Endometriosis UK
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do i go to my lap alone??? did you take someone?

Hi

Been told my lap will be January time. I was told i need a responsible adult to drive me home... just wondering though.. can i go myself and just be picked up when needing to go home or should someone be with me the whole time? also will i be well enough after lap to call someone to come collect me? I am a single parent, dont have contact with my family and 90% of my friends work fulltime so i need to figure out how this is all gonna work... !! How did it work for you? x

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Hi!

I had my op last year, I didn't want go take anyone with me as I knew I'd work myself up more. My boyfriend dropped me off and they contacted him as soon as I was awake to come be with me. As long as you give a contact number for someone to pick you up it's usually okay.

Good luck with your surgery xx

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Hi

That sounds great... wasnt sure if they would contact someone on my behalf. Thank you!! So how are things for you a year on from surgery then? xx

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Yeah they will contact for you 😊 you fill out a form before you go through to the ward and you have to give contact info of someone who's collecting you ect..

I was put onto the zoladex injection so I was in an induced menopause to help with the pain. But now I'm off that (it was horrific, especially as I'm only 23), my symptoms have been bad, Im having an mri next week to see if anything else is going/ if the endo has spread. Just feels like it's one thing after another all the time.

Good luck with your surgery, keep us updated on how it goes xx

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Hiya

When I had my lap in May, my partner dropped me off and I called him when I was ready to be picked up. Make sure you take some magazines, phone, phone charger etc with you as you could be waiting a little while before your lap. And afterwards, it's nice to be able to be in contact to send a text to friends/family for support.

I'm thinking of when you get home, everyone's recovery is different, however you will need to rest for a few days. If you can get a hand with a few things then great. However if not, just get extra prepared for when you get home. House cleaned, washing done, bed cleanly made, food shopping done, everything handy by the side of your bed, meals cooked in advance/packet meals in the fridge. Just so that you can max out your resting afterwards.

Also, I know this may sound a little silly, however I remember thinking that I wish I'd done some arm weights on the lead up to my lap to make my arms stronger. It was a little tricky to sit up in bed and a strong pair of arms would've been handy :)

Hope this helps xx

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Hey there, I was very lucky as a had my partner to hand so I feel for you.

My memory of coming round was that the nurses dealt quickly with any pain, nausea etc. The dr came round an hour+ later (depends where you're scheduled in the day I guess) and told me my results. I was very drowsy and the nurse told me that if I didn't pick up they'd keep me in over night, so I got to it. They'll want to see that you can walk, the pain/discomfort is manageable, that you'll eat and drink and most importantly pee a certain volume. Once you've completed those tasks without issue, they set about discharging you and it can take up to an hour.

It would be beneficial if you can have a friend to stay with you night, at the least evening. You will probably be able to text a friend to suggest a collection time and of course the nursing staff are flexible on this with you. If you're still to drowsy and can't text, then the likilihood is that you'll best staying in a night- make sure to have this plan B sorted I guess.

With a friend or 2 to help with things you should manage, if you want to reduce work load for them you can prep what you will eat for 5 days post surgery, something that can just go in the microwave, etc. Recovery I remember as being quite boring to be honest, so maybe download a new boxset and get a book/s.

Anything else you want to know, let me know. x

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Thanks so much guys... you know something... i feel better about it all after reading your replies. I will take all your advice and tips! Thanks again.... where i lack in the family dept i make up for it in the friends dept so im sure they will all be on hand if/when needed! Now i just need them to find endo so i have the answers to the issues i have!!! thanks again... you truly are amazing people xx

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I'm taking my partner,

We are inseparable and I would panic if he wasn't there and he would panic if he wasn't with me!

I do worry that I'm going to get over worked and make him get even more upset but that's just what we're like anyway!

I would definitely take somebody with you and have them wait for you. Just so you have somebody there to comfort you when you wake up etc.

Plus it's always nice to see a friendly face when you're feeling like poop!

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My partner wasn’t allowed to stay he could only come on the ward afterwards during visiting time, and then when he picked me up. Just wanted to warn you!

