Baby blues: Hi everyone, I was wondering if... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Baby blues


Hi everyone,

I was wondering if anyone else feels really low around babies? Or is it just me?

I have had endometriosis for 14 years now and I have always wanted children but it never really crossed my mind as my partner and I were in a long distance relationship - I moved my life up to Scotland from London in December. My problem started when I had my first appointment up here and my heart literally shattered when my new consultant shared with me the reality of me conceiving a child (it was a very low percentage).

The previous week, my partners sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, so the doctors timing was perfect! The unfortunate thing is now whenever I go and see her I always feel a tinge of sadness as I know that this may never be my partner and I. I see the way he looks at her and it just breaks my heart. I love the little one but I can't help these feelings.

I have had multiple breakdowns over babies since the appointment and I know he can see how much I am hurting, but doesn't say much as he has told me that he doesn't know what to say. I now feel like it is easier to keep my feelings to myself as I know he will feel bad when I tell him that I feel sad whenever I see his niece.

Has anyone else had experiences/feelings like this? If so I would welcome your advice on how you dealt with your emotions.


9 Replies

I feel very much the same. I’m 43 in June and didn’t realise how much I wanted to be a mum until it was all too late seemingly.

Im waiting for a lap now to investigate and remove one Fallopian tube and that’s making me feel sad too

Life doesn’t always go to plan but it hurts like hell I feel your pain and wish I had advice to make it better. Lots of love to you xxx

Hi lovely, many of us over on the fertility uk page know exactly how you feel. Is it possible that you could start trying for a baby? A low chance is still a chance? Would you be able to have a go at any assisted conception such as ivf? I had a very low chance of successful pregnancy (different reasons to you) but I’ve just conceived on my third round of ivf, my hubbie just kept reminding me that a low chance is still a chance.

Hi Lizzie, can I ask what fertility UK page you’re referring to please? I’d love to join and talk more about these things... :)

Search the communities on HealthUnlocked and you will find one called fertility uk x

I totally get what you feel. I also didn’t realise how much I wanted to have children until I was told that I wouldn’t be able to 3 years ago (even with ivf it was a no go) and so now with all my friends having babies I have to bite my tongue when I am around them. I would say it’s a form of depression tbh or grief but only people who have not had children can understand what and how we feel. Am fed up with ‘helpful’ friends saying things like at least you can go on holiday when you like and you get a good nights sleep. They obviously don’t understand what having Endo is like!! Pregnant friends seem to be offended if I don’t want to feel their bump.

I feel for you and hope it gets better for you xxx

Alarna in reply to Katyanna

I don't think anybody understands or ever will

Hello you're not alone I also get very very sad when I'm around a new baby or find out that someone's having a new baby I get quite jealous inside but keep it to my self and me happy for them but deep down I feel emotionally hurt and let down that ill ever be able to have a baby

Oh Hun, I feel the same. I went to a baby shower last year and still remember how embarrassing it was to be crying on the way home (on public transport no less!) On a train on my own. Its been horrible.

Pregnant people everywhere (although I dont know their story... They may have struggled too). People at work comparing toddler complaints or first steps stories... Everyone is pregnant. Everyone. There are babies everywhere, even the fucking Lidl catalogue has babies all over it.

Once you have it in your mind there is no escaping it.

I hope you are ok and have a good bunch of friends around you so you can have a big moan and let it all out. Sorry for my language! I'm at the angry stage I guess? But I struggle too. Colleagues bringing their babies to work while they're on mat leave or people having to swap shifts as their child has a sports day or play etc. Family life and babies are everywhere. You're allowed to be upset.

Sorry this message is horrible. I'm struggling a bit at the moment.

Best of luck to you, I hope you feel better soon. Sorry this message isn't helpful at All! But know there are lots of us out there xx

Hi guys,I'm the same. 5 of my best friends are pregnant and I'm the only one who isn't. One of them having twins and they are always asking why u not trying n I should try and join them,I just smile n say nothing because we have been trying for 3 years with no luck. I don't even kno how I'm gonna be feeling when they all give birth in June and some in July 😢It's tough but I'm happy for them.

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