Endometriosis UK
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just need to complain about experience at gyno

So I finally had an appointment with a gynecologist, after waiting since January for this specific one because my mom has seen her and thought she was great. I was told:

I am not convinced your symptoms are gynacological

If the pill doesn't work for you for 3 months at a time just stop trying to take it for 3 months

The pharmacy is going to have such an issue with your prescription haha they are going to have to call me

Just take a Tylenol and an Advil at the same time they provide a baseline relief of pain

You should change your diet

You should just take cranberry pills for your bladder

Its totally fine you have cramping and spotting after sex

So you bleed for 5-7 days? No I bleed anywhere from 4 days to 3 weeks as i explained to you upon saying I have been having a "period" for the last 2 weeks...

Its totally normal that the ultrasound tech had to dig for your right ovary and that causing you some pretty decent pain is fine

*stops listening to me after I say I don't want an IUD*

*wont let me finish saying that Tylenol and Advil do NOTHING and have done nothing for years*

oh your uterus is free moving and you didn't complain when I examined you so there is nothing wrong

Yeah your ultrasound results were normal

*completely ignores the fact that I just heard a women in the next room get an IUD inserted crying out in pain*

And then i had to hang around and try and get my blood pressure back to normal before she would give me the new birth control prescription, it was almost 170 after talking to her

I was so upset I was almost tearing up in the office and burst into tears as soon as I got in my car. I did get a new birth control to try, which she supposedly designated for 2 months at a time and she gave me 20 painkillers. I will be treating those like gold.

I am still upset now and I honestly feel like my confidence is destroyed after that visit. I was treated like an overweight unhealthy uneducated pill seeking waste of her time. she seemed to even have a hard time making eye contact with me. And now I am left with alot of anxiety because it was a big joke that I might not even be able to get my prescription filled properly.

I am not looking for sympathy because I know there are women in worse positions who have had worse experiences. For me, this was honestly the worse experience I have had at a doctors, I am out of steam at the moment. I hope every single one of us finds someone who will listen and want to help xx.

21 Replies

You'll no doubt hear from many who've had similar experiences. Incredibly disheartening. Was it today? If so, to help recover from it physically and mentally I'd suggest a warm bath. Epsom salts/Dead Sea salt if you have it. After these kind of appointments I feel crushed. Helps me to relax and 'wash it all away' if you get what I mean. Give yourself a few days and then go back to your GP and request a referral elsewhere. If you do a separate post on here requesting recommendations for someone in your area im sure you'll get some good tips. I'm sorry you've had such a s**t experience. It really shouldn't be this way and you no doubt felt hopeful due to your mum's recommendation. Take it easy today and pamper the hell out of yourself! Xx


Thank you so much for your reply. I ate a massive brownie last night to help me feel better :P I am planning on calling my gp to atleast hopefully talk more about pain management. I do truly feel crushed. We always press forward though dont we!

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Brownie sounds perfect. Yeah it can be a real battle but what other option do we have but to persevere. Be really kind to yourself the next few days. It will help you bounce back psychologically and be more ready to persevere! Good you're going to be speaking to GP re pain management. Do see if folk on here have suggestions for gynaecologist or endo BSGE centre in your area too. Take care xx

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Thank you, you take care also!


We all know this situation, i know it makes u feel no better but it seems normal to b “ fobbed off” .

It took me 25 years to eventually get someone to listen to me after just being told “ periods are 💩 what do you expect?” .

On the other hand i had two ultrasounds both times digging so hard i nearly pee meself but it seems i have a shy left ovary( not shy once a month when the little bleeder nearly killing me) but i know what that feels like but they do have to push hard sometimes to see a ovary that mayb hidden.

So eventually had a lap with a good endo gynae and after all these years there was no endo!! Totally healthy? I was gobsmacked .. everyone was gobsmacked .

They did notice my blood was clotting to quick so put me on tran acid which has helped ALOT as i was giving birth to clots the size of 50ps ( TMI SORRY) it was like labour and that has stopped.

I was also told to go on the anti imflammatory diet for ibs and i have been for a year now and i will say 85% of what we all thought was endo symptoms have gone it turns out i may have been gluten intolerant which inflames ur body and since i gave it up my periods have been soooo much better BUT at same time she should b doin the lap first before she decides no endo or go on pill... as that eliminates that then u go from there of list of other things it could be.

