Dealing with the fear of endo

I feel so frustrated because not only has endo robbed me of my physical well-being, it is affecting me so much mentally too. I have only around 1 good week a month. But I do have a few good hours here and there. The problem is that I am always so worried about the pain coming back, which it inevitably does. I cannot enjoy the few good hours I get because I am analysing every twinge that I have, becoming hypersensitive to every minor cramping sensation, expecting the pain to start any minute and I just keep waiting for the pain to arrive. Then I take painkillers and suffer through a few killing hours, and when the pain subsides somewhat, I start worrying again about the pain returning and the timing of my next painkiller. I feel like I am driving myself insane....yet I cannot get over this fear of pain. I don't go out anywhere even when I am feeling relatively ok because of it, I don't have a social life, I don't have a life..period. Does anybody have any strategies to deal with this fear?

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LouLou2014

in reply to Poorni1234

3 years ago

Poorni - I'm in the same situation as you. I'm also drenched with guilt - my incredibly supportive and loving partner is a god-send - but I do wish we could just be a normal couple in the first year of being in love!

I am listed for surgery - but have no date yet - I have just quit my job because of the pain. I need to adjust my life to fit around the symptoms and it's all feeling terribly unfair!

that said- I have an amazing surgeon - the delay in getting the surgery is because she's so good and in such demand - and I'm in central london. She has enrolled me in a pain management study that involves meditating for 10 minutes everyday. When i can nail myself down to do this is helps immeasurably! I would look at what you can find in terms of free meditations on you tube and via apps on your phone. Headspace is a great teaching app and has been a great help to me.

Yoga - if you can move at all is also very helpful. Look up yoga for endometriosis on you tube too - 10/15 mins in a quiet place with some basic positioning of your body puts you back in touch with it - instead of fighting it you become a collaborator in getting it better!

Best of luck! Lou.

Poorni1234

in reply to LouLou2014

Thank you so much. I totally hear you about the guilt. I was made redundant from my job because I was taking too many days off. I freelance when I can but I feel so guilty because I am neither contributing much financially nor physically to the household. My husband has a decent job but I hate feeling so useless. On top of it, I am in India where there is absolutely no support from the government either in terms of healthcare or benefits.

Thank you for the suggestions, they are very helpful. I did look into relaxation techniques as suggested by aimez and I downloaded an iphone app for it. I will also look into free meditation apps, I am downloading headspace as I type this. I have considered yoga but I am so scared that all the twisting and bending will make the pain worse I somehow need to get over this fear.

I hope surgery works for you and you are able to get back to a normal life. Not having a date can be frustrating but please do take solace in the fact that you have a good healthcare system and there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the very best to you too....

Hidden

I have anxiety and fear issues because of trauma, I also get panic attacks everyonce in a while.

My school counsellor is new age, she introduced me to crystals and meditation and I find that a lot of crystals help me to stay calm. I wear some as jewlery and if I'm stressed I'll roll one in my hands or play with the necklace. A crystal for pain, and stress which the Vikings used for teething is amber, I find it helps if I put it on my abdomen or forehead, if your intrested I can give you a list of the different crystals I have.

Meditation helps too, I find when I'm in a lot of pain all I have to do is close my eyes and listen to a guided meditation, it keeps me calm and takes my mind off the pain, the trick is to make your mind go completely blank (you'll have weird thoughts the first time).

I also play guitar and sing to help with stress, if your intrested in playing an instrument and don't want to spend that much look at a music store for used insturnments or classifieds.

I also make essential oil slaves, lotions, and creams for pain relief, headaces, stress, allergies, and colds, here's a recipe that I love:

1 coffee filter

Staples

Chamomile tea

Chilli powder

Pepper

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Dried lavender

10 drops of each: Peppermint, lavender, eucalyptus essential oil

2 oils such as coconut and olive oil

1. In the coffee filter place a tbs of cinnamon, a sprinkle of pepper, a sprinkle of chilli powder, and a tsp of nutmeg, open the chamomile tea bag and drop all contents in the filter. Fold the filter and staple.

2.In a small saucepan pour in 1 1/2 cups of oil and bring to a light boil, once boiled put in the coffee filter sand turn to meduim low heat and wait 30 minutes.

3. Once the 30 minutes are up apply pressure to the filter and stir it around then take it out.

4. Add dried lavender and 1-2 tbs of beeswax, wait for the beeswax to melt and stir

5. Once melted take off heat and let it cool down to the point where it starts to develop a slight residue on top (like jello) and stir in the essential oils.

6. Pour or scoop into containers.

Best wishes xx