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In my hospital he is allowed to wait with me in the little pre-surgery rooms when I arrive, he's there with me whilst they fit my needles and I get my gown etc on, then he's still with me whilst I wait to be told it's my turn; he comes down to the sleepy room and then he has to go entertain himself whilst I'm in theatre, then he's contacted when I'm in recovery and he can come down and sit with me.

I thought all hospitals allowed you to have your chosen support partner with you?

Wow that sucks if some don't; god I would be a nervous wreck if I couldn't take somebody!

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I second what Lizzie said - you might want to check if he’ll actually be allowed to stay as not all hospitals allow this. My mum dropped me off since my partner can’t drive yet, and she wasn’t even allowed past the reception into the waiting area

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Wow that's awful!

He's definitely allowed.

I just assumed this was standard for all hospitals when having surgery.

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I thought I’d hate the fact no one could come in but it actually worked out better for me. With the amount of Doctors coming to ask questions and everything, plus I was last in that day so I could speak with the other women in front of me if I wanted, I didn’t feel like it would have been worthwhile having someone there. The fact I also had my phone and magazines meant I could just act normal and do whatever so that my mind was kept occupied rather than inevitably talking about the surgery.

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Ahhh I understand, how did you manage to keep so calm?

Maybe it's because I suffer from anxiety so I get very worked up and anxious and fret about everything and anything.

Having somebody there with me, helps me to not feel alone and know that if anything happens I can give them my last instructions etc for the kids.

Gosh that sounds really morbid but I do prepare for the worst every time!

I suppose it's down to what each individual person prefers, and by the sounds of it; what the hospitals allow!

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I don’t really know how I managed it to be honest! I suffer from anxiety too but mine was worse in the few days leading up to the lap rather than on the day itself.

I think I just had to focus on the fact that I had two options: 1) decide I can’t go through with it but have no answers or help and be taken out the system, or 2) accept the fact that everything comes with a risk, but at least this way I also had a slim chance of someone finding something or being able to help me get rid of that awful pain. Thinking of the end goal got me through... I didn’t even have to accept the sedative they offered me. I just peed for Britain out of nerves while I was waiting.

If it’s the anaesthetic that’s bothering you the most (that’s what it was for me) then it’s definitely worth speaking to the anaesthetist when they come round to see you. My anaesthetist was lovely and he really put me at ease. I told him everything I was worried about or all the horror stories I had read about anaesthetics and he talked me through all of them.

Trying to at least act normal before it was a massive help too. Don’t get me wrong, I was still texting my family and my boyfriend about what was going on but just sitting reading a magazine or doing something on my phone let me try and pretend to myself that I wasn’t waiting for an op, I was just waiting for like the train home from work or whatever.

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I think it’s great they let him in. I could have done with more help after my lap, eg someone getting me a drink etc... basically a slave! The nurses are so busy it would have been good to have him there x

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Hi! With both of mine, I was extremely nauseated afterwards, it was the worst. Drowsy and in pain. Try to find someone, a work colleague even, just to take you home and put you into bed so you can sleeeeep!!!! Try and get someone to help with your kids, it’s an ask yes, but you will definitely need it.... it sucks but it is what it is with us endo sufferers unfortunately xx

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Yes you can just call someone and you should be fine to do that x

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In my experience, it would definitely be best if someone could stay with you when you got home, at least until the evening but best if overnight. My mum came and stayed with me and I was so grateful - at one point I overestimated things and fainted as I was clearly still getting over the anaesthetic! Whilst that probably won't happen, if someone is with you at least there's someone there to make sure you're ok.

I know it's a big ask, but you are going in for surgery and hopefully a close friend won't mind helping out just for one night whilst you get over the worst of it, especially if you've got children to look after! Good luck! Xxx

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Hiya, I think it depends on which hospital you go to. I wasn't allowed anyone to wait with me, and I stayed overnight. That was the next time I seen my partner.

I rang him myself to let him know I had come out of theatre and when I was being discharged. As part of discharge there was an agreement he would drive me home and be at home for 24hrs with me.

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I did it on my own. I wished I’d had someone there for emotional support, though.

