Trying to conceive: battle plan??

[RabbitJungle]

Hello. I am a 30 year old with endo. After many years struggling to be taken seriously by GPs, I finally had a laparoscopy three years ago which confirmed my diagnosis. At the time, I asked the consultant what I should do when I wanted to try for a baby in the future and he told me "have lots of sex" - helpful! - and sent me on my way.

A couple of years down the line and my partner and I would like to start trying. However, the thought of coming off contraception altogether (let alone for 2+ years) terrifies me, as the pill is a huge part of managing the pain for me and I am scared of what my life will look like without it.

My question is: as a woman in my early thirties with endo, will the usual "try for a couple of years" rule apply to me, or will it be possible to seek medical intervention sooner than that? And what might that 'intervention' even look like? In an ideal world, I'd like to agree with my GP or gynaecologist to try for X number of months; after which we would look at alternative options. Am I living in a fantasy land?

I would love to hear from others who have been in similar positions and how you managed trying to conceive with managing your endo. Thank you xxx

[Gabrielagrazebrook]

Hi Rabbitjungle,

I have a very similar background to you.. I’m older than you (went off the pill aged 33, had laparoscopy aged 35, have been doing IVF since 35 1/2, now about to turn 37). I would definitely see a gynecologist now and figure out a game plan. My gyno’s recommendation at the time was 6 months of ‘have lots of sex’, and if I still wasn’t pregnant then go down the Ivf route. Which is where I am now. The double edged sword is that IVF will only instigate/worsen your endo, because of the amount of hormones...

Its all a very tricky strategy/route so if you have the option of a specialist seeing you through some of the main decisions/milestones I definitely would x

[RabbitJungle in reply to Gabrielagrazebrook]

Thank you, Gabriela. I think you're right that I need to see a gynae asap to get a plan of action agreed/sorted in advance. Because of the years of trying to convince GPs there was something wrong in the first place, I tend to get really anxious about seeing healthcare professionals and assume that it's going to be a battle - however, at least now I have the diagnosis, seeing a specialist would hopefully be much more fruitful. Thank you and good luck on your journey x

[Gabrielagrazebrook in reply to RabbitJungle]

Good luck to u too 🍀. I am always here if u need to talk more xx

I know it can feel like a battle.. but if you can find a way to get a trustworthy professional opinion it will really calm your nerves.

Remember that (at least for me) 6 months only started ‘counting’ after my period normalized, meaning that likely my ovulation would have normalized too, which after 11yrs taking non stop took me 2 or 3 cycles if I remember rightly. So 6 months were actually 8 or 9.

[Knit_in_Pink]

It is such a hard choice I completely feel you! I’m 29 and facing first lap in a fortnight. If it’s any help, my gynea recommended 6 months of trying and then IVF if we have no luck. (Also for context I’m having one tube removed so not sure how that affects his time estimate...). Just listen to your body and try to enjoy ‘trying’ - stress hormones are an absolute killer for conception! Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

[RabbitJungle in reply to Knit_in_Pink]

Thanks Knit in Pink! It's really helpful to know that both you and Gabriela were advised to try for six months and then begin with intervention. You're so right, stressing about it is the worst thing to do - I think getting a plan of action sorted and clear in my head is the first step. Good luck with your lap and take care of yourself x

[Moonglo]

It’s also worth finding out if you are eligible for IVF on the NHS, and for how many cycles as this varies from region to region. You might have to be prepared to pay:

nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/avail...

[RabbitJungle in reply to Moonglo]

Thank you!

[Afrohair]

Hiya love my endo came rather instantly I didn't know I had it for a long time until I started getting terrible pain once the pain started I went on an a anti inflammatory Endo diet I was also trying for a baby it took me 2 year to have my miracle baby I also had a misscarrige at 12.5 I believe endo was the cause I never had a lap in this time .the advise of lots of sex is not wrong no matter the amount of ovulation tests etc they don't always pin point exactly I .would just take this comment as his sense of humour and lack of understanding of endo.i would advise you to seek help after 6 months though lots of people argue that it should be a year I wouldn't wait that long with endo as it is an underlying condition like any other condition that can affect fertility Don't be afraid to come of the pill it's how you manage it that's important and will bring you success.xx

[LittleG22]

My experience sounds so similar to yours. My partner and I are trying now and the gynaecologist admitted that it is a race between the endo and getting pregnant which terrifies me.

(SO much more investment in research needed! Please SIGN this: petition.parliament.uk/peti... )

He told me lots of sex, minimum twice a week, keep the sperm in afterwards for as long as possible and take multivitamins including folic acid. Apparently they recommend folic acid early as possible before you are pregnant.

They expect a non endo woman to get pregnant within 3 months if you have sex twice a week, a woman with endo within 6. He told me to go to my GP if I am not pregnant after 3 and start the ball rolling for fertility tests on both of us. With Covid, waiting lists are likely to be depressing.

He also told be that due to my history of an endometrioma and the fact one ovary is still a horrible mess on scans that I am at a high risk of ectopic pregnancy and should get a very early scan if I do get pregnant. However I don't know if that applies to you.

Seeing my friends - one with endo got pregnant in 2 weeks, one without took over a year with zilch wrong with them. So I think the important thing is to be as relaxed as possible about it as nature is confusing and complicated. If I don't get pregnant then it is not the end of the world, we would definitely consider adoption. My partner really wants his own children though so I have tried to manage his expectations as I think he will be devastated if we can't.

Another frustration I find is not knowing if or when I could get pregnant. It would be nice to have the luxury of planning when to have a family and not start earlier than I would just because I think it will take ages and ages.

Best of luck to you and your partner. X

[RabbitJungle in reply to LittleG22]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply 💕 We are in the same boat in that it's so hard to know when to start actively trying, because who knows how long it will take. In an ideal world (considering Covid and a job and house move on the horizon), we'd want to welcome a baby in a couple of years - but who knows how long it'll take? I know everyone, endo or no endo, has the same decision to weigh up about when is the 'right time' but the endo factor does rather complicate things doesn't it!

Really interesting that your doctor advised you to see the GP after 3 months - it's not long at all really, is it. This makes me feel much more confident that they won't make me wait for the normal couple of years if we aren't getting anywhere (although I appreciate our situations are not completely the same, so the advice may differ slightly).

Thanks so much again and I've got everything crossed for you and your partner, whether that is conceiving naturally, adopting or something else entirely xxx