Pain free?

OK so I am not actually pain free,but I am close to it as I have been in ages. Today I haven't even had painkillers.

I have had a totally rotten few weeks with brutal chest pain, suspected pulmonary embolism but God forbid anything that causes me pain shows up on a scan. 

After all this though now I feel the least amount of pain from my endo that I have since probably December. This is almost cause for celebration. Almost.

Due to preexisting mental health issues, this whole situation has been so extremely difficult and I cannot enjoy a pain free stretch without waiting anxiously for the next flare. I cannot enjoy it because I am so exhausted from the last one and I am so busy managing my relapse of depression and desperately trying to make my managers realise I am a good worker even with the sick days. 

I know it will get better and I will be able to enjoy pain free days, maybe even have more of them but this does feel like a big hill I'm climbing. 

So today I am not in pain physically but mentally. Endo is cruel. So is depression.

Hope you enjoy your pain free days and get the support for the painful ones. Sorry for the sad post. Knowing you all understand helps so much.


4 Replies

  • hanfoxy the most powerful phrase I came across which helps when I have suffered with depression is 'this too shall pass' (shame the same can't be said for Endo)!! Say it out loud, say it a lot, it is true.  Don't fight the depression, let it be, and let it wash over you xxx

  • That is my favourite phrase when I feel like this. That and "I've done this before and I can do it again".

    Thank you so much for your reply xxx

  • That's another good one! You can and you will. Treat yourself, be kind to yourself x

  • Big hugs to you. This community is so awesome and the support has helped me so much. I am happy for you that you have had a pain free day but I can understand the inability to fully enjoy it without dreading the next flare up. I can't speak about depression, I am lucky enough not to have experienced that, but don't feel you need to apologise for the sad post. This is the place to unload your sad thoughts, amongst people who understand you .

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