total meltdown - endo and coil ruining my relationship?

[Meriel_Owen]

Hi ladies

I'm am so desperately searching for answers, and I thought you might empathise with my situation.

I've had barely any libido since January, when I had my second laparoscopy and mirena coil fitted. This is starting to become a problem for me and my partner. I've also gained a fair amount of weight, and then I'm stressed and anxious too. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin a lot of the time. I'm having to really work to keep my head above water in all aspects of life.

But, back to practicalities. I can't envisage taking the coil out (which I'm now seriously considering to save my mental health and sex life) without then trying for children. I'm 30 and he is 35. I want to start trying asap after the coil comes out, because of the endo possibly being an issue, and also my age. I want to avoid being in my mid-thirties and stressing out over getting pregnant.... We've been living together for over 3 years, and I feel ready (as anyone can). But he hasn't changed his opinion in over a year - He keeps saying we are not ready, financially and emotionally. He thinks I would struggle. I feel hurt by that but also just confused....which then compounds my lack of desire for him.

I feel a vast distance between us getting bigger, it's actually breaking my heart. I don't know what to do or what to say to my partner anymore.

thanks for reading/listening...x

[EndoEffect]

I hope you’re ok. I’m afraid I don’t have the coil and was only diagnosed with endometriosis just over a week ago when I had my first laparoscopy, so I can’t really advise on that. But I can definitely empathise with the lack of sex drive, gaining weight and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m on antidepressants too, which don’t help my motivation to have sex or exercise. I would love to have kids soon too. Myself and my partner are both 30. I hear and feel your pain. I really hope things get better. X