I don't think I can work anymore

[JellyfishPud]

Hi all,

Apologies if this all sounds a bit dramatic but I'm really struggling right now

I had a laparoscopy in September that finally diagnosed me with stage 3 endo after a particularly excruciating year where my symptoms ramped up VERY quickly to the point I was pretty much housebound.

I started a new job in that time (3 weeks before my surgery so not ideal) & I'm now returning to work.

But I'm struggling.

I'm still in a lot of pain, luckily I work from home but I still can't sit comfortably at my desk, and even with my laptop on my knee on the sofa I'm still sore. I can't concentrate, I can't stop crying. I think the burden of knowing I now have this awful lifelong illness is really setting in and I'm not sure I can mask it any more. On top of the pain, the brain fog and fatigue is absolutely crazy.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep working while I'm in so much pain. It's absolutely debilitating and I'm terrified. Realistically, I'm going to have to take more time off work but I've spent more time on the sick than I have actually working since I joined the company.

They've been amazing and really accommodating and I feel absolutely awful that I've put them in such a rubbish position but I feel like it isn't fair on them to keep stringing this out if I'm not going to be well enough to do my job.

My head is all over and I'm just not sure where to turn.

Do I leave my job and try and spend some time finding a pain-management plan that works? Currently painkillers do nothing (tramadol, codeine, methademic acid, naproxen, even cannabis - you name it, I've tried it).

Still just figuring out how to live life with this awful illness

Any advice much appreciated!

[SunnyHappyDaisy]

I am so sorry you are struggling, I have found that after the initial feelings of relief and validation from being diagnosed you get hit with the reality of it all. Are you under a BSGE accredited centre?

[JellyfishPud in reply to SunnyHappyDaisy]

I think that's definitely how I'm feeling right now 😪 my local hospital isn't but there is a centre in the next city over to me

[SunnyHappyDaisy in reply to JellyfishPud]

Although this disease seems at the moment to have very limited options available to help us at the moment, the BSGE centres seem to look at the whole picture of how this is effecting you're life. Would it be possible to be transferred to the BSGE centre, maybe by your G.P or any consultants you are under at your local hospital? Also would it be an option for you to have a private consultation?

[JellyfishPud in reply to SunnyHappyDaisy]

I didn't even know about BSGE centres so thank you for flagging those! I have an appointment with my GP next week and a follow up from my lap surgery with the consultant a few weeks after that so will bring it up with them and see if I can access it. Thank you!