fed up and need to vent

Hi Everyone,

I've not been on here for a while but needing to vent a little bit, I'm so fed up at the moment.

Diagnosed with Endo a year ago, after my second laparoscopy. Also have severe adhesions on my left ovary after a cyst removal 6 years ago, I was also told my left ovary was very small and pale compared to my right one.

Since my last op, the pain has gradually worsened, the last period I had was the most painful I've ever had, I got sent home from work on two days in a row, I was so swollen I couldn't even fasten my work uniform trousers which are normally too big for me, I was struggling to walk. The ony think getting me through was knowing I had a laparoscopy booked for 31st Jan. I would hopefully get some answers, some treatment and just a rest and some time off work!

I have had some awful treatment over the last year from doctors, being asked 'why are you bothered if you're not trying for a baby?' And 'if you're so worried about your fertility, why don't you just have one?', this was shortly after a 6 year relationship had ended which was obviously devastating in itself.

I've been constantly made to feel I'm making the pain up, or I wanted to be ill, my consultant trying to dismiss it as IBS, all the usual rubbish (even after I've been told I had endometriosis!).

Also, I have been having ruptured ovarian cysts every month or two for the last 6/7 months and although I am told my right ovary is fine, I often have severe stabbing pain in that area, which is a concern for my fertility as I have no children and really do want them. I have been refused any kind of fertility testing because I am single and not trying for a baby, (the conversation that led to the 'why are you even bothered' incident).

Well yesterday I went in for my third laparoscopy at 12pm. After being told I was first on the list, meeting the anesthetist and surgeons, and getting changed into my hospital gown, I was informed I'd been moved to the back of the list. After 6 hours at the hospital, nothing to eat all day and no water for almost 7 hours, I was told they had run out of theatre time, I will be contacted for another appointment within 28 days!

I have delayed starting a new, higher paid job so I can have this surgery, which I could lose if it is delayed further, my mum had taken annual leave and driven an hour and half so she could take me and pick me up from the hospital. A friend has taken a day off work today to care for me, I work within NHS frontline staff and have been taken off rota for 3-4 weeks to have the surgery, and I am living in chronic pain and just need a break and a rest!

I am so angry and upset, I can't stop crying and just don't know what to do with myself, I just feel like I'm at the end of my tether and can't cope any more, I'm 29 and have suffered with this since I was 20 years old. Although people have been sympathetic and angry on my behalf I feel like no one understands and will think I'm just over reacting.

I'm so fed up. I'm sorry for the rant and long post, I would just like to speak to some others who understand what I'm going through.

Thanks,

Kat x

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5 Replies

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  • Hi Kat,

    You rant on hun. I feel your pain. I get so frustrated with doctors who don't understand and try to fob it off as something else. Have the hospital got you on the drop out list, if someone drops out for surgery ask to be put on that waiting list. You might not have to wait 28 days, its worth a try. I found that if I kept phoning them saying your in pain seemed to work for me.

    Take care hun, hope it gets sorted soon

    Lisa xx

  • Hi Lisa,

    I'm not sure, I've not heard of the drop out list. I'm meant to be getting a phone call from them today so will ask about it, but if I don't hear anything shortly I will be ringing them anyway. I coughed earlier and felt like I'd been stabbed in my left ovary, ridiculous the things we have to put up with!

    Thanks for your reply. I swear if these male doctors had to put up with the endo symptoms there would have been a cure years ago! Xx

  • Its worth asking. LOL...yeah your so right. I would love men to go through just a little bit if the pain use women do in life we go through...they wouldnt cope!!! xx

  • They definitely wouldn't! I've been rebooked for 14th and asked to be put in drop out list too. They originally said 28th but after some cross words managed to fit me in sooner! Xx

  • Oh that's great news. Hopefully you wont be in too much pain before then. xx

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