Low mood

[MalachiteAli]

Does anyone feel their endo pain is affecting their mood. Pain just comes and goes, fairly random but I often get no time off from work cause I'm either working or in pain or off work in pain. I used to be an active person but all I can do these days is sit on the sofa, watch tv and crochet. I am struggling to have the energy and motivation to do anything. I know I am a burden on my partner and a crap parent. I've never used antidepressants before but am considering asking GP for them. My work is intense, people work and I just can't face it.

[sweet_lily]

is what happened with me , never used antidepressants never even suffered from low mood until endometriosis happened and this pain so get to the point where i did ask gp for it and it helped ( ended in hospital with panic attack- believe me feels like heart attack first and last time i had something like that) after 5 months on prozac i can say im good enough getting there and feeling ready to go back to work and stop taking this medicine. im not taking any painkillers no help frim them apart causing more low mood depression and addiction. About kids your are not bad parent , noone know how bad is pain and feeling , i found out letting stuff go on this days sofa tv and some random food 🙈 is find cuddling with my kids talking , sleep and watching movies about forest with calm voice ( person who read it ) help so instead of everyday feeling like crap is only a week and then im trying to be active, outside with kids dog walk and god got 2 beautiful canaries, and fish tank with 2 fish 😂 but it helped morning singing this birds is making your day start better watching fish is calming. if you need take time off work i spend 30 weeks off it really helped stop worrying is your life living with that thing is hard enough, life is short and never enough cuddling and and talking to kids even when you struggling to get up from bed and blood is all over you pain is bad let yourself feel what you need .i never believed in depression or pain well is true it exists i was waiting too long . your not alone ! for me is only 10 months leaving with endometriosis and im giving up every time when pain is unbelievable cant see anyone to help . is only you can help you is your life is hard as hell but try smile relax ( some people saying yoga but for me and 3 kids is more like cooking cleaning 😂 no much time for yoga😂) lots of ❤️

[MalachiteAli in reply to sweet_lily]

Thanks for your reply. I have requested to speak with the doctor about my mood now. I will start taking my iron supplement again too I think. I might request bloods be done again to see if some other supplements might help. Im an occupational therapist and have always been active, using this to help prevent mental health problems (I have lots of previous trauma), so this sluggishness is really hard. I've been raised to just get on with things, even when its a struggle, so I can feel my mothers judgement of me being "lazy" or a "disappointment" right now as I feel like I'm giving in. So, I really appreciate your words. Self-care and forgiveness to myself for not managing right now is so important.

[sweet_lily in reply to MalachiteAli]

see im the same raised to get on with things with smile as life is wonderful and sunshine is amazing. i used to work 70 hours a week taking care of everything friends family happy always , till my body just stop coping with me , not feeling guilty anymore from taking that many weeks off sick or ordering mcdonald’s for breakfast, ( used to cook healthy as im vegan ) as long as im see my kids smiling! so leave washing care about you as bad it might sound endometriosis is taking our life. so let drink your morning coffee looking at this beautiful sunshine and let go everything else . and about surgery really is like brain reset , they ask you to keep eyes open and count to 10 i get to 3 maybe 3 and half 😂 then is nothing like sleep without dreams and you waking up like newborn happy without problems just fresh ! good luck let me know how it goes hope it will be good experience for you and when you woke up first thing is feeling like vomiting so dont hold it 😂♥️

[Mumpet11]

Hi, I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I too am in this predicament at the moment and have had to take some time off work after having intrusive dark thoughts whenever stressed (I work as a lawyer, so stress is an inevitable part of my job). That all seemed to begin after having started Dienogest to deal with the endo pain. It seems all of us ladies with Endo have that typical approach of trying to "get on with things" and keep going no matter the pain or fatigue but, I think, it is bound to catch up with us all at some point - particularly when our hormones are all over due to endo/hormones we swallow we each day.

I've started trying to take ownership of my health by reading lots around self-compassion, nutrition and letting myself "pause". Though, for the most part, I even find this overwhelming and struggle to concentrate and motivate myself to put this advice into action. I am trying to keep with it. I'd recommend trying "Know Your Endo: An Empowering Guide to Health and Hope With Endometriosis" by Jessica Murnane and "Outsmart Endometriosis: Relieve Your Symptoms and Get Your Career Back on Track" by Dr Jessica Drummond (this one is a little heavier in terms of the amount of tests and things suggested, but was worth a read as was "free" with Kindle Unlimited). Neither of these books are a "cure", of course, and I didn't always agree with the suggestion/content but they helped me to feel heard and ask more informed questions with my doctors.

