Sorry if this upsets people. However I feel I have to be honest. I prefer the old sight where you could pick and choose where you went to look and what you read etc. I am finding it tough to go on Facebook and find friends given birth to twins etc. and then come on here and more pregnancy news. Today anyway. I'm trying to be happy for everyone. But sometimes it feels like a stab to the heart as I so want it to be and hubby again. I know this might seem selfish and I really dont want it to hurt people. So I'm sorry if it does. But I can't help How I feel.
I don't think it's selfish at all hunni. There but for the grace of god goes ANY OF US!! I felt the same putting my good news on being aware of some of us that it doesn't work for. These places are for support, be it good news or mortifying news and anyone that thinks bad of you and what you've put would probably be better off going elsewhere!
I'm having a bad day too piglet12. Young cousin announced pregnancy earlier in week and I returned to work today during my 2ww of my 1st IVF cycle, to the news that a colleague is also 12 weeks Pg!!! Im so emotional this week, one minute laughing the next crying. Even pushing hubby away when he's being affectionate. Just feel so negative, deflated and convinced this 1st cycle is going to fail, and frustrated and impatient!! Don't want to talk to anyone, it's a horrible feeling.
It's not that we are not happy for others to have this wonderful joy, it's just that we want it so badly for ourselves it hurts. I get it hunny so don't feel guilty xxx
Glad we are not alone in this and have each other.
Take care hunni.
️Xxx
I'm struggling too piglet12 my heads feels all over the place with my recent health worries just want some answers but alas I'm playing another waiting game.
It's ok to feel hard done by this situation I know I do and I often ask myself why me ?! I find it difficult when I hear people having babies and it's not coz I'm not happy for em it's coz I'm so desperate for it to be my turn feels like everyone can have a baby and I'm the only one who can't.i know that sounds really dumb. Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle and I'd be better of admitting defeat coz whatever I do I still am unable to get pregnant. I guess it's good days and bad days hunni and that's the way it goes. Hopefully one day it will be both of having a baby and this will be a painful distant memory but till that day You're def not alone struggling with pregnancy announcements I hope that makes you feel better. Esp after wot you've been through give yourself a break don't be so tough on yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about xxx
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Hi jess. Thank you replying. It does make me feel better thank you. Lots of love to you hunny. One day hopefully it will be us holding out much wanted babies. Take care hun. ️Xx
Hi piglet, I also completely agree. I didn't really use the website before it changed but the subsections were better. It makes sense that people can then choose which section they look at. Seeing the positives on here when you're having a bad day does cause upset for others. I am happy when people get pregnant but I want it to be me too. When I'm having a bad day and log in for support, reading some posts have upset me too. I have cancelled my Facebook account because I just couldn't handle it anymore. Lots of love xx
Hi there,
The only advice I could maybe give is be selective in what you read..for your own sanity some times. I know that this forum is a very supportive one but one way that I tried to cope was recognising that I didn't have to read every post that is put on and I can manage this through my e-mail alerts so I can see the subject heading in my own personal e-mail and then choose whether or not I want to login to this forum to read and/or contribute more to posts.
Hi, don't worry, if you can't be honest on this forum then where can you be. We all feel happy (and yet sad for ourselves) when hearing more news of pregnancies. I dare not mention my personal heartache about it out loud in fear of people judging me as jealous or bitter which isn't the case but I fear it nonetheless. I do find all posts on this forum helpful, including pregnancy news which gives me hope for the future. I left Facebook months ago and my life (and emotions) are better without it. Xx
It's perfectly natural. I can't help looking and reading the stories, even though our cycle failed in January and we had nothing left to freeze or take forward.
It's so hard isn't it as we all want it so much.
I get frustrated with people getting upset and being disappointed that they didn't get "10 eggs" or more !!!
We only got 2, and they both fertilised abnormal.
You are not alone. We are all hoping for the same thing and will have good days and bad days.
It's good sometimes to hear the positives at least there is still hope.
Keep your chin up and if need to chat , always here x
I also have days when it feels so unfair. I'm almost starting to dread hearing good news, not always baby related but things like people getting engaged. I am pleased for them but I also want to be able to share good news of my own. I don't think that the treatment helps as usually you'd have no idea if you were pregnant at 2 weeks, well I didn't when it happened naturally.
I don't read every post on here and I don't check everyday. At least on here people understand what it's like going through the infertility and treatment journey and how tough it is physically and emotionally. "Emotional roller coaster" doesn't cover the full reality of what it' sheen like for me.
