Do midwives actually exist? - Fertility Network...

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Do midwives actually exist?

CXCYCZ profile image
23 Replies

I’m now 12 weeks and a few days! It’s my first pregnancy. I’m 46 and it’s Double donor. I’ve just had my first NHS scan (all seems well but I have to go back next week as they couldn’t see the stomach as my little one decided after an initial. Burst of energy, to have a nap and curl up) but the letter and nhs website keeps stressing how you should talk to your midwife as early as possible and that you should met with them before the 12 week scan.

They emailed me badger notes but I have no password and no one to contact to get one. Email addresses are generic. The letter I got for my scan said if I wanted tests, to request a form from my community midwife but I have no contact for them.

The sonographer told me to ring my GP as they should have the number of the community midwife, so I did. They just said go back to the hospital the midwives are there. The sonographer had told me that morning that they were not based at the hospital.

I know the nhs is in a mess but right now so am I. I want to ask questions. Just get the feeling that I’m going to feel disappointed with the service I do get and maybe having ivf spoils you in that respect. Because you are looked after and then suddenly you are out in the world of the NHS and just being able to speak to someone and get an answer is a very hard thing to do.

Has anyone had similar or can give me a heads up on what to expect and when. I’m in East Sussex if that helps! I’m guessing each trust does it differently.

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CXCYCZ
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23 Replies
Boo718 profile image
Boo718

hiya I am in Scotland and the midwife’s here are based in the gp surgery. Compared to the ivf and how much you get looked after with them, I’m not going to lie the midwife side is pretty crap. They were so short staffed I had 4 different midwife’s. So 4 different lots of advice and 3 different consultants so 3 different sets of advice. I contacted them at the gps and saw them for the first time when I was 8 weeks. This app they just spoke and took information, you do get more scans with an ivf pregnancy but the care after leaving the private ivf could be improved hugely xxx the antenatal was also crap 2 online and 3 in person xxx

Ggg555 profile image
Ggg555

Hello there. I’m based in Cheshire in England and I just had my first midwife appointment this week (I’m 9w4d). I called my GP to arrange, they gave me a phone number to call midwives directly. At the appointment I was asked loads of questions, got loads of information all basic stuff, nothing new. The midwife took my blood to check iron levels and took a urine sample to check for any infections. She said to wait for the letter for the 12 week scan. There was lots of phone numbers in the file she gave me for emergencies, questions etc. did you ever arrange your initial appointment?

Hmm I’m in London, and was probably lucky since there are lots of hospitals around. I was told to go to the website at 7 weeks and sept register at the hospital I wanted. They got back to me within 2 weeks and I had my first app before my 12 week scan and once I had that I was fully in flow. Sorry if this doesn’t help but was wondering if your local hospital has a similar self referral option

Livinginhope101 profile image
Livinginhope101

I arranged my first midwife appointments through the GP

Owengle123 profile image
Owengle123

we’re based in Yorkshire. The GP gave me the number for the community midwife. First appointment wasn’t until about 16 weeks. My care hasn’t been bad! Appointments are now every two weeks as I’m further on in between hospital appointments.

Initially, though I felt like I was left to my own devices and had to do quite a bit of digging to find out exactly who my local midwife team were.

StarsAllAround profile image
StarsAllAround

Hi sounds stressful, I'm in England and my GP gave me contact number for community midwifes in my area they are not based in a hospital have there building. You can get there contact details from your GP or your local children's centre thus is the advice on NHS website so I would quote that to your GP. You might also find contact details for them by Googling midwife team for your area. Can I ask how your 12 week scan was booked? As my midwife was the one who arranged this at my initial booking in appointment.

JoyfulStar profile image
JoyfulStar

Hi, I can understand your frustration. It looks like you are being given the runaround with the hospital signposting you to your GP and vice versa. Sounds like you need someone from your area to advise you how it works. As it so happens, my midwife was linked to my local hospital so different to others.

The last time I had issues with the NHS, I used PALs to get answers/ navigate the system so as you are at a stalemate, it might be worth exploring contacting them or your local CCG to informally complain.

I hope you do have all this resolved.

Bexarama83 profile image
Bexarama83

hi, how frustrating. You should have had a booking appointment around 9-10 weeks. I’m in Surrey, Googled what to do and there was a form to fill in which referred me to the midwifery centre. Given age and ivf I’d imagine you’re a high risk pregnancy (as am I) so will probs be consultant led rather than midwife led…means more appointments and scans! Best of luck and hope you manage to get in touch with someone xxx

flamingopher profile image
flamingopher

Hi, I had a bit of a nightmare getting hold of midwives too. I was 11 weeks before I saw them, in the normal world that wouldn’t be too bad but after IVF you feel totally alone for those few weeks in between!

