Do I take hubby to my next appointment?

Hi, I have my follow up appointment next week to find out more about what was found during lap and find out what's next. So far I've always gone to appointments on my own and other than collecting me after lap I've just told hubby what was said each time.

He's not good with hospitals and I know he doesn't want to come but said he will if I want him to come. So obviously talking about blood clots and period issues may be too much info for him but on the other hand I don't think he really understands it all so maybe it would help if he hears from doctor rather than me! Also I was told my tubes need removing and so I need to ask about if IVF is an option too although I've read I may be too old to get NHS funding in my area so not hopeful! So I'm just wondering what you all do? I'm very undecided as to if he would understand it better as his last comment was that after next op to remove tubes ill be better, had to remind him I still have endo. He's very matter of fact that we won't have kids and although he knows its upset me not sure he really realises how much. Anyway any thoughts welcome! Thanks x

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  • Hi Lilyflower

    I'm undergoing treatment from my specialist for Endometriosis. Shutting down Ovaries with Zoladex injections. My hubby had to rush me in to hospital in oct last yr. where an 8cm cyst ruptured. Now have another of 7cm. I've already had a hysterectomy 20 yrs ago. So now they are going to remove cyst as well as ovaries.

    I really like having my hubby there, I do feel he can take in more of what the specialist is explaining and he asks questions too, . I thank him for this because we can chat about it after we have left the hospital and i do not feel alone at all through this :-)

    I feel allowing your hubby in with you, would help him understand exactly what is going on, which in turn may help you if you didn't catch all of what your specialist had said. So I feel it's beneficial to you both. I also feel it's very important that you both have a understanding to whats going on in case of further treatments. Hopefully this will help him over come his dislike to hospitals too.

    Hope this helped. :-)

  • I think he needs to go, I was the same with my hubby, he was supportive etc but don't think it sinks in until the doctor actually says it out loud....they are men after all ;0) hehe good luck with your results my luv x

  • Hi there, I'm only just recently married and had the endo a long time before I even met my husband so had been dealing with it for a while on my own with just my parents for support. When I first started seeing him I would drop off radar for a few days at a time when my endo got bad because I didn't want him to see me like that but eventually as we got more serious it became harder to hide it from him so we talked about it. He has been an amazing support to me ever since.

    There have been times (before we were married and living together) that he would cancel plans he had made so that he could stay with me when I was bad with it or staying overnight when he should have been going home so that if I needed anything in the night I wouldn't be on my own. Just two months before we got married I had another laparoscopy and he stayed with me to look after me afterwards and started coming to all of the follow up appointments with me.

    It is his belief that my pain is his pain and if I am struggling he wants to try to sort it out for me and make things as easy for me as possible. I find that if I am at the doctor on my own I will only hear part of what they are saying and go away even more confused than I was in the first place but with hubby there I know that he is listening and taking things in too so we are more likely to have a fuller picture. I also think that endo has such a huge effect on me i.e. pain, low mood, exhaustion etc that it obviously affects him and his life too so it is good for him to know exactly what the doctors are saying so we can face it together rather than it coming between us. I hope that this helps you to come to a decision about whether to take your husband along. Maybe he needs to hear it like it is from a third person who is impartial so that he will see how severe endo can be, that you are not exaggerating and give him some insight into how you are feeling. Good luck.x

  • My husband is the same, not good with hospitals or the "womens stuff" but he has been amazingly supportive coming with me to appointments and it has really helped with him being a part of things, especially around the fertility side of things and helped his understanding. It's also good for me to have another pair of ears and sometimes a different perspective on things. The last appointment I went on my own and afterwards ended up in a bit of a state, crying down the phone to my husband. He will definately be coming with me next time!!

  • Hi thanks to you all for your advice I've been going on my own but now I have diagnosis I think ill encourage him to come and from what you've all said maybe this is what he needs to hear as I do put a brave face on a lot and hearing it straight from doctor hopefully he will understand more. After my lap I just cried on him when I was trying to explain ! Thankyou for reasuring me its a good idea, and I guess he's just going to have to deal with hospitals now I know ill need another op too!

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