(Sorry in advance TMI post) Painful Sex - Who do I ask for help & what exactly do I ask for? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Endoproblems]

I’m 30 years old and have had very limited sexual experiences. I am in a long term relationship and we can’t have sex because it’s too painful for me and I become sick afterwards. I was diagnosed with endometriosis 5 years ago after suffering with symptoms since my teens, I’ve had two laparoscopic surgeries and tried every treatment available, multiple times and found no relief from anything so I’m currently only taking anti sickness medication & pain relief.I have mentioned how painful intercourse is to multiple doctors and because of how reluctant they are to discuss it it makes me feel less confident in persisting with the conversation, they kind of (I’m sure, unintentionally) make me feel embarrassed about it.

I really want to try for a baby but at the moment it’s just not possible, I literally cry with the pain and we have to stop then I bleed for over a week afterwards, I’m so sore, I can’t even urinate without grimacing with the pain and I just feel really run down, fatigued and nauseous.

I had a routine smear test last year and I was told I had a small ectopy on my cervix but that it wasn’t a cause for concern however I’ve read that that could cause bleeding after sex so I don’t know if having that treated may help?

I feel so lost & don’t know who to ask for help on this subject, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear this.

This definitely sounds endo related and oh my goodness it needs sorting! If you're thinking about another baby, the hormonal treatments for endo would probably not be the best choice as they are mostly contraceptives.

I would speak to my GP (ideally a lady as they deal with this much more often) and tell them you would like another baby but sex too painful, therefore would like a referral. Don't forget to mention the bladder problems - tell them you're worried this might be related to endo too.

It might also be worth taking a close friend with you if it makes you feel more confident in discussing things (or less likely to wimp out, as I have done many times!)

Look up your local BSGE centre beforehand so you can request for the GP to send you there - I personally found them much better than general gynaes in another hospital.

This is not something you have to suffer with in silence. You deserve proper treatment and shouldn't be in pain like this.

Look after yourself and I hope things work out for you.

[Starry]

Do you know where the Endo was found in your previous surgeries and were you treated in a bsge endo centre. If not do make sure you go to one this time as a refractory case where endo has returned.

I had deep recto vaginal endo and both bladder issues and longstanding dyspareunia were key symptoms.

Good luck xx