In Limbo

Hi, I'm new to this forum stuff but after some devastating news on Friday I have done nothing but search the internet looking for stories like mine & praying for a miracle. My story is that i've had 3 failed IUI treatments over the past year & a half. On the 2oth August 14 I had 5 healthy eggs removed ready for the ICSI treatment. On day 3 i had 1 of the 2 surviving eggs popped back. The only other surviving egg was turning into a blastocyst & so the professionals waited for this to finish & then successfully froze it. On 3rd September after a HCG blood test we got the best news ever, the test came back positive. Me & my Husband started to see a little colour coming back into our lives & we felt we could start meeting up with friends & family again & socialising as we have distance ourselves from everything & everyone due to our circumstances. Last Friday (19th September 14) we went for our 6 week scan only to be told that we have a sac but no faetal pole or yolk. Our world has once again coming crashing down, any light we had has now returned to dullness. I've read so many pages / forums explaining & sharing stories that when they went back the week later for another scan there was a heatbeat & that they were getting good news. Although the nurse told us to basically prepare ourselves as what she was seeing isnt a good sign & isnt what she was hoping to see. I just have a gut feeling that we wont be getting good news. All my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared & i'm feeling so low. I now have these horrible Utrogestan capsules that need to be inserted with a applicator. They are really uncomfortable to use & since using them I have a dull ache. I'm asking myself over and over why me. Im not looking forward to this Friday as I know the news we get isnt gonna be good. I wish i could climb under a big rock & never come out. I feel so many emotions, angry, sad, devastated & most of all lonely!! being a mummy is all I want. x

6 Replies

  • hi. so sorry for your devastating news. I don't know what it is. so just sending lots of love and hugs your way. xxxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear your news x

  • Hi Piglet12, my sad news is being told i'm pregnant after trying for over 2 years. We went for our six week scan last Friday for the scan & was told that all i have is a sac & no yolk or baby. I'm back at Hospital on Friday coming just to make sure there is still nothing there. I will proberly get told to stop taking the Utrogestan & wait for a period. I've read loads of forums over the last few days about people being in the same boat ....nothing there on 1st scan BUT then when they go back they have a heartbeat BUT i dont have that kind of luck. I just know im gonna be told sorry theres still nothing there!!!! All my pregnancy symptoms have dissappeared too. Thanks for the hugs by the way xxx

  • Hi, i can feel your pain hun! I know nothing in this world or any word can heal your pain. I had a failed ivf in august aswel. On 23rd august they collected 7 eggs and 6 were mature. But 2days later i was told to stop all my meds as they could not see the cells dividing. Me and my hubby's world just froze around us. Our fertilised eggs never made it to blastocyst stage n i never went back for the transfer.

    We have a review appointment coming up in october so i have my fingers crossed for that. In the meanwhile im trying to focus on others things in life at the moment.

    So all i can say to u and stay positive. I have you in my thoughts.

  • Awagh good luck for October xx. I really am trying to focus on other things. I've told myself Saturday is a new start no matter what the outcome is on Friday. I think its the not know knowing. I mean i know the 2ww is a killer but then to be told you are pregnant, go another 2 weeks until scan then get told uh, things arent looking good. You only have a sac, come back next week. I feel like Friday is D day.

    That must have been so hard for you to receive that news. I hope you get some answers xx xx

  • No i didnt get any answears, they told me sometimes things like that im mentally preparibg myself for a second go. I know the 2 ww wait is the killer and then to be told the bad news at 6 week scan, its a horrible horrible feeling!!! And can understanding hiding under a rock, but believe me, once you gain your inner strength again you'll b ready to fight again!! There are miracles still happening so please stay positive!!

You may also like...