Am I being too sensitive about struggling... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Am I being too sensitive about struggling to conceive with endo

jadey18 profile image

I have had endo in my pelvis which was realised when I was 20. I had a lap and have had prostap. Me and my partner have been trying for 2 years to have a baby I am about to start Clomid in September. One of my best friends became pregnant last year she told me and our other friend when we went to her house for a girls evening. I was going through quite a difficult time and having investigations and she did four pregnancy tests while I was there and kept showing us and her and my other friend said she was trying too and they kept going on about how it would be wonderful if they were pregnant together and all the things they could do. I got a bit teary and had my fiancée pick me up. They barely spoke to me for months haven't invited me to see my friends baby she's now 4 months said they don't forgive me. Now my other friend is pregnant and has finally messaged me saying she's 5 months pregnant and we should all meet up. I don't know what to do I'm happy for them but I am finding it difficult

10 Replies

I can kind of relate. My endo journey started around the same time my best friend told me she was pregnant. I had come off the pill a few weeks earlier as myself and my husband wanted to start trying for a baby. I was happy for her but devastated at the same time, as at the time I didn't know what was happening with my body. I had a lap two months ago and we are back trying now but during the past few weeks a few more friends have announced their pregnancies. It's so hard dealing with it, as all I want in the world is to be a mum.

I would say that if you don't feel strong enough to meet up with them, then don't and don't feel bad about it. Or if you do meet up with them, explain to them how your feeling and that it is a struggle seeing them pregnant and with a new born. If they were true friends they would understand and support you during this difficult time.

Sorry I can't be much help, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling like this xx

jadey18 profile image
jadey18 in reply to Pinklady123

Thank you for saying that I just feel rubbish about it we are all 30 now and it hurts that you are the only one who can't get pregnant xx

Pinklady123 profile image
Pinklady123 in reply to jadey18

You are bound to feel like that Hun, I would maybe try and talk to your friends when you feel ready, it may help you and they will understand what you are going through.

I'm 34 now and so worried that time is not on my side. Unfortunately its is just one of those things we have no control over, I'm so impatient though, I hate waiting! Good luck to you xx

jadey18 profile image
jadey18 in reply to Pinklady123

I did try and explain to them when they ignored me for months they finally told me they were annoyed with me for going home that night and I tried to explain. Since then I have barely heard from them until now. Oh Hun you still have time and I hope you manage to get pregnant soon xx

Pinklady123 profile image
Pinklady123 in reply to jadey18

Thanks Hun. You too. Stay strong xx


Ive got to 42 with no kids.

I can relate to how it feels when everyone around you is having children and now watching them all grow up.

You feel at times that a piece of your heart is missing and its like watching a sports game,where you are always on the side lines.

There is an art to hiding those feelings and taking on the role of aunty so to speak.

Learn as much as you can about babies and arm yourself with information and suggestions for your friends.

The same as your learning on this site about endo.

After many years of doing this,i find i know more about babies than most new mums and eventually outsiders when you talk to them,will respect you more for your opinions and will seek your opinion.

This is a give and take situation.

You will fall pregnant your time is coming,dont doubt that.

Meanwhile dont stop interacting with your friends and their babies.

Think of it as research for when your time comes.

Enjoy this time with them,as these memories cannot be replaced if you are not there with your friends to be a part of it.

Give them a call.

Kind regards


jadey18 profile image
jadey18 in reply to

Thank you rose I haven't actually stopped interacting with them I do text and call them but I rarely get a response and now the second one is pregnant (5 and a half months( now they seem to want to meet up. X

in reply to jadey18


Its not that they havent responded to you,its just they are unsure how to interact with you,now their lives have changed and quite possibly they are just overwhelmed with the new baby and its not just you they dont get back to.

I find my friends with kids are the hardest to get a hold of and take ages sometimes weeks, to ring me back.

Dont take it to heart,life is too short.

It doesnt matter who rings first or how many times.

Accept the invite.

At least you can say you gave it a go.

Kind regards

Rose xx

I did read the bit about them being annoyed with you,but that is an excuse on their part,because they are unsure of how to deal with your reaction.

Trust me on that one.

If you give this a go and they dont get it this time,i wldnt subject yourself to it again,no.


I'm in exactly the same boat. I was with an amazing guy when everyone was getting engaged. I don't know why my relationship ended and it devastating me. And then the babies and second babies have arrived. I took myself away from the group meets with husbands, baby showers and even a couple of hen do and a wedding. You learn who your friends are. I am no longer friends with a couple of friends and one I am sad about. But I spoke and met with the ones that matter to me. We eventually had tears and honesty and no blame. We both apologised and set ground rules kinda. So they now know that I would like to be invited to group things but I wont decide until the day depending on how I feel. I also meet individually with them and their babies. The most I do as a group is three friends. Also ironically their woes during pregnancy actually made them realise a little what I'm going through. I'm pretty open about things but realised I wasn't as much cos they saw me so active but didn't realise the pain. And funny enough one of them opened up about not being able to ovalate without injections to get pregnant.

Take it at your own pace. Today as we get older commitments grow. Friends change. Life changes.

I know I don't see these friends at wkends now so I see other friends or I work with kids with disabilities or look after me or main job work. Or family time. Usually sleep!

But your also find friends who are going through the same. So a newish friend and her husband have had to use a sperm donar and ivf. We met through work.

No one is to blame. But people don't understand unless they're going through similar woes. Bet one of them was putting on a front to say they were trying to get preggers too.

And it's ok to leave early. It's ok to cry after. And to be angry. Done that a fair few times.

And it's ok to say sorry your busy or suggest just seeing them one at a time.

Hope this helps.

Jen x

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