I just told my friend I am pregnant, we were doing some physical labour today so had to share the news earlier than I would have chosen to.
This friend has had a previous miscarriage, and has had trouble meeting a partner and keen to start her family pre turning 40, which she is close to now....
I didn't have a great response and now I feel bad about telling her..
I have to tell my cousin post my 20 weeks scan who is struggling to conceive and now dreading that and wondering how to do it sensitively....
When we were struggling to conceive I really hated being told in person because I’d be feeling like I’d been punched in the stomach yet had to put on a brave face. I much preferred a message so I could let my real feelings out first and reply when I was ready. If the person knew we were having IVF I appreciated it if the person telling me acknowledged it was difficult for me. I had a close friend who suffered losses and went through IVF at the same time as me, when I got pregnant and she didn’t, I told her by message and told her she didn’t have to see me until she was ready. She didn’t for a long time and it hurt but I did understand. Eventually she went on to have her own baby (not until 18 months later) and she said she appreciated the understanding I had shown her. She’s decided not to have any more kids but when I got pregnant with my second she told me how lovely it was for her to be able to be genuinely happy for me this time without any of the guilt for feeling jealous she had before xx
I completely agree with this! The stomach punching bit really resonates with me - a text was always so much better xx
hi lovely, firstly know that they are happy for you even if they weren’t able to show it. I’ve never not been happy for a friend just incredibly sad and scared for myself. Your lovely news unfortunately just highlights to them how hard their journey is and they have no idea if the nightmare will ever end. The kindest way in my opinion is to send a text message, share your news and say that you will be led by them on how and when they want to see you. Know that you can’t change their situation so enjoy your wonderful news and celebrate with those you can and let them join you (or not) on your increíble journey at their own pace. 😘
Would agree with those above. By message is far kinder and sooner rather than later. I was incredibly hurt by my SIL telling me at 5 1/2 months she was pregnant. She had shared her previous pregnancies much earlier, I was in the middle of a cycle raging with hormones and she chose Mother’s Day to tell me. Kindness, sensitivity and acknowledgment will all go a long way.
I had a friend that did IVF before me and had to give up. I sent her a text separately to all of my other friends to let her process the news on her own but that i was thinking of her and how difficult the news might be. I personally feel that its the right way from own experiences...instead of trying to paint on a brave face and probably failing badly. Try not to feel bad, but also try not to lose touch with your friend over her struggles with your news.xxx
I love this friend dearly so will def proceed with more care through the rest of my pregnancy.
I just feel bad I didn't message her in advance - but, I learned for telling the news to others in my circle that cannot easily concieve to do what everyone is saying in this thread.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Dreaded spotting at 7 weeks :( - update - mixed news at 8 week scan
When did you stop progesterone?
8 weeks and 5 days pregnant with symptoms easing 
Flying with subchorionic Hematoma?
Antenatal care UK
