Jealous!!! Anther one at work pregnant 😞

[amie1]

I know it's awfully and I'm very happy for them. But why is it easy for some people!!!

I hate feelings of jealousy but I can't help it. X

[BabyHope]

Hi Amie1,

It's absolutely normal to feel like this. I am on the same train. In my friend circle 4 are pregnant( out of which 2 were trying from last 3 years). They all talk about their pregnancies in get togethers, where I feel horrible and left alone. I am really happy for them but still avoid going with them anywhere. I stay with people where I can think of something else rather than getting pregnant. I am arranging baby shower for one of my close friend and really happy for her. But it's just I prefer avoiding being with all 4 of them together.

I wish a very good luck to you and lots of baby dust on you xxxx

[amie1 in reply to BabyHope]

Ahh thank you. I feel awful for feeling this way. It seems everyone but me is either pregnant or getting pregnant. And then people ask me are you trying? And I have to go into the whole story which then I feel they take pitty on me and it's akward. Just need a good rant I think ha!! Thank you for your reply and good luck too! Xx

[Cazo in reply to amie1]

That's one thing that really winds me up - people asking when you're going to have children, are you trying etc. it's such a personal thing and none of anyone's business! People don't know your individual situation and it's so hurtful to ask. Also, it shouldn't be assumed that everyone even wants to have children! I must say though, now we've been married for five years nobody bothers asking us any more. I guess they think if we've not had children by now there must be a problem!

[Tlove in reply to Cazo]

Yep, this is exactly my situation. I guess people ask because they are making small talk but people should be more careful. I had 3 miscarriages and am now about to start IVF and it winds me up so much when people at work ask or they make comments if you're not drinking that particular evening.

I had a down regulation scan this week for the IVF and on the same day got a text from a colleague to say our other colleague is pregnant. I just felt everything sort of drop within my body, you know that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach kind of thing. Horrible to feel that way but life goes on around us and I managed to get it together enough to congratulate her and now I feel ok again, it was just this weird feeling in that moment.

I don't tell people at work what I am going through. I just reply with 'it's not that simple' or 'if it happens it happens' and they don't go any deeper into the conversation.

[amie1 in reply to Tlove]

Ahh bless you!! I know my heart sinks too. But we keep smiling and carry on. Xx

[Hopeful1982]

Hello Amie1,

At least you can manage feeling happy for them, I used to struggle even with that! 🙈

It's normal to feel sad, angry, frustrated and jealous (that final emotion still makes me cringe) when others announce their 'good' news. Of course our feelings are really about ourselves; wondering when it will be 'our turn' and feeling left behind as others seem to achieve this stage of life with ease! The whole thing is desperately unfair!

Don't be hard on yourself for feeling as you do. It's good to have a rant and get it all out!

Take care x

[amie1 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Ahh thank you!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one xx

[pm27]

You're definitely not the only one who has had these thoughts.

Your reactions sound normal to me, I certainly felt the mixture of happy, sad and jealousy with pregnancy announcements.

[Cazo]

I know the feeling. We got married five years ago and have been ttc for three years. We've been to so many friends weddings over the last few years and every single couple have announced they are pregnant withing a few months of being married. It just seems so unfair that it's so easy for other people. I just dread the news every time and have now become really distanced from everyone now. I just can't bear hearing of any more pregnancies or births

So you're not alone feeling like that. Nobody knows how hard infertility is unless they've been through it themselves. Hugs x

[Hidden]

I feel your pain, one of my closest friends just announced she is 9 weeks pregnant after 3 months of trying it broke my heart, but I painted on my fake smile and congratulated in all the right places xxx

[Hidden]

Life is so cruel at times hun it is so normal that you will be upset ino I am when I find out someone I no is pregnant hate when they say it just happened we weren't even trying really hope ur OK hun xxxx

[Magicnumber]

I totally understand. I had to come off Facebook for a while as there were so many people announcing pregnancies. Also my sister in law, who has 4 children, (all 'surprises') keeps telling me to hurry up as she wants a niece. Grrrrr.... 😡

[Hidden]

hi there amie1 it must be hard for a woman to feel that way when it seams as though why not me it makes your arms feel heavy because the thought of you holding a bundle of joy isn't there for you i'm sorry for that and we to find, it also hard for a guy that can't have kids i would love to have a house full but that's never going to happen for me, i'm not sure why you can't get pregnant and please i'm not asking you to explain i'm just sharing a shoulder for people like us that seam why isn't me, i know you could say to me well you can find a woman but its not that simple so i feel your pain but think why has all my brothers and sister managed it but not me, i think that question might not have an answer but i hope by some chance that your day my came take care my shoulder is big enough for your head and tears take care kindest regards Alan xx

[Hidden]

you don't sit and plan to feel jealous in malice. Its because its all do bloody unfair that makes you feel like that and of course you are glad for them and wouldn't wish ill on them but you feel its not fair why can't it be my turn?