Ended up off work again.. any tips on explaining to management?

[JadeH92]

Hello everyone again,

I ended up off work again this week, which means I am going to be in a lot of trouble when I go back in tomorrow (still not 100% so actually debating it, but feel like a failure when I let endo control my life).

I always end up crying and getting emotional when talking to people about my illness when I am really unwell and then on the other hand when I am just having a mild/moderate pain day; because it is habit to say yeah I'm okay I tend to play the condition down.

Any tips on how I can explain to my management tomorrow how I have been ect.

Thanks in advance!

Holl x

[Loulou857]

Hello Holl92, yes it’s a difficult one isn’t it. But I’ve always found that being completely up front about my condition has helped. I shout from the rooftops about it to be honest, all of my colleagues know! My manager is very understanding. My sickness levels are not good, I may be facing another disciplinary (had one in the past thanks to all the time off from endo problems), I’ve asked my manager to refer me to occupational health, I want to discuss with them about how chronic the condition is - and therefore should be considered as a chronic disease, so all future sickness down to endo should be discounted (to some extent, like you can’t take the Mick 😂). So my advice would be to be honest with your manager and your colleagues, have that difficult conversation with them, it gets easier.xx

[JackieBo in reply to Loulou857]

Hey girls,

My job referred me to Occupational Health on their own, which your employer should be doing also. Ask them if they haven't offered. You have the right to an Occupational Health consultation. The doctor is supposed to act as a third party that can advise your employer on how they can best meet their own expectations while considering your ongoing health issue.

After mine, my work put me down to half days, so four hour shifts max, to help with my chronic fatigue and general pain levels. It worked pretty well for a few months! I felt better and had more energy and my pain levels were lower as I was better rested.

Unfortunately, that help stopped working a few months later. I've been signed off of work for 6 weeks right now. I'm still waiting for my first diagnostic lap, which is supposed to be in early December. (Only taken me a year to get to this point! 😜)

I don't know what's going to happen in my employment future. My manager told me that he was fairly sure I could only be signed off for three months before I'd be let go as they have kept me in probation since I started almost a year ago since I began to have sick days about two months into my employment there. Kinda sucks, a lot, but I don't know what I can do about it at this point. I just need to get to the lap. Just keep swimming. 🐠

Holl, try not to beat yourself up too badly. If there is one thing 2017 has taught me, it's to be kinder to myself. When my absences started climbing earlier this year, I was so hard on myself, forcing myself to just suck it up and get on with it way more than I should. In hindsight, doing that made my pain levels worse because the more run down we are, the stronger the symptoms seem to be, at least for me. Maybe it isn't that way for everyone, but, either way, we have got to allow ourselves to be human.

One of my GP's just kindly chewed me out last month about how I have got to lower my threshold for what I consider to be "too much pain" for pushing through. She said I had been hurting myself more by not allowing myself to rest when by body needed to focus on what was happening inside. The smarty pants is probably right. 😉

It's hard when no one can see what's hurting us. We feel like we have to pretend everything is fine, I'm fine, just fine.... that crap is exhausting.

Pursue an OH appointment through your employer. That will help them to see, in words they can understand, how this awful thing affects your ability to function since it isn't visible to the naked eye. Be kind to yourself and put yourself first. Don't let guilt push you harder than you need. Hang in there, you're not alone. ❤️

[JadeH92]

Thank you LouLou857 and JackieBo for both taking the time to reply and for you advice.

LouLou I think your right honesty is the best policy but I find it hard to explain how bad it is because i don't want pitty or people to think I'm being mard. I have thought about putting together a leaflet in the past yo give to employers that does the talking for us (it would also stop us from repeating ourselves so often) 😂.

JackieBo, thank you soo much for all your advice and words of wisdom about being hard on ourselves you have hit the nail on the head.. I have 100% been putting up with it for too long and not listening to my body this time around.

Thanks again girls!

Take care, Holl xx