Terrified at thought of laparoscopy

[GrouchoSparx]

I found out earlier in the week that my recent ultrasound scan picked up a large endometrioma on my right ovary. Because of the cancer risk, GP referred me to the gynaecologist through the 2 week wait, and I was told to expect surgery.

I have a huge fear of hospitals and anything medical. It took me three years to go for an ultrasound, and still freaked out to the point where the sonographer had to stop the scan because I was so distressed. I've been sent blood forms to do within a week, but I know I can't do it...even though the blood clinic is in a community centre, I just get into a right state over the needles, and the clinics usually refuse to take blood due to me having panic attacks and screaming.

I've tried really hard with therapy in the past decade to try and get over my phobia, but I had a cyst removed from my scalp last year, and the experience has reaffirmed that I was right to be so afraid, and it set me back years in therapy.

I'm also autistic (which in itself is challenging as I can't tolerate touch or proximity of others), and I'm really scared that I'm going to be told that I'm not capable of consenting and the decision on surgery will be made for me.

Has anyone else had experience of a laparoscopy while being absolutely terrified of hospitals?

[Bellebell]

Not terrified of hospitals per se but terrified of procedures - I was more afraid of being cannulated than anything (the thought of my blood and a needle combined...) and I survived. You will too. Be sure to inform everyone you are autistic in advance and often and tell them about you being afraid of being touched. I don't know about the consent issues but I would ask your GP about that and if there is anything there you should worry about. It really depends on how good the nursing staff anf after-care is. Try focusing on something else that helps you to deal with it. After the procedure you will be too ill and tired to worry about anything else at all. I also told the anaesthesist about my fear of needles and he made sure that I saw none which was very helpful. Good luck!

[GrouchoSparx in reply to Bellebell]

Thank you for your advice - I've now asked my GP to include in her referral that I'm autistic and need adjustments. The gynaecology clinic tried to call me earlier, but I just had a huge panic attack and couldn't deal with it, and ended up throwing my phone across the room and passing out.

I think ultimately I won't have the surgery done. Especially not at this time, as I'm struggling a lot with my autism at the moment, and I think piling on lots of extra stress and fear is just going to make everything worse, and do more harm than good. I can't even face going to the GP surgery to pick up the blood test forms, let alone book an appointment to have it done (which is difficult in itself as I'm banned from some blood clinics for being "aggressive" towards staff because I was really afraid and the nurses just told me to grow up)...I know full well that they'd never get a cannula in me at all, because I won't let anyone close enough to me (that also includes my parents and other family).