The community midwives should definitely be linked to your GP, if not based with them the GP practice should definitely be referring you to them. I really had to chase mine, kept getting told I’d been referred and when I finally got hold of the midwives they told me no referral had gone through. Ugh!

I would Google who your community midwives are, find a number and call them, someone should be able to point you in the right direction.

Good luck, this will all be a distant memory soon x

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy

In our area (NW Anglia) you have to self refer via a website. The midwife sees you at the GP practice but they are otherwise not linked and the GP just directs you to the website. I would be kicking up a massive stink as you should have had your first set of screening blood tests before 10 weeks, including for inherited diseases as well as anaemia. The midwife also needs to identify whether you need consultant led care.

See NHS guidance here: nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregn...

OOI who arranged your 12w scan? Mine was arranged by my midwife.

Just keep phoning EVERYONE repeatedly until someone helps you. As someone else said, do google your area and antenatal care to see if there is anything you’re missing. Xx

CXCYCZ profile image
CXCYCZ

thank you for all the comments. I had to do a self refferal form online. I was sent an email but no contact details. The appointment for the scan came through the post I’d just assumed it was scan and midwife. I’ve had the screening blood tests at the scan for downs, and is it porters and the other one peters? Really I was supposed to have had those tests explained to me before consenting but I wasn’t leaving without having them and I was supposed to ring the midwife to organise the form- with no contact info. I have been given access to the app they use - badger notes -that apparently has lots of useful information on but guess what, midwives need to give me the password. !!!!!

IMO it’s very very bad organisation - fire fighting and giving people a little at a time to hold them off but it just increases the stress and achieves very little.

I have to go back to the hospital at Hastings next week as they could not see the stomach properly and I couldn’t get an appointment at eastbourne and I know they have a full maternity service there so I might get more answers. Eastbourne’s got cut back a few years ago.

hadn’t heard of PALs but I will definitely try them. I’m also booking an appointment with my Gp. If I can’t get things like iron levels organised by the midwife I’ll just ask the gp to do it.

Thank you all

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy in reply to CXCYCZ

You should have had screening for thalassemia/sickle cell and also general blood profile before 10 weeks. I think they may blood type you at that one as well. The screening you refer to (Downs, Edwards, Patau) is done at the 12w scan. It’s important to get those first screening bloods done so please make sure someone like your GP knows you haven’t had them done. Xx

CXCYCZ profile image
CXCYCZ in reply to Purpledoggy

Ok thankyou. I know I’m O negative so will need an injection ‘anti D’ but that comes later unless I have a bump and I might need to have one earlier. I am concerned about other tests and will keep pushing and I will get what I need.

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy in reply to CXCYCZ

They can blood type foetuses now from 11-12 weeks, so you may be able to avoid injections depending on baby’s blood type. It’s something to ask your MW if you ever manage to wrangle one! Xx

DreamingOfTwo79 profile image
DreamingOfTwo79 in reply to CXCYCZ

Hello! Huge congratulations on your pregnancy, hope all will go smoothly! Like you, I was waiting weeks and weeks after my online self-referral for a confirmation of sorts of my booking appointment. Turns out I had simply made a silly error when stating the LMP date where I had put down April (what with the transfer fresh in my mind) instead of March so the midwives thought I was merely six weeks along as opposed to ten and I was always put back to the bottom of the pile and no one bothered contacting me. The other ladies on here have shared some super suggestions on phoning up every phone number you can find, I started with the phone number on the self-referral confirmation email, the hospital then directed me to the community midwife team and I was then promptly booked in.

In my case it was also the midwife who arranged for my scans and follow up appointments, perhaps this works differently in your trust. As for being rhesus negative, so am I, the midwife should be organising a Fetal DNA blood test for you at around 16 weeks. My first baby was rhesus positive and I fully expected for this one to be as well but to my big surprise baby is also rh - so I won't need any further Anti-D injections. I had already been given two in this pregnancy as I'd had repeated bleeding at the start of my second trimester.