If you need to do it on your own, have a friend on standby to collect you and ask them to bring a pillow for the car journey home. This will sit against your abdomen under the seat belt.

You won’t know how you feel until you’ve had the surgery. I stayed overnight but this was last minute due to my reaction to the anaesthetic. I got picked up the next day instead. While I was in there, I didn’t have anything arranged lift-wise. It wasn’t a nice feeling. But it’s doable.

Post surgery, you’ll need meals already prepared that you can microwave or pop into the oven with no fuss. You won’t want to stand around.

Avoid eggs and bananas until the constipation has lifted. Try Milk of Magnesia, psyllium husk, or aloe Vera tablets to reduce the wind and help move the bowels.

Good luck. x

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What’s a lap?

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I have had 3 surgeries - the first one my husband dropped me off at the hospital as it was local but for the second two I went to a bsge centre in London and travelled to the hospital on the train on my own on the morning of the surgery (half six commuter train after bowel prep!) because that was much easier for us in terms of child care and I wanted to keep things as normal as possible for my kids who were already frightened enough. You're an adult. Of course you can go to the hospital on your own if that's easier. Hospitals won't all allow someone to wait with you pre op anyway, it depends on their policy, and you can't have visitors in recovery. You will need someone to take you home, but if this is tricky, it might be worth having a talk with the hospital about it to see if there is anything they can do to help, and look at booking a taxi. I would recommend having someone to stay with you overnight if you are discharged on the same day as the surgery, or at least having someone who lives a few minutes away that you can call in an emergency.

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I went alone due to circumstances. We live abroad, and my husband had to take the day off work to stay home with our son. Therefore, I went to the hospital alone and went home afterwards alone. I caught a taxi both ways. It was fine.

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Hi,

I had my op last November ( in the uk) I had someone take me to the hospital (mainly because id never been into hospital before for anything other than an X-ray for a sprained ankle!) but once I had been checked in and admitted hubby wasn't allowed to come in with me (but waited with me in the waiting room for around an hour or so before I was called in) once I was called in I got changed at put my things in a locker then was sent to a waiting room with a number of other people waiting for similar surgery. once called down to theatre (by a very lovely assistant aneasthatist I might add) they did the op, woke up in recovery, once they were happy that I could go home (Eg I could keep food and water down and had peed) they called my husband for me asking him to come pick me up, during this time they gave me some meds to take home and post care instructions, then hubby came into the ward waiting room to collect me.

What I will say is once you're home listen to your body. If you push yourself too much too soon you'll just end up doing more damage then good. Prepare your home as much as you can before you go in (eg prepping meals before hand, getting cash out, making up bottle of squash, setting you sofa and bed up with blankets and pillows etc, making sure you have peppermint tea and any normal meds you take ready) - the more you have done before you go to the hospital the less you have to worry about when you come out and more you can rest.

on a side note make sure you take some comfy clothes to go home in, for example a nighty or vert loose pyjamas that don't sit on your abdomen :)

Im sure everything will go well for you :) xx

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I wasn’t allowed anyone in with me while I was waiting but see to be honest, I think it was best that way. There a lot of people that come and see you to check different things or ask questions, so I think there were only small gaps in between all those and then maybe an hour or so after the woman before me was taken in for her lap (I was last in that day) but I had magazines and my phone so didn’t even really notice the time. Not talking about it with someone also helped me keep my mind off it as much as you can while you’re sitting in a hospital gown and those lovely stockings lol.

I text my mum when I got up to the ward, but the nurse there offered to phone for me if I was unable to. People can also phone the ward for updates on you, my mum called quite a bit while I was down to see if I was back yet.

If you can, I would try and get someone to be there for the first while when you get home. I couldn’t actually get out of bed or up off the couch by myself at first so having some support there will be a massive help for you x

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I had mine in September and mine partner was with me the whole time until I was taken to to surgery. Basically from 7.30 until 11 pm he waited with me in a ward. Then, as soon as I was brought back after the lap, he was informed and let back in to be with me. Couldn’t do without him.

Saying that, there were ladies with friend/mum or just alone and they were perfectly happy too.

The hospital will but let you out on your own, but they’re usually pretty good, at least here, up north :)

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