pregnant women at work :-(: So i am... - Fertility Network UK

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pregnant women at work :-(

lauren3189 profile image
18 Replies

So i am still waiting to start treatment and it is getting me down.

Just to make matters worse one of the women decided to play everyone her babys recording of the heartbeat :-(

She also mentioned how her other colleague would love a third!

Feels so unfair x

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lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189
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18 Replies
Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16

That was very poor taste of that lady playing a recording of her baby's heartbeat. Totally unnecessary and unprofessional to do that in the workplace. So sorry you had to experience this. I honestly think all women even though they are excited etc about being pregnant should think about others round them who are maybe contending with the silent struggles of ttc. Usually it's women who have never had any issues/losses etc that brag and never for a moment consider the feelings of those around them who are hurting. I trust that very soon you will get a date for starting treatment and that all will work out. Xo

lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189 in reply to Poppy16

thank you poppy congrats on your little one xx

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16 in reply to lauren3189

Thank you Lauren. Xo

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21

Can’t believe this some people can be so insensitive like poppy has said it tends to be the people who haven’t struggled who boast the most! It’ll be your turn soon lovely x

Coracle profile image
Coracle

I'm so sorry Lauren. I have had at least 8 members of staff pregnant at my work place in the last 2 years, and associated baby showers etc. I have found it really hard. However, never anything like you mention.. I am so sorry. I think sadly people who have not been through infertility forget it happens and don't think of others who may be going through this. Hang on in there xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs

Hey :) Agreed its always people who havent struggled that have no clue about the impact on others. The pregnancy talk is definitly alot harder than baby talk and seems never ending. Just know ur not alone 💞 our day will come and when it does we will remember to be sensitive xx

lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189

thank you ladies, i had this discussion with my husband yesterday. I can somewhat deal with young children but pregnancy announcements get me every time! xx

TTCs profile image
TTCs in reply to lauren3189

Totally agreed!! X

-noodles- profile image
-noodles- in reply to lauren3189

agreed!

Purpledazzle27 profile image
Purpledazzle27

I totally understand how hard that must of been. Does she know you are having fertility issues? X

Ugh. People are just ignorant of the silent pain infertility causes. Keep strong. You can get through this x

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79

I totally agree that it's women who have never had issues with fertility that seem to do things like this. I hate hate hate when people share baby scans on Facebook (not on here though because it gives me hope) and then they give you a day by day update of their pregnancy. Having had one loss, I am never going to publicly announce this one - more than anything I'm petrified of losing it. Last night a friend shared a post on Facebook about the different types of 'great moms' no mention of ivf or all those ladies who are desperately struggling to conceive. I had to hold myself back from posting a narky comment. Not sure why it got to me so much......

Jojo_2017 profile image
Jojo_2017 in reply to Lilli79

Hey

When I went into hospital for my ET there was a couple who were taking selfies and updating Facebook whilst in the waiting room. I was appalled. It looked like they were trying to conceive as a form of attention seeking!

Looby25 profile image
Looby25

I sometimes wish I was brave enough to say to family/ friends and colleagues how awful it makes me feel when they ask when I’m going to have a baby, how age is against me, to hurry up and also detailing every part of their pregnancy/ labour to me! Then I remember why I haven’t told any of them!! 1, I don’t enjoy the pity looks and awkward silences and 2, I feel like they haven’t got a clue what women like us are going through and dealing with everyday!

Sorry you’ve having a rough day, I always like to treat myself (after my own pity party lol) on these type of days!! Hope tomorrow you have a better day and remember we are all here to support one another 💕 x x x

lauren3189 profile image
lauren3189

Thank you for your support ladies as always and knowing we aren't alone x

Jojo_2017 profile image
Jojo_2017

Hey Lauren

That must have been tough for you.

I know how you feel. I manage a big team at work and it feels like I am forever having to organise new baby gifts.

I was in my nail salon and the therapist & women next to me were saying how sad it must be for couples having IVF & talking about people they knew who had spent loads & it hadn’t work. It really is upsetting & we have no choice but to suffer in silence.

I know people are not being malicious but it still hurts all the same & I wish more people had an awareness of our issues. Xx

I totally feel your pain. Ironically it seems every time we are ready to start our next round of treatment one of my colleagues announce that they are expecting. Although I'm always happy for them and I wouldn't want anyone to go through the struggles of having a baby.. it's just seems so unfair. Every time it gets harder. The talks in the staff room and in work about the pregnancy related sickness.. the scans everything just so hard. I just pray we are all going to have a great year and it's going to be one big baby boom for us all. Sending lots of baby dust. Keep smiling xxx

JenRoy profile image
JenRoy

Ugh - baby heartbeat at work is just so inappropriate! And ditto to hatred of baby scans on FB. I also can't help but think it tempts fate...so many women miscarry that I'd want to keep pretty quiet to be honest.

I decided early on that I was going to be very open about the fact that we're going through IVF.

I'm a bit naughty 😈and enjoy the awkward silence when someone says "Have you got kids?" Or "It will be you next" etc etc. I usually reply "actually we've been trying a long time and sadly it's not happened yet, we're going through IVF so fingers crossed"

It's usually followed by an awkward silence but 100% of people have then been great! Supportive, encouraging and apologetic but it's been amazing how many have also then told me about their IVF journey. Many that I had no idea about 😊.

Such a shame it's still a taboo/hidden topic. I'm breaking that silence one conversation at a time 🌈

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