Plus it puts your mind at ease.

Mayb go back to ur gp and ask for another consult and a lap.


Thank you for your reply, I am definetly going back to my gp to pursue this more. I was really optimistic that I was not going to have an uphill battle and now I think I wont be so lucky. I would have pushed off surgery had she suggested it but I want to do it now so they can find something and prove me right!


Yeh defo do that as u do need to have a lap as that is only way to determine if u have it there no other way and it can even b missed in a lap but there not much u can do about that. I mean they say i havent got it but who knows? I may have and they didnt see it but my symptons are more easier then before so i can cope with that and im hoping at 44 i may go through the change early lol.

Stop them pesky periods once and for all!

My mum had awful periods all her life went through change with not even so much as a hot sweat and no more pain or periods! Only good thing about getting older lol.

Once u had the lap if it comes back clear then u go onto ibs or other related illnesses.

I will say though that the endo diet is very good it will help u, if u are eating all bad foods it will inflame pain and problems in stomach


Aww. It's been mentioned in replies already that lots of women will have similar experiences to share. I'm one too. At my first gynecologist appointment I was told my symptoms sounded nothing like endometriosis, the Dr who referred me was being over cautious and referred women with too much ease. Three years on and loads of investigations later I've just been put on the waiting list for my first laparoscopy.

Can not wait. I've seen different gynecologists in that three years and some have been way better than others.

I think it's in general. When I was pregnant with my first child I couldn't stop being sick and was losing weight at 7lb per week. I saw the same GP twice in two weeks and all he said was

'your pregnant what did you expect'

My answer was 'not this'!

Two stone loss later and extremely ill I got to see a different Dr same surgery who said I was seriously ill with hypermesis Gravidarum and started me on medication to stop the sickness.

My point is, take time to be angry then go back determind to get an answer for your pain.

Good luck xx

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Thank you for your reply, I was very angry after being devastated and I am still dissapointed but I have made an apt with my gp for about a month from now. I guess I spent too much time being passive and have promised myself to be more agressive, so far it seems like being agressive is not appreciated! I am trying to have confidence that I will find the doctor who treats me like I waant to be treated. I appreciate all you ladies helping get some courage back :)


*look of horror*

OMG!!!! You need to see someone else!!! Arrrrgghhhh that makes me mad on your behalf.

I too had a similar experience. Its scarily similar. Although part of it was with one gynaecologist i was refered to as a teen (i was placed on tri cyle....told just use pain killers theres nothing we can do....yiud havr to have a lap and its risky *underlining meaning.....its expensive and we dont want to waste nhs money on something we cant treat, if we even find something* came out feelibg like i had wasted his time.. i was only 16 and suffered from big lack if self confidence....still do) the other was a private gynaecologist....a woman this time as i thought maybe there was a chance they would be a little bit more understanding....and private so i could talk with out fear of wasting their time....yep that was a BAD decision. It made me feel worse. And the same thing was said. Your womb is able to move....you dont have it. THATS RUBBISH

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I honestly was having a hard time believing that she said some of this stuff like all the ridiculous things people believe about endo and shes a gynacologist and female... i think i will be requesting to see someone else entirely. I am sorry fpr what youve been through but i do feel very encouraged by you having been told the same things and been diagnosed. Thank you for your reply! I will post again after seeing my gp end of june :)


You are very brave. My gp was very unhelpful.

She suggested the coil and that was on the letter i had to tke to the private lady gynaecologist....and thats what she suggested. The fact that i was in pain at smear tests...and that u had a tilted womb... she said that id probably have to be knkcked out to have it placed in.....😲 are you kidding me!!! If you are gona knock me out for that then do the frigging lap!

I had refused at gp and i refused again with the lady gynaecologist to have that done.

I dont cry. But i did once i can out. I frightened my sister with my shear upset ness.

Do you know what i did next? I rang a private hospital (not just part of an nhs one that does private work). After telling them what happened they got me info and contact number of a private specialist gynaecologist in endo. I rang and left a message...it was his actual mobile number used for work and HE RANG ME BACK 😆 he talked to me on the phone before i hen said i would make an official appointment with him at the clinic.

He was wonderful. Non judgemental. Listened to me. Didnt require me to have a gp referal letter. He changed my world and i am forgever grateful to him. I even send him a xmas card.

