Feel like giving up :(

[Willow_stone]

The past couple of weeks have been absolutely awful, my Endo has gotten worse so I haven't really left my bed and my friends just don't understand that I can't go out, because of my endo and because my endos bad my depression and anxiety are going through the roof and I have a baseline of numb, but can flip into a manic depressive/raging psycho/ready to crack over absolutely nothing. 2 friends were supposed to visit me and they both bailed but told me at the time they were supposed to turn up. I couldn't take it I fell into really bad depression and I've just been in an awful mood since I feel so alone :/

[Jaskirat]

Aw hun, you are so not alone! We are all in the same stewing pot! It's shit it really is. I snap at my family for the smallest of comments and get sad with my friends. We are just extra emotional because our hormones are so messed up. Trust me I know it sucks but if you need a rant just message me! Sending hugs your way Xx

[applebird]

Hey, you aren't alone - lots of us going through the same. Concentrate on your family around you and any friends who are around more. You'll find the people who you can count on most aren't who you expect!

Don't be bothered by the ones who didn't show, if they're young they won't consider it a big deal and to be honest if you were well and your friends said they couldn't make it, it wouldn't bother you so much - it's only annoying because you need a lift and some support.

Again look to who is there and be good to yourself when you're feeling rubbish.

- have a relaxing bath, practice meditation, Netflix binge, if you can get out at all go on a short walk. Whatever you enjoy and that is possible - do it! Stuff anyone else, this is about you feeling better and finding ways to manage endo so it doesn't interfere with your life so much. Check out endo resolved website xx

[Willow_stone]

Thank you for the supportive comments ladies, I think it's hard for me at the minute because it was my 2 best friends that did it, they know everything I'm going through and yet they still bailed and then gave crappy excuses as to why, one has tried to make amends but the other has just acted as if I don't exist and it's really hit me hard.

I'm in this depressive pit and I can't get out, it's a viscous cycle of being depressed which puts me in pain and exhausted and whatnot and then there's me being in pain and exhausts which makes me depressed. The only person I really have for support is my partner and I feel like crap because I know I'm shutting him out the more I withdraw into myself. I know all this and I feel powerless to stop it 😭

I think also the fact that Christmas is so close and it's supposed to be a time of family and I don't speak to mine at all, my mum all but disowned me because she can't accept there's something wrong with me.

The problem is I don't know what I need to pick me back up. I can't work, so I have nothing to work for, no regular decent income, I just feel like I have absolutely nothing going for me

[Hidden in reply to Willow_stone]

Hi Willow - I feel the same as you at the moment Christmas is wonderful when you're happy and well but horrible when you're down and feeling lonely.

I've just started counselling as I need to change something but I don't have the energy to do it by myself. I've only had one session so far, but it's given me hope, and that is better than feeling like there is no hope.

I've had counselling a couple of times in the past I've found it to have been really useful. A good counsellor doesn't just sit and listen (although that helps in itself), but they give you mental tools to deal with things. Fingers crossed it works this time as I too feel like I'm losing my friends at the moment, as I'm taking everything to heart

hx

[Willow_stone in reply to Hidden]

Hi there Heath,

I've recently looked into counselling myself I think it's definitely something I will benefit from.

I certainly hope I get a decent counsellor too, hope you have the best of luck with your journey too xx

[Willow_stone]

Yeah I know what you mean and I've tried picking up new hobbies I've just bought essential oils and things to make all my own body lotions and soaps, but I really lack the drive to get up and actually do it

[Willow_stone]

I'll give it a go yeah it is really interesting the essential oils have loads of benefits with endo if you want to take a more natural approach to it too, I've learnt loads from it.

[Noeymb]

Hi

I just took a nice bath to relax and listening to happy music no sad songs especially this time of the year one get really emotional and when it comes to us endo ladies we cry for everything. You aint alone, i thought i was until i came across this webside and found very inspiring, loving ladies and guess what we have so much in commen😉

Take care xoxoxo

[Twinkle30]

Hi Willow.

Like you I don't speak to my family but I have my husband for support and he is my family. Men do find it hard to understand but really they can help with a cuddle or to snuggle up and watch movies together. Try not to push your partner away.

Others advice of getting out for a walk is such a good idea, I know you are finding it hard to leave the house but plan your route before you go and as you get happier to go out increase the length or change route. I found walking really helped me.

If your friends stick about even if the background for the moment, they are worth keeping, if not as you go through life you will meet new people. I have been in your position and you do get through it, promise.

Take care.

😊

[Willow_stone in reply to Twinkle30]

Hello twinkle,

Indeed I believe that you make your own family. My partner has been absolutely incredible nursing me back to health, picking me up when I'm down. Just sometimes I get into that depressive pit and nothing he does or says can bring me out of it and that frustrates him that he can't make me happy.

I am trying to get out for walks with my partners dog during the day but it's very hard. He has a very old house which is quite cold and I'm sure you all know we endo ladies are more susceptible to the cold and I just don't want to move from my warm little nest

I have come to learn this year that anything that doesn't bring me happiness or drags me down/ makes me upset in any way, then to remove them from my life as their not worth sacrificing my happiness. Hopefully I will find some supportive friends eventually ☺️

Take care also and hope you are well x