Maybe TMI? But I need to ask.: Hey again... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK
49,359 members41,049 posts

Maybe TMI? But I need to ask.


Hey again!

I’ve been putting off asking this question but think I’m just gunna bite the bullet.

When endo sufferers say that sex hurts them, what kind of pain is it?

I ask because in my experience, I feel like I haven’t even officially “done it”. It’s like I know it’s going places, and it’s always lovely and fun, but I’m a little like “I think it’s where it needs to be?”

So embarrassing, but I feel I’m in the right place to ask.

I have been married for 6 years so it’s not like I’ve only done it a few times.

Any help?

14 Replies

I don’t think I understand your question- when you say “where it is supposed to be” or “done it” — are you referring to where the pain should be?

Laura2012 in reply to JulietteSF

It was a bit vague, but then I’m a bit of a prude. Lol.

I never feel like my husband is where he should be. When I adjust position, it then hurts. Any better?

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Laura2012 in reply to Hidden

Just me gabbling on I think. Lol. Sometimes it’s just so hard to explain. Obv I know things have happened, it’s just when it hurts that much, I feel like i havent done it right. To be fair, it’s not that difficult to get right I suppose haha. But it’s just not nice when the pain kicks in cuz I start thinking “have I done something wrong?”

Thanks for your help tho. Nice to know there’s a place to get these annoying questions answered.


Hi Laura, me again. Just wanted to high five you on this one... not easy to explain but I totally get you!

To answer your question on pain, I have had pain on intercourse for YEARS, first went to to doctors when I was 21 (diagnosed with endo at 34!) feels like a sharp stabbing pain on deep penetration. I actually sometimes got it when I put a tampon in. This worried me at such a young age and I had the usual smears and tests for STIs etc but nothing came of it so again sent away with no answers. The pain felt like something was being hit deep inside. Turns out I had a nodule there that has now been removed!!! The pain is definitely less now.

Also just wanted to say that I feel the same most of the time during intercourse. I mean, it’s definitely in there but it doesn’t quite feel right? I have had very enjoyable sex in the past so it does confuse me. It’s not that’s it’s not enjoyable but maybe it’s a case of relaxing more. For me I worry I’m going to feel the stabbing pain so I know I need to relax more.

Anyway, another essay but hope it helps or makes you smile :-)

Laura2012 in reply to Endo_This

Are we twins?!? Lol! The only difference in both of your post is our ages! Lol. (I’m 30 in August.) thank you so much for replying. You really have helped! My symptoms (re: your reply to other post) are the same. Exactly the same.

I’m so glad I found this place! X

Laura2012 in reply to Endo_This

Also, I forgot to say the most important part...

I was diagnosed with Generalised anxiety disorder 2 years ago.

I went thru CBT because it had got so bad. It definitely helped - I even have a lovely little graph to show my progress and my anxiety and depression symptoms decreasing over a 3 or 4 month period.

Recently, though, the “possible endo symptoms” have made me feel so depressed and anxious again.

When you said you suffered with anxiety at the end of your post, I almost did a little weep. It was like the nail in the coffin as regards symptoms I’m having.

Thanks again! X

Endo_This in reply to Laura2012

Ah, we do give ourselves a hard time don’t we! Is it any surprise with chronic pain that we feel anxious. My health anxiety spiralled out of control which obviously didn’t help with the pelvic pain but I felt so lost and doctors wouldn’t listen to me.

I have had CBT too, over 10 years ago. It changed my life in a massive way as I was in a bad place after losing a friend. The symptoms of endo are so different for everybody so it is always comforting to hear from somebody who genuinely understands some of how you’ve been feeling. Try to remember what you learnt from your CBT and practice that to help with the symptoms. I was so anxious and upset all the time that every muscle in my body was tense, probably why I was so tired and achy all the time ... I have fingers, toes and eyes crossed that you get a diagnosis or some help soon! X

7yrs ago i started feeling like i was being ripped from inside. Afterwards id bleed n have cramp for a few days then id b ok untill the next time.

After lap i was great but always scared incase it did happen again which sadly 2yrs later it began again...

Now new partner (my husband left me bcos of all this thats another story)

The pain is more a feeling up my back end like my insides are gonna fall out n cramp after sometimes spotting. Not as painful like before where i cud feel ripping but equally as bad currently sitting on loo with horrible cramp bcos of sex...

Laura2012 in reply to wabbit

Ah man! That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Really hope it goes away. Sending hugs x

Not always but sometimes after sex I get period like cramps and have had spotting, even digestive distress. My theory is that things were kind of stirred up in there so now it needs to do something about it... if that makes sense. I have also had a pain like as if my cervix is being hit and then it hurts inside. I do not get this all the time but have been sexually active for 8 years and would say this stuff has only been in the last 3 years maybe. I find it sad because I used to have absolutely no discomfort during or after sex and now I cant be sure that I will be ok.

Hi Laura,

I think I know what you’re saying here and for me there’s different positions which hurt more than others (none feel great for me unfortunately!).

For me, sex feels like a knife is inside of me, it just feels so wrong and hurts so much so sometimes I avoid having it if I know I need to be doing something that day or the day after.

After sex I’ve always bled, had painful cramps after and basically tried to sleep the pain off but these symptoms have always improved after a laparoscopy.

I’ve found that when I’ve had physical examinations one side always hurts a lot more than the other which can help knowing what to avoid during sex.

Maybe ask your doctor what they suggest because I assure you that it wouldn’t be the first time someone has asked!

Hope some of that makes sense?


i get it like straight after and then i can get it the day or two after and feel like my tummy is swollen for the next day or so.

You may also like...