Hi guys, i'm back again.

So as i thought.. well i actually thought i was starting to find my feet again. But no, not this time. I'm constantly up and down. And I genuinely think i have some sort of anger issue. Everything i think.. i feel i have to say? and if i don't say it then it builds up inside of me and i cannot rest up it's out in the open. Sometimes i think of the worst... i think of things i never thought i could think of.. but i'm starting to think about 'what if the world was better without me' and 'if i wasn't here would anyone miss me?' i'm suppose to be going to magaluff with my friends in the summer and as usual i've caused arguments due to my lack of thought and ability to how to say things as nicely as possible. I get very angry easily. and i will tend to put my out of in the open on my twitter account this has lead to me deleting it. I feel unease at times and i'm not happy with how i am?.. but like i said in my last post, why am i feeling this low? especially at such young age and the only thing i can turn to it you people on here. Any advice?

4 Replies

  • Hi Annakate, have you spoken to your GP about this at all?

    You're obviously becoming more self aware and that's a positive thing. You've deleted your Twitter account, that's good, if it was having a negative impact on other people and in turn on you then its a good idea to be rid.

    This might sound twee but have you looked up any breathing exercises online? Ive emailed one to my work email account and play them through headphones when things get too much, well that and walking it off, or locking myself in the loos for a bit just to be on my own for 5 mins (god forbid).

    Trust me, the world is not a better place without you, your friends care about you more than you think. You're all going on holiday together! Regardless of the friction the organisation may have caused that's fabulous that you have a set of people that want to spend time with you like that.

    If there is anything you can do to improve your patience without causing a build up of stress or anger then give it a shot, at least you're trying and that's all anyone can ask. You're best has to be good enough.

    Regardless of arguments and fallings out you may be having remember they are your friends and they love you. Its so important to have a good network of people around you so try dont to push them away, they care about you and that's an amazing thing to hold on to.

    Are you closer to any of them than the others? Perhaps you could discuss how you feeling with them.

    Things will get better, they have to, life changes and you never know whats around the corner. Hold on in there hun and if you are really feeling like you need some help please call the Samaritans, they will provide incredible support. All the best x

  • Thank you for your nice thoughts sasays.

    Although I have wanted to turn to my friends, I cannot. They all think I am duluded. With the way I am. And with how quickly I change. One minute I'm nice then the next I'm a bitch. I've tried to change the person I am. But it's challenging,tiring and I just gave up.

    I am full of so many different emotions that I don't even know who I am. I use to be such an outgoing freewill girl, how can someone change from that to this? X

  • Please don't ever think you need to change the person you are. You as you is the best person you can be. If you want to make changes to your life, they way you think, or the things you do then thats ok too, just dont try and put too much pressure on yourself, you'll be bound to fail if you reach for the impossible.

    I agree with PG, an outlet for your frustration sounds perfect, you could even do bodypump or something alike, its alike aerobics but with pads, not as scary or intense as fighting, i dont really like anything violent myself, even if its for fitness and no one gets harmed, but its supposed to be fab. Plenty of options, perhaps check out your local leisure centre and see whats on, you could always take one of them with you ad see how it goes, you wont even have to talk much. Or on the other end of the spectrum you could try yoga or medication? Hot yoga is amazing (although often expensive). Or if you're a little tight for cash try jogging and see how that goes for you, getting out in the fresh air can do wonders... although perhaps wait until the frost has gone.

    Do you think you could take some time out to travel at all? That might be a good idea if you think its something you might be interested in x

  • Hi Annakate, you sound like an open person to me. Talk to your GP and maybe he could refer you to a Positive Psychology type Group. Could you do some excercise like a Zumba class or Swimming to get rid of that anger that builds up. You are self aware especially about Twitter, its probably not the best thing for you right now. Of course your friends love you, or they would not ask you to holiday with them. There is nothing wrong with you except Depression, and in one way its good to know how to deal with it early on in life.

    I dont want to sound like your Mum, but please go to your GP, and tell him or her what you feel, it will help. A big hug to you, and remember your not alone.

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