven't got a question just feel like this site in a way is like my personal diary.I don't know why but I'm feeling very down since my birthday as I turned 29 on Wednesday and I just can't get over that I have never fallen pregnant naturally only once through ivf but a loss at 7.5 weeks, I feel extremely selfish because I know a lot of ladies on here are much older trying for their little miracle, but I just never pictured not being a mum at this age, did anyone else struggle with the feelings of getting older and not having a baby? I also worry that if it does happen for us next year will I still have the energy to run after a toddler or have the mental strength of what it incurs. I just feel like I'm constantly waiting for my turn and the urge is even stronger now for that maternal bond than ever before! On top of that My best friend has Just announced she's pregnant, 7 weeks after my sister giving birth and I just thought it was all over but everyone keeps having babies it's hard, sorry for the long story but I'm hoping getting this out will make me feel better,
Feeling sad about the whole situation - Fertility Network UK
Feeling sad about the whole situation
it’s entirely okay to feel not okay, it doesn’t matter how old you are etc it’s quite hard, physically and mentally when you are constantly trying for a baby and it’s not happening. I started trying at 37. I finally conceived via my second transfer (after a natural miscarriage at 12 weeks) at the age of 41. I can say my body feels broken at the age now of 43 but it wouldn’t have helped to worry about this before I gave birth - and I wouldn’t change a thing now. I think something happens early 40s that makes everything harder. You have plenty of time and collagen left in your body to help your muscles deal with having a baby and you’ll find the strength from somewhere. Worrying about tomorrow is pointless, what can you change today? Exercise will help you feel less tired. I also did yoga to calm me as I found I was quite stressed. Acupuncture was something I did and stuck to a really healthy diet. It’s hard, have a cry then once that’s done. Think about something positive you can do today and maybe treat yourself to some chocolate and a glass of wine tonight xx
Positivechangeplease thank you for your reply, and secondly a big congratulations that you finally got your happy ending! I suppose no matter what age going through this ivf journey is hard, I just always thought when I was a teen that I would have babies in my 20s but life doesn't always go like that of course, I do exercise 3 times a week but truthfully I could make improvements on my diet, were going for our second round of ivf January which means I will be 30 before I give birth if it works so I'm worried what the pregnancy will be like, how was your pregnancy ? My sister told me this one was her worse pregnancy after 4 already as she's 32 now and she had her previous ones in her 20s.
Every pregnancy is different is what I’ve been told from friends and plenty of women in my bump and baby group. There are a few things that get more likely when you get older (but older than 35) like pre eclampsia and high blood pressure and gestational diabetes but not likely at 30. Understandable if you’ve always wanted kids and thought you’d have them in your 20s and feel you’re getting older but all I can say is you’re really not. 30 is still now considered quite young and given women are having children later and later it seems super young to me. My pregnancy was laden with morning sickness (which I was happy with really as it’s a sign of a really healthy baby) pelvic girdle pain in my second trimester and my third was actually the best! Lots of women have different issues all different ages and apart from risks getting higher at 40 there’s not much else to worry about honestly! I cut out caffeine on my ivf tries as that’s (imo) a fertility offender. So kept off it all the way through my pregnancy and my pregnancy was very safe for the most part and my baby a healthy size in the end. Sounds like you’re doing a fair bit to help the process. Stress doesn’t help at all so anything you can do to help that will aid you. All the best of luck x
Thank you so much 💓
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I started to actively try around 28 and felt the same as you through my early 30s TTC - especially difficult as it’s the stage lots of people around you are conceiving.
I wish I’d got fertility help earlier, which is exactly what you are doing. It’s brave and hard, but hopefully one day worth it all 🩷 You have 5 years until you’re even considered ‘old’ fertility wise. Staying healthy and fit will help.
Make sure you are happy with your clinic and look into the extra tests if not successful this next round, especially male factors like fragmentation (if applicable). Keep focused on the goal and take it a day at a time xx
Hi Yopguntastic, it really is hard isn't it, I didn't know whether to write this post as some people will be thinking I'm lucky as like I said some woman are late 30s, 40+, it's just very daunting knowing every year your closer to that lowering fertility rate, I did have a thrombophilia test and it came back positive and also my partner had stress test and it came back slightly antitoxic so we are taking things to address these issues, I just hope that helps next year in our second cycle! Did you manage to get your happy ending or are you unfortunately still trying?
It's perfectly natural to feel that way. I was 29 when my partner and I started trying for a baby. If you're ready for a baby and it doesn't happen, it doesn't matter how young you are, it's still extremely stressful. I became really fixated on the passing of time when we were going through IVF. It kept me up at night a lot, particuarly in the first couple of years. I'm now 33 with a newborn baby (I was 32 when we finally had success), and I do kinda wish I had lived in the moment a little more when we were trying and was able to act more my age. While other child-free people my age were enjoying life I was grieving for the life I wish I had. The entire process certainly aged me and I felt a lot older than my years.
You do have time on your side (even if it doesn't feel like it), but it may just take a little longer to get where you want to be.
Please be kind to yourself and do try to enjoy the moment. Best of luck x
Hi, tbh that is very wise words, I do also feel like I've missed out on a lot of life because infertility, I've been trying since early 20's so that's like 5 years of my life already! I'm so very happy that there is light at the end of the tunnel though, it also helps the majority of people replying have had success at my age or a bit older, so it gives me great hope, thank you for the uplift and enjoy your bundle of joy finally 👶 x
Hang in there, your time will come. Yes you will have the energy for a toddler for a long time to come yet, don’t worry about that. I was 41 and 43 when I had my babies and I had no problem with energy.
I know it feels like time is ticking but you are doing all the right things by being proactive early. Try and focus on your own journey and your future baby. I found it hard too when friends announced pregnancies while I was struggling through IVF but I found it useful to focus on my own path and keep as fit and healthy as I could to help my body when it came to being pregnant.
You’ll get there, just try and stay positive and looking towards the next step in the process. It’s a tough time, just take each step at a time x
I think we all go through these feelings, you spend nost of your ur life trying not to get pregnant then when you want to, it doesn't happen. I'm 39, started trying about 31, done 3 free rounds on NHS but unsuccessful, then covid happened, just started again this yr private, last round positive after 2ww but 1.5wks later it came away. Gearing up to start round 5 nxt wk. I try to not overthink and just go with the flow, I keep hope & stay positive but try not to get excited to not be overly down if it doesn't work. I totally feel the everyone else getting pregnant tho, since I started our first round at least 4 people on my team at work had babies and recently 2 of my younger cousins had babies so yep I know that disappointment, happy for them but you can't help but feel sadness "why not me", it's natural. Don't worry about the energy, that will come - when you have to, you will.
Thank you for your motivational replies, I know I will get there eventually, I think I Just needed a little break down and now I'm feeling positive again, don't know how long for but I'll take it lol. This site is a god send thank you 😊
Feeling ridiculous and annoyed with myself for feeling like this but need to vent.
Sad news
Feeling sad
Feeling so so sad, BFN today after #firstivfcycle