These experiences we are going through make us stronger than most and you should allow yourself to rely on others more when things are bad. I am sure if your partner or child broke a limb, you'd assist them with everyday tasks that become impossible. You deserve the same support yourself whilst you're going through this. You are not a burden, I am sure once your children understand (as they grow up, perhaps, I am unsure of their age) they will be immensely proud of you for powering on through all of this, and for allowing yourself the time and space to heal the immense mental burden that is placed on you with having a chronic illness. I am struggling to get my parter to understand at the moment too, it gets way too much for him sometimes but as we try to be more open and I try to teach him a little bit more about how I am feeling (including how low I am), I feel we're able to build a much stronger and more supportive bond.

I really hope things start to improve for you.

[BloomingMarvellous]

Endo messes with your metabolic mechanism full stop 🛑 Pain but also the illness itself. I found a few supplements useful for both the pain and the overall mood by aiming at the inflammation. Inflammation is part of the disease process as we are all too aware of and it’s also underlying the depression/anxiety by it’s jolly old self. I use a liquid daily probiotic, liquid omega 3 in high dose form for the gut inflammation and leakiness , systemic inflammation in turn also deals with the depression and nerve pain . I’ve had benefit from Levagen for pain, gut, depression. Poor oxygenation also caused me issues so using specialist Pelvic floor hypopressives exercises helps both with pain and mobility and gives me more energy. Half the battle is having resources to hand to raise the daily bar of wellness that you can fit / flex into life. Rarely do I have sofa days now but spent a good 2 years stuck on one and too much of my time before. It’s so soul destroying when you just want to be able to be with the family and not just surfing round the edges feeling crappy. Talking to your GP is really important, I’ve used Samaritans in the wee small hours when frankly I’d rather not have continued to be alive. You’re not alone - so glad you reached out and there will be better times xx

[G3miniStar]

Absolutely! I've been on antidepressants for years anyway, always struggled with my mental health. But I've found endo and mental health are a bit of a two-fold, first the actual mental weight of knowing you have a chronic health condition, worrying every niggle is the endo reappearing, dealing with the pain, bleeding, knowing you'll be dealing with it for the rest of your life. And the second is the messing with hormones, I was told by my endo consultant it's safer for me not to be on a pill to try to control my endo, to stick with Mirena only, as I had a history of mental health problems. Your mood will be hugely affected by your hormones every day regardless of them constantly being messed about with through endo treatment.

In terms of antidepressants, as mentioned I've been on them for 13 years and I'm currently coming off mine because we're starting to try for a family. You can't be on them (or at least it's strongly advised against) if you're thinking of getting pregnant - I'm sorry, I don't know how old you are or what your situation is though you mention being a parent, which I'm sure you're not crap at! Going on and coming off antidepressants sucks, they're temperamental, coming off I feel sick, dizzy, hugely anxious, going on them I remember passing out, having uncontrollable diarrhea (sorry TMI, but I want to warn you because this is common), seeing floating colours in front of my eyes for hours at a time, and feeling so low because starting them you feel 10x worse for weeks before you feel better. They also stopped working for me and I couldn't tolerate a higher dose.

Have you asked your doctor for a hormone test or blood tess for other things that might cause you to feel low, e.g. thyroid, vitamin deficiencies? Are you on any hormones to control endo? Have you had a referral for talking therapies? Sorry, these aren't questions you have to answer, but just suggestions you may have or not considered before or alongside you taking the leap to antidepressants.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, just remember you're stronger than you think x

[MalachiteAli]

Thanks for all the replies. I have steered clear of hormones, though when I was told it was just heavy bleeding and definitely not endo I tried the mirena coil as I was told I needed to. Now I am just taking naproxen with omeprazole durduring pain flares, topped up with cocodamol if the pain is too much and sometimes amitriptyline at night. I had a number of traumatic experiences in my youth and was also taking birth control at the same time and I took an overdose that I was lucky to survive. I also later tried the 3 monthly injection that made me bleed for 9 months, the last month of which I was on an archaeological dig in the central american jungle so that was a nightmare. After I had my son at 25 I bought the book "taking charge of your fertility" and learned to chart my cycle (before the days of aps) with a specialist natural family planning nurse, so I have trued to steer clear of hormonal medications ever since and used activity in nature and a good diet to stay well successfully.

Today the GP turned me down for antidepressants which was pretty irritating as I didn't feel listened to. She referred me back to the mental health practitioner again as I stated I had previously asked for CBT and not been referred for it. The GP saw I have a previous mental health diagnosis and didn't want to take reponsibility, I think, though I would dispute the diagnosis, given that it was given in one 45 minute session which is totally against guidelines. I have been offered therapies previously that I either haven't been able to attend or haven't seen the point of, but have said more recently I would attend them. Its all about compliance and not about healing or compassion. I work in the mental health sector and I despair about how dysfunctional it is. I agree that antidepressants aren't necessarily the answer which is why I've also tried to steer of them for years too, but I am normally a busy active person and currently I feel like a stone.