giving up 😭

[sweet_lily]

im giving up, from loving happy i get to depressed and giving up as theres bo help ! had appendix surgery 12.2020, 6 months later pain and lump like hernia after appendix removed. january 2022 pain was so bad i went to a&e then been signed off from work ( next momth im back to work ) and then many trips to hospital been treated with morphine codeine and many more pain killers , stop taking them as first there no help from painkillers apart they making me feel addicted and not myself . 9 months later im on antidepressants, cant cope with this pain , right side of my body kidney hurts so much , pain is getting worse sometimes im feeling that bad i would cut this 7 cm lump on my own . Dont know what to do , never had issues with it 3 healthy kids no miscarriage and then since that appendix living in pain as much as im trying feeling like giving up , theres no help and noone understand how much it hurts ( im not drama queen after c-section 8 h went to take a shower on my own , ) but now pain is so bad even moving. What to do 😢😭😭

[Avourneen]

Don't give up Lily. You needto take meausres into your own hands. Going to A and E is a really bad idea they won't have anyone who knows about endo working there and you will just get painkillers orthe wrong advice. Search for an endo specialist, you can try a BSGE centre or search on line. Go to your GP and demand to see a good gynae and in the meantime get a really good scan done by an expert sonographer. This will show you what is wrong and then you can see how to get treated. Your situation is not permanent you can get help. DM me if you need more advice but please don't give up you can change your situation and you can get help.

[sweet_lily in reply to Avourneen]

The thing is after again ending on a&e pain is so bad i couldn’t cope with it they did biopsy saw gynaecologist, went to poland to see one also had ct scan . thing is my endometriosis is in my tummy muscles exactly same place where appendix is almost 7cm lump painful even when im walking , my kidney sore every so offten ending with urine infection. here gynaecologist told me it need to planned as they cant cut too much muscle, in poland gynaecologist said i need one surgery as there is no way to cut it thru laparoscopy and second laparoscopy as there’s something ( not endometriosis) on my ovarian . all i been asked what im thinking about birth control and now letter to see my gp waiting for gynaecologist is around 2 years . writing here is my last crying for help . i don’t understand why it’s ignored by everyone How woman’s can suffer like that in silence and work everyday taking care about the kids family with smile trying to make everyone happy including self , and you get 2 options only or suffer in silence or high from painkillers. im just feeling like is waiting for my body to shut down , everyday worried how long i get to see my kids and how long i can stand this pain when even touching my tummy hurts. went thur bad moods now im only care about my kids they everything for me and they keeping me alive. so how strong we have to be to suffer like that without understanding is really painful! being ignored by husbands doctors and laugh by everyone saying is drama . i wish noone suffer endometriosis! im lucky to have 3 kids what about girls woman’s suffering from miscarriage or no kids ! is only 10 months living with it at age 37 and im done , enough is like from happy life get to waiting for death in 10 months. i had everything, now im making myself happy for my kids are there is no other choice , cant waste they life by seeing mum is giving up i want all best for them . Never believed in pain like that or depression from pain addiction from painkillers, in 10 month i get it all , fighting myself stop taking painkillers fighting my depression, pain and living in illusion. cant believe in 2022 with everything we are ignored and left to suffer in silence

[Avourneen in reply to sweet_lily]

I'm so sorry you feel this bad. I was like this two years ago and now I am so much better. Please ask your GP for help, tell your husband how bad you feel. You need lots of help. Can your family in Poland help at all?

It is terrible that womens pain and suffering is ignored but this is why you need to fight and not give up. Tell your husband how bad you feel and that you need his help. Go and talk to your GP about how down you are.

I'm certain you can get treatent here but you will need money, can you ask your family to help ? Do you have friends who can help you ? I'm assuming you are Polish from what you have written do you have friends at church? You need to talk to someone maybe your priest or someone from your church could help. Please ask for help and people will help you.

[sweet_lily in reply to Avourneen]

believe me i did try everything, thing is in poland i can’t afford to pay for the surgery as we are not in UE anymore but was sure here treatment is free for it , if is not well ill stop fighting. Been disappointed by people so much not going to go and beg for money not even in the church, looks like cutting it on my own is only one choice 🙈😢 can’t believe we giving life to humans care about them but when we really suffer we have to do it in silence

[Kaz_67 in reply to sweet_lily]

hi, have you asked for slow release morphine, it doesn't make you feel so out of it? Also you could have adhesions, they cause the worst pain imaginable.Someone must listen to you, surely they must be able to see how ill you are love. Sorry i cannot be of anymore help. Wishing you luck n sending you strength to continue your fight.

Big hugs Kaz 🥰💪🙌🥰 xxx

[sweet_lily in reply to Kaz_67]

Weird is this doctors are just do not believe is that painful, attached to tummy nerves and muscle is making it worse, is new to me not sure how endometriosis feel is it painful lile mine all the time ? does is stop you from bending because lump is that big and swollen as my abdomen? are kidney hurts that much , uti is like weekly thing ? thank you so much scared about kidney failure or cancer

[Avourneen]

Treatment here could be for free but you will have to wait years for it. If you are a Polish citizen it might be cheaper in Poland for you. I think you can only get NHS treatment here is you have setlled stutus which means you need to have lived here for a long time and paid tax continually. If you have settled status I'm pretty sure you can get NHS treatment here. I know there is an excelent endo treatment centre in Romania which is much less expensive that private treatment here, I guess Poland would be less expensive too.

I'm sorry I can't help more, it must also be more difficult trying to explain everything in your second language. You can get a really good scan and consultation with a top endo specialist for about 400 pounds. I would suggest that, if you can raise the money then you will know for sure exactly what your treatment options are.

If you go for a private scan and consultation you can still be referred for treatment on the NHS or you could take the report back to a specialist in Poland and see what they say. There are probably some good Polish speaking gynaes working here too, that might make things easier. i find it pretty hard to get doctors to listen to what I say and understand even when both of us have the same first language.

Please don't give up just take small steps and you will be able to overcome this situation.

[sweet_lily]

been here for 17 years , working and paying tax , kids got british citizenship dont think is hard for me to explain in my second language whats wrong with my condition. Also dont think it can be done privately as this things is in my tummy muscles so it cant be done laparoscopically. If private it could cost me 100k . Had private doctors and i know exactly what and where it is , thing is is taking forever here to treat is as everyone ignore women with endometriosis. Not sure if you had surgery before but for me c section wasnt that painful like everyday living with this . Thank you for your advice, my grammar is not best is really that bad you couldn’t understand? and i need polish doctors?

[sweet_lily]

always good to feel welcome in the country i lived for most of my life had kids and work . still to be treated like better go to Poland and assuming i must be on benefits . now im off sick going back to work next month working 70h a week and paying tax since i came first to this country.