I completely get what you mean, at the moment everyone around me is pregnant, and got pregnant so easily, it is hard to think why not me! However I have to disagree about this site - I love seeing the pregnancy announcements as it makes me realise that you can get through this, there is hope, and that it WILL happen!! I just refuse to give up at the moment, and I quite like hearing other peoples success stories. I hope you don't mind me saying that! I know everyone is different and everyone has different coping mechanisms so I completely understand that looking at other peoples announcements can be so devastating. I just try and turn it into a positive... if they can do it, so can I!!
I really hope you feel better soon!! Sending love and hugs xxxxx
Don't feel bad or selfish, self preservation is so tough on this journey. Even when people get positive news the toll this takes on us doesn't suddenly go away, and people we have never had fertility problem try as they might and as much as they might love us just don't understand and to be fair, thinking about it how could you possibly understand this if you have never been through it, we have trouble enough getting our heads around it ourselves. Do what you need to get yourself through, and don't worry about whatever other people think, those that matter will be ready and waiting to hold your hand every time you need it, those that don't matter - well don't worry about them, they don't matter. And as for us on here we know far better than to take anything personally. Wishing you love and strength.xx
My first cycle has failed too so feel your pain and everybody around me seems to be pregnant at a drop of a hat, so feel down, defeated and bloody useless, but tomorrows another day piglet12 and so it goes on and one day soon it will be us announcing were pregnant on here and feeling fantastic!!! and it will happen I'm sure, keep the faith and keep smiling. sending hugs and kisses x
Hey hun,i feel the exact same its soo tough this is such a horrible thing to go threw theres ppl out there who dont deserve to have children and the ones who long too have to go threw all this heartache xxx chin up
I know how you feel to some extent. I’m feeling especially vulnerable having just finished my 2WW and not got the news we wanted.
I’m kind of in two minds about it. When I tell people that we’re struggling to conceive the first thing people seem to come out with is a miracle baby story about someone they know. I got sick of these pretty quickly as it may be a miracle but to me it’s just one more person who has managed to get pregnant when I haven’t. However when I found out that a friend of mine was pregnant and hadn’t told me because she was worried how I’d take it I was really upset too. I’ll always be happy for friends who get pregnant and I don’t wish what I’m going through on anyone else especially the people I care about. I’m the one with the issues and I have to deal with them. It’s a real mix of feelings that are really hard to deal with. Some days I can handle face book and others I can’t. Segregating the site may be a good idea but there will always be something in our day that upsets us that we can’t avoid.
I agree that positive stories are good and I'm happy for those that this works for. It can also give us hope. but if the site had sections it would be easier to filter, based on what day you were having. Hope you're ok piglet x
Hi dee. I'm doing a bit better today thank you. I guess I'm just finding it harder to cope with the misscarriage as for me a failed cycle was crap yes but I did not see it as loosing a baby really. and that may have been wrong of me. But this miscarriage is like its my fault somehow and we actually lost a baby rather it just not working.
So In a way I can see positive stories are good. But I guess when you feel like I do right now it does not help as I'm really really scared our next cycle won't work. As that is the last go for us.
It makes perfect sense but this is not your fault. It is so unfair that these things happen and life is cruel at times. I have not had a miscarriage but have broken down every time I've had my period for the last few years. Only been better since I know I can focus on next cycle of ivf. Reading the positives have been hard for me at times and I've often wished I didn't have them staring at me on the screen when I'm logging in because I'm having a bad day and need support. Other days I'm happy to read them. I'm much earlier in this roller coaster of Ivf and not sure whether I'll have any further cycles after the next one. I hope my message didn't offend. I do completely agree that sections would help as it means we can filter what we read. After all we are all logging in for support or to support others.
I do hope it works for you and everyone on here. It is so unfair. Take care of yourself. xx
We're just waiting for day 1 to start our second cycle of ICSI, I'm feeling very anxious as well as a bit excited but it changes through out the day/week. I know statistically the chances of it working are low, but this is probably a bit of self preservation.
The miscarriage was not your fault, I've had 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions and there were the worst things that have happened especially the second one. You might need more time to cope with it, I know it's a cliche but time has helped, it took me about 10 months to be able to think about trying again and that was before we knew there was a fertility issue.
Hi, I just wanted to acknowledge this post. Even though we've now had a positive, I can relate to the feelings you describe on hearing others' positive news - I too never begrudged my friends their happiness but it is so painful at the same time and you feel so sad for yourself.
I too have never put anything about my pregnancy on facebook or on any other social media - it just feels wrong! I'll never understand people who post scan pics - is nothing private?!
I had always felt hope on reading positive news from others on this forum however, as it made me feel that it could happen for me too. But I realise that everyone is different and I can totally see how it could make you feel bad if having a bad day, so I'm sorry if my posts have made you feel like this; that is the last thing I would want to do.
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xxxx
Dhea rant (sorry!)
Sorry if tmi ...
