sad news - in shock - confused

hello, just thought I would update with my news.....

Last monday i had my 7 day scan there was no noticeable development, but was told that this is normal and there would be more to see on my day 9 scan. That was last wednesday and Im sad to say that although I was on the highest strength of meds, my ovaries did not respond in any way to the ivf, and my cycle has been cancelled.

I was told that my case was so borderline and IVF was really a shot in the dark to confirm I was 100% infertile. We are devastated and feel like my heart and world has been torn apart.

I am not sure what to do with myself or how to feel. Im in shock and unsure how to cope as the answer is final.

We do not want to look into donor eggs.........its just not what we want to do.

The only advice I have been given is that it is "genetic" (severe ovarian decline) and "someone in my family must have had the same issue at some point". I have also been told to expect menopause to kick in at any time.

I also celebrate turning 32 tomorrow.

Life can be so cruel sometimes

9 Replies

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  • My thoughts are with you, I can't imagine how your feeing. Xxxx

  • I am so sorry to hear that news. This must be the toughest time you have gone through yet. Bloody awful. I'm thinking of you xxx

  • Im so sorry to hear that!! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • I'm so sorry life is way to cruel I hope you find a way to deal with your sadness x

  • so sorry to hear such painful news. it really is like a bereavement.

  • Hi there. Just to say sorry for your shock and sadness at this awful time. You're right, it is a loss and a very difficult one to cope with especially when other people are falling pregnant all the time! When it's someone you know you want to feel happy for them but it cuts you up inside. I know how you feel, I really do.

    Endometriosis has sadly ruined my fertility and because it went so long untreated one ovary is so badly hidden and squashed under my bowel it's not functioning and the other one is scarred too bad, and I found out after my lap that my egg count was too low to warrant IVF using my own eggs. I'm older than you though 42. So having to pay privately for treatment

    Anyway.... I hear what you're saying about donor eggs. But honestly, after you feel stronger and better about everything, please consider the option. It took me a lot of soul searching about the donor egg option. It literally broke my heart. I just didn't think I could do it. But you know.... I read a lot about it, watched some you tube clips, spoke at length with my parents and husband and I am now a week away from transfer using a donor egg and getting excited too!

    Remember, being a mum is all encompassing, look at the big picture, it's not just about the baby having your genes. It will have your partner's genes, and you love him. You will carry the baby, give it your blood, oxygen and look after it inside you, you'll breast feed it and YOU will be it's mum FOREVER! If you really want to be a mum/parent... maybe it could be an option

    Worth mentioning also is... If you use a donor in this country they can (if you tell them of course) when they're 18 contact the donor through the HFEA. This of course is a concern when using a donor egg. For a whole host of reasons, mainly emotional

    But if you use a clinic in Europe, Spain or Germany for example, it is completely anonymous. For this reason they have a huge amount of donors from all different ethnicities to choose from, meaning they can match your actual features rather than just the normal same hair and eye colour and height etc. For this reason we chose a clinic in Barcelona, and they have been absolutely brilliant through the whole process. My patient assistant is English too.

    Anyway I know it's something which you are not considering but I just wanted to share my story with you, as like you I was devastated when I was told I wouldn't fall pregnant naturally, and then the second blow of finding out I couldn't use my own eggs for treatment. I do really feel for you both

    Just think about it.... you can still be a mum, you can still both be parents. The child WILL be like you, because you will be it's mum!

    Take care. Xx

  • So very sorry to hear your sad news my heart goes out to you, wishing you a luck and happiness for your future. It's so hard physically and emotionally and if you do decide on egg donor after you've both had time, i hope you both all the luck in the worl. Take care thinking of you at this very hard time and saying a prayer for you both xxx

  • So sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how you are feeling, but hope that in time you will move onto acceptance and find some way forward x

  • Life is so unfair, Thinking of you and hope in time you will feel better and strong enough move forward. x

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