Pain when intimate

Hey guys, I will apologise if this is a bit graphic but basically I have endometriosis and IBS and when my partner and me get intimate it really hurts me. I hate to tell him how much it hurts.. But the other day we tried and it didn't hurt at all it was such a relief, but since then it has hurt again. It is really upsetting because I can't enjoy it and it would break my heart if he found out how much pain I'm in. Just wondering if anyone is going through the same thing or if anyone has any advice. Again I'm sorry TMI.

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  • This is common in people with endometriosis. Are you under a gynae consultant and waiting for treatment? If not go see your GP and hopefully they will make the right referrals to get you some treatment and relief. But, in the meantime I would strongly recommend you sit down with your partner and have a very open and honest conversation. I know it is difficult, but your partner can't help you if he doesn't understand, and it will end up making your relationship difficult. My parter is very supportive, and would hate the thought of hurting me in any way, and would do anything to help me get better. Take your partner along to gynae appointments, let him be involved, hopefully he will be supportive, and this will make your relationship stronger in the longer term. Good luck.

  • Aw thankyou! Yeah I am under one I have had 2 laproscops and steroid injections, waiting to be referred for another op. Thankyou will do, may help him understand a bit more

  • Hi serencatrin, pain with sex is indicative of recto vaginal endometriosis and as such must only be treated by a bsge accredited specialist.

    A really tough conversation to have. But if you can find the words it will help you both in the long run x

  • Thankyou, I will sit him down I think, it seems to be annoying him a little so it's best he knows how I feel, I'm not very good with conversations like this πŸ™ˆ thankyou!

  • Hey ! Intimacy is a tough one with endometriosis. Sitting with your partner and explaining why it hurts you may be a good idea. Maybe highlight as well things that you enjoy and that don't hurt you if there are some and explain what exactly hurts you (eg penetration etc.). Discussing how you perceive intimacy as well is helpful.

    Also, you could talk to your gyne about the pain who may ask where they are located and when they happen. They are really common for women with endo however i know some women that don't get them at some point in their cycle and know which practices they are comfortable with according to the pain they feel (I wish i knew as much on my body !). The most important is that you don't hurt yourself by trying to please, I think. A gyne may have advices ! Can bring your partner if he doesn't understand your pain.

    Good luck to you !

    xx Emma

  • Aw thankyou So much!

  • Funny enough this was never a problem for me, until after my surgery, now it hurts like hell. I've also been suffering from severe constipation too .. Me and my partner don't have sex often atm and I'm off to see a gastro guy today hoping to God he can fix the issue. Can't really blame endo as I had it already removed in December, unless it's back in three months. Just keep on at Drs.

  • I suffer bad with constipation too which is down to my IBS. I hope the gyne goes well for you and I hope you get the answers you are looking for. Thanks for replying and good luck!

  • Have you had your ibs fully investigated and other stuff ruled out!? IBD, food intollerance, ceiliac ect .. That's what I'm doing. I'm still under gynea for endo but seeing a colorectal surgeon today. My endo surgery has actually made me worse, for some unknown reason .. It's an avenue to try! Good luck and hope they sort it.

  • I did seem to get worse after my lap to be honest, it never hurt so much before. Yeah I got diagnosed with it about 2 years ago, they thought the pain I was getting at the time was my appendix so they took it out and that's when they found the endometriosis. I had an op last summer and they removed a lot of it. I then got diagnosed with IBS after that a few months down the line but haven't seen a specialist regarding the IBS. They have tried me with steroid injections but that hasn't made anything better so another op is on the cards now. I'll go to the doctors I think and just explain all of this.. see what they recommend.

  • Thats it, keep on at them .. Its not a way to live .. Youll probably have to keep going back and back. Drinking plenty of apple juice a day has helped my constipation, treating that has eased some of the discomfort and sickness, it's not cured me, but made me feel a bit better. Do you pee during night too!? I bloat up so big I've to pee during night like I'm pregnant. It's no wonder we feel so bad, cuz if our bladder is being squashed, so are our female organs and because they're diseases, it's no wonder they hurt. I think trying to get on top of the 'IBS'/constipation or whatever it is is a good starting point. But definitely talk to your Dr and if that fails just keep going back. Good luck

  • O god a pee loads! Atleast once through the night, it horrible isn't it! And yeah I've been advised with lots of fruit and juice. I'm under physio under urology to try and control some of the pain but haven't noticed that's working yet. Thankyou so much for sharing with me and I hope all goes well.

  • Same with you! I understand and I'm sure your partner will too if you're open and honest. I do other things to satisfy my partner most of the time and it is hard cuz he actually did think I'd gone off him until I explained that the pain and discomfort I'm in is ridiculous! Now he understands and I'm sure your partner will do too! Good luck!

  • Aw I'm glad things sorted out, I've wrote him a letter because I'm not good at talking and I know I'll put everything I need to say in the letter πŸ˜‚ I guess there are other ways around it

  • I put some jeans on yesterday. I love these jeans .. diesel and I only paid Β£8 for them new at tkmaxx πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ .. Oh my God i was in agony all of yesterday. I've now to explain to half my wardrobe that I won't be wearing you for the immediate future πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ .. I'm seriously considering buying maternity clothes cuz my waste size changes everyday, throughout the day! It's no joke this!

  • Aw no that's not good, I find leggings is the best bet, especially after food. I find half the time I need to undo the button. I honestly look pregnant half the time 😭

  • Yes I do too .. I don't only look it, I feel it sometimes .. I had morning, afternoon and evening sickness for around 4 weeks non stop! I thought I was dying πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ .. The Apple juice definitely helped with that! Thank God. But yep, it's leggings for me too from now on until it's properly sorted! Let's hope they can sort us! I've everything crossed for us both!

  • Jan update .. Just got back from colorectal surgeon, who did a preliminary exam. Anal scope was clear and stool appeared fine, not hard and not causing constipation, like I told the drs from the beginning. My colon is swollen on palpitation and he can't believe I've not had a colonoscopy all ready. There's a waiting list, so got to wait 3-4 weeks for one. But it's looking like endo isnt/wasn't my main and it only problem. As we're similar in symptoms, maybe it's a route for you to look into!?

  • Aw bless you! Good luck and I'm glad it's getting looked into. I will book a doctors appointment see if they can refer me to check everything is normal. Thank you so much for your help and I hope everything gets sorted out for you 😊

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