PGCE then baby or baby then PGCE?

Hello. I am 22 and in my final year at uni. I will graduate in june 2016. I have endo and have had heavy periods along with many other symptoms since i was 13. I had a miscarriage this time last year and have struggled ever since. All i think about is babies and whether that was my last chance to have them. I dont think my broodiness is helped by the fact that doctors have been telling me to have a baby to help things since i was 15! So me and my bf have been talking about having a baby sooner than we'd originally planned. We were thinking after March this year. This gives us both time to make sure our bodies are a bit healthier than they are now. However this means putting my PGCE on hold as I'd have to take time off in my PGCE to have the baby. This doesn't really bother me. I have a job and worked out that even with my current hours I alone could raise the baby whilst paying rent etc. To me being a mum is much more important than anything else. My bf doesn't agree. he said that he wouldnt like to be with someone who just worked in a shop. I would wait until after pgce but you have to take into account the actual pgce, nqt year, a year settling into your job so realistically thats 4 years! I dont want to miss my chance of being a mum

Any advice? Any of you done a pgce or had to choose between kids or a job/ education?

Thanks x

9 Replies

  • Hi - I think you need to consider what your plans would be if you didn't have endo and I'm guessing that you would be doing your PGCE then hoping to get a good job and starting a family in the usual way when it felt right for both of you. These things must always be a very personal shared decision and I do think you have to be careful not to inadvertently set up opportunities for resentments in the future on either side. You are very young, many women with endo have children and you may not necessarily conceive to plan next year. What is most relevant is what is being done about your endo. Are you being treated in a specialist endo centre where they will not only look at excising all your endo but also at preserving your fertility. There is no reason to think that you will be more likely to conceive next year than say in 4 years time at age 26. It really does depend on whether you are getting the right treatment and unfortunately a GP is usually not the best to advise. I think you are understandably confused and feel there is a clock ticking with regard to your chances of having a baby but this really is not necessarily the case if you ensure that you get your endo treated properly. At your age it might be a bit premature to think of it as being a choice between a baby and an education/job and perhaps should focus more on doing all you can to achieve both. You don't say what the situation is with your endo or whether you at has been trying for a long time to get pregnant without success. There are many reasons for infertility and not all are related to endo - around 70 of women with endo can achieve pregnancies and the chances can be greatly enhanced with proper surgery whether you are 22, 26 or older. Have a look at these publications which you might find helpful.


    file:///C:/Users/Owner/Downloads/ESHRE%20ENDOMETRIOSIS%20GUIDELINE_Patient%20version_FINAL.pdf patient version section 7

    I think you should perhaps try and step back and think about whether your desire to have babies now is because you really want them now or because you think you won't be able to have them later on. Pregnancy doesn't cure endo and it will come back after so proper treatment now is really the way to go. I would suggest you see a specialist in the condition for investigations and optimum treatment to maximise your fertility and perhaps give you reassurance that you can wait a few years. x

  • Hi, I was only diagnosed October 2015 with endo after I started trying for a baby 3 years ago. I'm a trained primary teacher but currently working as a TA (long story) but I've put off getting a teaching job for various reasons including not wanting to start a new job then get pregnant. I never thought it would take this long (I'm still not pregnant) and obv didn't know I had endo until I came off pill and symptoms started. My advice would be to live in the moment, don't put your life on hold whilst you wait to have a baby. I regret this- I could have been teaching for the past 3 years! You don't know how long it will take you to get pregnant, I hope you don't have any problems but it doesn't always happen straight away. I understand how you desperately want children, me too, but trying to conceive can take over your life and it's not always healthy. Xx

  • I had my eldest in my 3rd of uni having had a miscarriage in my 2nd year. I went straight on to do my PGCE , it wasn't easy but it is doable! Ultimately it 's whatever is right for you and your partner.

  • You can do the pgce part time. It depends how severe your endo is and where it is x

  • I am in exactly the same position! I'm 21 and also just finishing my degree this year then planning to do my PGCE. Do whatever you feel is right, depending on what areas you live in you don't have to complete the PGCE then NQT, I know someone who is doing a NQT whilst in her first teaching job and shes doing brilliantly!

    You can also do it as an open university course so instead of taking 1 year to study you can spread it over 2 or 3 which would work if you did fall pregnant.

    Good luck xxx

  • I'm an English teacher and have just returned to teaching after taking 12 months off due to endo. Moreover, due to the condition restricted to females many heads do not fully understand the symptoms. I was told to return or I would get the sack (3 weeks post-op).

    The truth is: teaching is hard and demanding. I know several colleagues who have quit teaching to spend more time with their family. It is extremely stressful and most teachers spend their "free time" planning and marking.

    Five years ago I would say do it, but now I'd suggest looking at other career paths.

    However, if it is something that you truly want to do, and have your heart set on it: go for it!

    I wish you all the luck, and if you need any help, feel free to contact me :)

  • Why would your doctor tell you to have a baby to help things, especially from when you're 15?! Having a baby doesn't cure endo. I would go to your GP and ask to see an endo specialist and get treated for your endo, as excision of endo helps fertility. I was kind of the same as you and was desperate to have babies earlier than I would if I didn't have endo because my GP was misinformed, but luckily I have a very good surgeon who made me feel like there was less of a clock ticking, and who told me that my endo would be easily excised and then I would be as fertile as anyone else, and I wouldn't be in pain after the excision. I don't think there's a rush for you to have a baby, but it's your life so do what you want with it! Also I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Good luck xxx

  • I am 26, have taught in a secondary school for 4 years and am currently engaged to be married in the Summer. I was diagnosed with endo 3 years ago, was given a laporoscopy followed by the prostrap injection and am now on the pill back to back. Although the thought of motherhood and pregnancy has been running through my mind over the past few years, I have decided to start trying once we are married. Teaching is a very demanding job and I agree you should give yourself a couple of years experience before adding a baby to the mix too.

    It's a completely personal decision but for me I have always wanted to teach and now I earn enough money that would enable me to give my children a financially secure upbringing or alternatively potentially pay for IVF.

    Above all, talk it through with your partner and make the decision together, it's a tough one but you must do what is right for you both.

    Take care! Xx

  • hello. thank you all for your replies. If i didnt have endo, i still would have wanted kids young and i was kind of expecting to be trying by now in my long term plans. My boyfriend keeps flitting between trying and not trying for babies.

    I have spoken to doctors and each one says a different thing. Gynaecologists dont deem me as high risk or urgent as i'm not having as many symptoms as i used to so therefore just laugh me out of the building. Being young, going through this and having no family support is tough!

    I am still applying for uni so I guess we will see what happens. I havent started an contraception so guess ill let nature takes its course

    Thanks again for all your comments and honesty, I really appreciate it :-)

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