Please finsd a specialist to have a look at you. Endo may be a gynaecology issue but not all gynaecologist understand it. It is a specialised area.

Good luck. And Dont stop oushing untill you get answers.

Head up xx

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Thank you! I am feeling better after everyones help and advice. :)

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Hi sorry to hear that you've had to go through this...

You really need to find another doctor, I myself have gone through so many doctors. The last one recommended that I see a psychologist because there was nothing he could do for me.

I have finally found a gyno who listened to everything I said and understood all of it. I have been diagnosed with endo and everything all makes sense now. I am due for my lap at the end of August.

The thing that caught my eye is when you wrote that you spot after sex, this rings alarm bells to me only because I was asked this by my new gyno and it is extremely important you follow this up. It is not normal to spot after sex nor is is suppose to be painful. Don't lose hope until you find the right dr.

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Thank you for your reply, I feel dumbfounded that she didnt pick any one symptom to take more seriously. I know that I may never be back to me 5 years ago but I dont enjoy really anything, truly, anymore. All of your replies have given me more perspective on my personal situation as well as the disease whole. I am feeling much more prepared to revisit the dr.s :)


Queen RR21, There are some folks that literally have their hiney on their shoulders and that doctor sounds like one... Doctors are still people standing behind a title. Some may have the title but, can't handle a case that requires research and a true understanding of how the body works. Therefore, they fail to address the real issue. Rather, they "pee on your leg and tell you that its raining" ((Judge Judy S. 😀). So, do not allow that "doctor" or anyone else to crush your spirit and steal your joy. She has done this to others...you are not the first. YES...take time to pamper yourself and find another doctor that is truly interested in healing your body. You know what's normal for your body and what's not. ANYONE that fails to listen, politely thank them for their services and leave. You are worth more. You are a child of The Creator. Straighten up your crown and move forward... You will ALWAYS be ok.


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Thank you for your reply, it made laugh out loud and feel better. I told my mom that if I had been wearing pants (was under the paper sheet) when shr told me to change my diet I would have left. I am working on a specialist that I want to see and will continue to prepare to see my gp. I hope to ask to make sure my results (whatever they are) are seen by her because I really don't like that she has/will done this to someone else. I will be ok, thank you :)

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Hi, I live in the U.S. and I had a very similar situation last week while talking the nurse practitioner at my gynecologist office. I’ve always had severe periods, bad cramping. My regular gyne gave me the choice last year of surgery (didn’t specify what kind), the pill that you stay on year round or a Mirena coil. I went with the Mirena because I thought it would be good to keep hormones at a minimum at 41 years old. For about 6 months, I felt a lot better. But 5 months ago, I started have bad back and stomach cramps and spotting. After a CT scan, an ultrasound and a colonoscopy, they told me it was a strained muscle in my stomach. When it still didn’t improve, I called the nurse practitioner and asked if it could be endo. She said she didn’t understand why I would think that and I’ve never been diagnosed with endo so it wouldn’t make sense. It was an infuriating conversation. Why would I have to be diagnosed with endo before to get a diagnosis now?!

Anyway, I do empathize with your situation. I’m trying to work up the nerve to contact the regular gynecologist.

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Thank you for your reply, it is amazing how we can be confident intelligent women and be taken down so fast by a healthcare provider. I hope you call or see someone else if possible because it will help get ypur nerve back. Same infuriating feeling for me, ok so you dont think its gynacological but you dont want to give me any advice medication or referrals..? I really just will hopefully never have to see her agian and my gp, who suggested endo without even hearig half my symptoms,will work with me. I feel that I am not just pursuing this for me but other women in my area seeing the same doctors, and even women everywhere. Gynacological or not we should be taken seriously and not have to be in pain.


I'm so sorry you're not getting the help you need. Hearing how you were treated makes me so mad! I wish I could knock some sense into them for you! Maybe you should start looking for clinics that don't require your parent's consent to see you. I don't know if you have those there, but it's worth a try.

Don't give up. Be vigilant about being heard and taken seriously! I know that it's stressful, but it will eventually pay off.

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Thank you for your reply, thats the same thing my mom said lol. Shes is joking about going with me and be like "listen to her!". Sorry if all the mom talk made you think I am young, I am 25 so no consent needed, my mom is just someone to complain too :) Sometime soon I hope for it to pay off.


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