Intimacy

[Giraffegreen]

How do you all navigate intimacy with your partner? Sex hurts and I have genital numbness now too, I'm not sure how to navigate forwards.

[KezMurr]

Hi there lovely. If sex is sore, put if off the table for now. Do other things instead - oral sex to eliminate any possibility of pain or just good old fashion intimate kissing and hand holding.

There's certain times in the month that I've noticed it's more painful for me so I don't do it then. When it's less painful, we do it if the mood is right but my partner knows to go extremely slow, use LOADS of lube and he doesn't actually put it in all the way because when his penis hits the top of of my vagina, it's always quite sore and not enjoyable for me (due to endo adhering my uterus and bowels together).

He also takes it very slowly putting it in, like it can take us 5 or 10 minutes to even do that! I used to have vulvar vestibulitis (aka primary vulvodynia) where the entrance of vagina would tear. I had an operation which dramatically and significantly helped that but it's still a sensitive area and I have about 20 years history of tensing before and during sex due to anticipation of pain so my muscles are insanely tight down there.

Anyway, most importantly I hope your partner is very caring, empathic and kind towards you regarding sex because that's exactly what you deserve. xxxx