No sex drive and it's ruining my relationship! :(

Ever since I had a laparoscopy for endo back in August last year, I have had absolutely no sex drive. It's not that I can't get into the mood, I just don't even think about sex with my partner so whenever he wants to get intimate I just see it as a chore and say no because surely it's better to not do it, than for my partner to know I'm lying there completely uninterested? We are both young and although he has been very supportive, it's starting to cause problems - I don't know what to do! :( I'm currently (for the past 9 months or so) not on any form of contraception as it does horrible things to my hormones!

Please help! xxx

6 Replies

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  • I feel exactly the same, Im waiting for my lap atm,, but im in so much pain sex feels like a 'duty' rather than enjoyment and I dont even think bout it anymore, I think endo makes it so unbearable it makes me so anxious and tense sorry to be so detailed, I hope it helps, love Laura xx

  • I'm in exactly the same boat. not only does it hurt but now I'm scared of it in case it hurts! So I've stopped bothering.

    I'm also waiting for my laparoscopy and just hope it stops the pain so I can go back to a normal sex life!!

  • My only advice would be to seek professional help and face the problem head on by talking to your partner.

    Having suffered the same problem for more years than I remember and now facing a hysterectomy after 6 laparoscopies I am not sure my situation is going to get any better although I want it to.

    Suffered depression on and off due to being unable to conceive. Hubby just bought me Paul McKenna's latest book which I am keen to try.

    Best of luck x

  • Hi there , I'm sorry your feeling like that. I am experiencing the same issue as yourself, but partner is really supportive and understands. I normally try an drink loads of water if thinking of going to do any sexual activity as it helps a wee bit, but still be very sore next few days. Try different positions as some are not as sore as others. Again sorry your experience this, but with endo I think it's something us suffers have to deal with which is terrible as it does get us down. Hope you can find a solution that can give you a bit more comfort. X

  • Hi there. Yes, unfortunately sex and endo don't always go together. I can only echo what the others have said really - try to relax, don't necessarily have penetrative sex as there are other things you can do as well to still maintain that intimacy, if you can get to this though try different positions and just take things really slow.

    I suffer with severe endo and have had issues with sex, and although there is sometimes physical symptoms, i.e. pain, discomfort, cramping, etc., a lot of it can be emotional too, which complicates things even further and where seeking professional help can be useful. I've not long had a Mirena fitted just before xmas during a second lap and must admit was really not looking forward to having sex with my husband after! But explaining to him how I felt and taking things at my pace it has proved to be nowhere near as big an issue as I thought it would be.

    Hope you find a resolution soon as appreciate how tough it can be on the both of you x

  • Hi Fern,

    Try not to worry about it. I understand why you feel this way I used to feel same. However, best thing to do is sit down and speak to your partner. It took me a while to get the courage and say this is hurting me because I didn't want to make him feel rejected or not wanted but once I sat down and spoke to him about he understood. We took things slowly and started to build up to it. It still does hurt sometimes and I just tell him and we stop and he cuddles me but I had to explain to him first for him to understand. It is really hard. Thinking of you as I'm only 22 and it does make things extremely hard at times.

    Keisha

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