Good luck for securing that first midwife appointment, once they have you on file hopefully it will all go more smoothly and you will get excellent care! Wishing you all the best! X

Lamagarden profile image
Lamagarden

Firstly, I want to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I’m 42 and yet to have success, so it’s great to hear about successful ladies over 40. I was pregnant (unfortunately miscarried) and we self referred to a hospital (as instructed by our GP) and we were given a midwife appointment. They had a specialist group of 4 midwives that only looked after IVF pregnancies. We felt we were in good hands. Unfortunately, we didn’t progress very far :-( So I don’t have any advice apart from fight to find the answers you need/deserve. Best of luck xx

CXCYCZ profile image
CXCYCZ

thank you. Just don’t give up. I started I. 2019. I had no reasons to believe I wouldn’t get pregnant. I was just lacking a man in my view but it turned out age did matter re my eggs. They also found two large fibroids and a few smaller ones. So I tried 3x IUI then 3x ivf then decided (after a very missed miscarriage on that final attempt - I had a negative test and a big bleed after test day but at 11 weeks when I was feeling a bit weird I tested - it was positive but on a scan I had two empty sacs so I don’t really know what happened. If I had known I was pregnant would it have been different… who knows). It was over Christmas!

I’d already decided to stop and move to donor eggs too. So I had the clinic In Spain lined up, had had my consultation, an operation booked to remove the fibroids in March 2020 then of course COVID happened and it was put on hold, luckily the operation was rescheduled for June but I didn’t get to Spain to do the tests etc until Nov 21. This pregnancy is the result of my 4th attempt (1xCP, 1xMC (7 weeks and after a heartbeat was seen at the 6 week scan so very unexpected and it felt horribly unfair and cruel) more tests - (nothing adverse found) then 1xBFN). That was a hard knock that I didn’t need.

Now I am where I am, still scared to believe it although I have numerous pictures after several reassurance scans. I think in my head I need the next step after scans for reality to hit. That would be the midwives.

Then I just need to cross everything and hope that because I’m generally in good health, I don’t really get sick apart from the odd cold here and there, the donor was 24 and has had live births, that so far every scan has been top of the class… it will go all the way with no more problems … but not sure I can convince myself of that.

I might have rambled but I think what I’m saying is even with no perceived issues and donor eggs from a 24 year old, it can take time. Not everyone is that lucky that it works first time, you read about some people who are but I suspect more have to try multiple times and sadly for some people it doesn’t work at all. So don’t give up but be prepared to consider all the options and take that step back.

I have three embryos left but if this fails I’m not sure I could go though it again but there is a part of me that would carry on because I can, because I don’t want to give up, because I don’t want feel like I failed or it to look like I failed and that might not be the best thing for me. But that side of me, the side that has a total disrespect for my own self care is a demon I’ve been battling with for a long time. Probably why I held off trying for a family for so long. Trying to fix me first!

Good luck

minnesota_girl profile image
minnesota_girl

Hey, message me, I'm also in East Sussex but have had a very different experience...I wonder if we're different trusts. Feel free to pop me a note x

Catkt profile image
Catkt

They do in Tyne and Wear! My community midwife was amazing & I saw her consistently along with a student midwife who she was mentoring.

That’s little consolation to you and yes I imagine every NHS trust is slightly different.

Maybe send your Gp practice a letter which may spur them on to being a bit more helpful?

Good luck and hope you have a smooth pregnancy & a healthy baby.

Habibi87 profile image
Habibi87

Huge congratulations 💕When I was pregnant, hospital was super busy so I ended up seeing the midwife for the first time after the 12 week scan. She was really lovely and said that i would be seen by the consultant too. I started to be seen by the consultant and assumed that I no longer qualified for midwife care as I never received a new appointment or anything else. Anyway at almost 29 weeks pregnant I saw on the badger app that midwives are meant to check you up for anaemia which my consultant hadn’t done so I wrote an email asking if I needed to come in…… and all of a sudden I got a call saying that I should have been seen multiple times and that somehow something had gone wrong with the system! All is well and I have a lovely baby BUT my advice is to be super insistent by putting things in writing to multiple people and don’t assume they’ll be on top of things 💕

Adalovelace23 profile image
Adalovelace23

Lewisham and Greenwich has a number I can call 10-4pm Tues-Fri to ask any questions. Yes, you spend a while on hold or you can an email with a 24 hour response.

It’s rated highly on the survey for prenatal care so I guess this is why!

Though they have got appointments at the wrong time but I’ve had enough questions that I’ve been able to check by calling up and talking to midwife on the phone!

Boo718 profile image
Boo718

hello I just wanted to stop by and see how your doing xxx

CXCYCZ profile image
CXCYCZ

hi. It got sorted out eventually. I had to call them. They were very apologetic- it was an error. An appointment was meant to be booked but wasn’t. Anyway I’ve met the midwife who is lovely and I’ve been put on a consultant led approach. Thank you for checking in.

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