Endometriosis UK
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Lap recovery and endometriosis shows you who your real friends are?

Is it me or does this whole thing show peoples true colours had surgery was in hospital and not even a message or how are you doing from some ‘friends’ or if you are out of the loop for a while you don’t hear from them as you’re at home recovery.

Makes me sad and angry but I imagine I’m not the first

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You're not alone, I had the same happen, only a select few friends wished me luck before, asked how I was after and met up while I was recovering.

One friend actually just had her diagnostic lap before I was going in for my diagnostic and removal of endo, I was messaging her literially as I was recovering in hospital letting her know how I'm feeling - endo sisters and all that - then a week later, nothing, I even wished her luck for her removal of endo lap a month or so later, as she'd mentioned the date, still nothing. Oh well it seems some people don't care endo or not; they just focus on their lives.

As sad as it is, if people don't want to talk to you now and you're making this a new you, a new start, a better you, just leave them be; if they weren't there when you needed them then that's how they'll always be. I know it sounds horrible - "be around people that bring you joy" - "The biggest mistake in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve" some inspirational quotes. Perhaps give people one more chance, just message, say "hey, I had my op, recovery is hard going, want to meet up?" Basically you're saying "I need you to be here for me", and you're not specifying when so they can plan and get back to you. If they don't respond or say they're busy then you know where you stand. Some people want to be just colleagues you have a cup of tea with and talk the world, discuss ideas, and others will be there for each other emotionally.

We're here :)

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It’s true about the rebirth feeling and new you thing, I feel that way as this disease has stopped me doing so much for so long.. and this recovery is also stopping me doing what I want to do...

It is strange how because you aren’t in the loop you become a bit forgotten about in a way.. not in the loop and you are just stuck recovering and therefore maybe not seen as approachable?

Like my life is on hold whilst I recover but everyone else’s is on the move still... it’s a strange feeling but I noticed from me being ill and my ops people do act differently.. I’ve had some wish me well and check in with me and others I think they think it takes a day to recover

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100%, I haven't even had my lap yet and already people are really starting to drop off...it's really sad. But like farahziya says, we're here :) and hopefully it will just reveal who your true friends are xx

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Hey. Yes totally understand this. I'm 4 weeks post op and really saw peoples true colours. Totally understand people have busy lifes but a quick test post op isnt much to ask. Its quality over quantity for me...luckily i have a few good friends who are really understanding. Just look at it as at least now u know who to not waste time trying with xx

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Hi Sorry that you feel let down, some people just can't handle what you are going through. It's tough but true friends will step up when needed however there is still value in those that are more 'fair weather' friends, just realise that's where they sit in your life.

Also, they may not even realise how isolating surgery can be if they have never experienced anything like it/ some people are embarrassed to be getting on with their lives while you are going through this.

I'm 47 and it still surprises me who steps in and who steps back when support is needed. Even family!

Hope you start to feel better soon M x

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All I keep getting of people is ur going to be okey in the end so sad no one understands

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Endometriosis has changed me so much over time I'm so different I'm always moody in pain don't laff much or so tired don't do half the things I yoused to-do

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Ur not alone u got this site if u won't to talk

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Yes..... take it as a blessing in disguise, you learn who your real friends are and can keep them close forever :) the others don't deserve your friendship if they can't make the effort in your time of need xxx all the best with your recovery

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I'm so sorry that u feel this way

But true friends will always b there . Sometimes people also get confused whether or not to disturb you . Maybe u might get offended. But yes you'll realise in these hard times who are ur true friends

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I find that people have no sympathy they just see it as having bad period pains or they get fed up of you saying your in pain all the time or they think they know what its like when they dont or they will say they know someone who has it who isnt that bad so they cant imagine you could be that bad like its not a big deal despite the fact its life changing i think there needs to be a lot more awareness of it so people understand the impact it has on peoples lifes i read on instagram yesterday who had it so bad on her colon she had to have a colostomy bag and another who had kidney failure caused by endo blocking it people dont realise how serious it can get

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It’s so true!!!

I think many people now think I am cured forever 😂😂

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Ive lost count how many people ask me if im better like all fixed now ive had my lap im like no and they look at me suprised well if you knew about it like you say you do you wouldnt be suprised

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I know, it's crazy, they think the surgery will just fix it - sooo annoys me the "but you're all better now aren't you?" and you're like "err no" and just don't want to talk to them!!

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It’s a lot of misunderstanding as well as ignorance really. I guess mentally it seems if you remove something it must be gone.. they don’t get how it works. I know for sure people are sick of me moaning about everything lol

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Same I know people or sick of me saying I'm so ill or I'm so tired I now one thing they will never understand as like u say there ignoran as they not got it

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My mums friends knew more about my op than the people I consider my friends aka people I talk to now and again face to face 😮 I have a supportive family and group online I personally find people online care more than the people you meet in life 😮

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Definitely not the first, and don't be surprised if 'friends' come back into your life once you are able to go out and 'be fun again'

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I don't get invited to much places lol

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I had my lap and removal of endo September, I’m more wiped out than before but I think a general anaesthetic can impact you up to a year after so I’m not putting it all down to the endo plus I have a really demanding job so have reduced hours and am changing jobs. Tbh I didn’t tell many people about the op as limited understanding.

Think our endo bodies take longer to get over things, I’ve been ill loads since September.

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