Today I woke up with the feeling it was going to be a no day. Medication is slowly getting to me and I feel very zoned out.
Might sound like a stereotype, but living in London for 10 years and suffering from depression I have learned to appreciate cloudy days.
When I saw that the sun was shinning, I immediately closed the blinds and decided to stay in.
I also was informed by my work's HR department that my sick pay was going to be reduced to half which did not help. I have now been off work because my depression was triggered by an assault just outside my work office which is making it really hard for me to go back.
That's when I looked at my guitar.
I had not picked it up for more than 6 months.
I felt like a kid in a theme park.
I can easily say that I had not felt like this in more than 2 years. Everything felt right for the time I was playing.
Best friends sometimes don't talk, don't move, they just sit there waiting for you to acknowledge them.
Is there anything that makes you feel like this? Just for a few hours?
I hope everyone had a good day.
X
Written by
Celino
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Hello Satsuma and Celino, I belong to a Rock Choir, I can't sing for toffee but there are so many other people around it doesn't matter. I am sorry you were assaulted Celino, when did it happen?
I think we should start to organise a HealthUnlocked music group
I was robbed with violence involved when I was on my break, outside my office in Queens Road Peckham - London.
Since my teenager years that I suffer with anxiety and depression, but always manage to control it myself. At times I was auto medicating with alcohol and drugs. I left that and with this episode I just decided to get some help.
Hopefully on the road to feel better. I somehow know I will always be depressed and anxious, but if I can feel a bit better about it, that's already a good thing.
I ask because I was also assaulted. It happened 5 years ago and I have now been diagnosed with Complex PTSD. The local NHS health service runs a traumatic therapy service that does CBT and EMDR. I have been offered it but I am concerned about what happens if it doesn't work, I don't really want to retraumatise myself for no good reason.
Do you also live in London Fi? Yes, I have been off work due to PTS, but it triggered other issues that were just "on standby", as I was feeling better with my new partner a new job. I have been referred to CBT and I'm looking forward to give it a go. How do you feel these days with regards to PST? X
I live in the cold north west of England, in Lancashire. I was assaulted after visiting a parishioner (I was a priest), in the evening in November, I was hit around the head with half a brick, so I never saw my attacker, just came to on the floor. At first I thought I had tripped and fallen, but I couldn't understand why the back of my head hurt. They took my mobile phone and home communion set.
Needless to say I suffer from hyper vigilance, panic attacks, fear of going out especially in winter in the evening, it has got so bad that I have wet myself with fear.
Slowly I have challenged myself to face down my fears, but it takes so little to trigger them, a smell, a noise, I hate the sound of footsteps behind me, single men or groups of men frighten me, even when I am with my husband who is 6ft plus and built like a rugby player!
I suppose I am worried about re experiencing it, in detail without knowing that the treatment is successful.
Oh no. my attackers were wearing hoodies and bandanas so I could only see their eyes. It is very hard to try to trust the environment around me. I only go out accompanied by my other half and very rarely after dark. I know (I hope) I will get back to be able to be strong to rebuild that trust as again. Last year I was also involved in a road traffic collision a accident. It was a hit and run and that road was not covered by CCTV. My trust in people is very low at the moment, but one day hopefully that will change. I'm sending you a big strong hug
Why thank you Celino, and one right back to you. Sorry you had yet another nasty incident. I do understand how you feel about trusting people. Do you ever go out, then look around at all the people and think, this is why I don't go out! But small steps, I do get really annoyed that it still affects me. However we have people who love us, and cats whom we serve, so life goes on. X
Hello Celino, music in general and playing guitar are good friends when depressed but keep up as much social contact as you can as well. i seem to recall you saying you were from Portugal so maybe you've had anough sun, but I think there is some faint evidence sunshine helps so make the most of it here.
One day as soon as you can I should take a trip to your work place and gradually get nearer and nearer to the place where you were attacked until you can walk by it again and again without feeling uncomfortable. If you can get back to your work it will be a big help. Easy for me to say I'm retired but although work can be a stress you can't go through life without stress and at least work avoids worthless feelings, occupies the mind, passes the time more quickly , gives extra social contacts, and last but not least avoids the stress of being short of money.
Olderal, we have just spoke a couple of times but your words are like a comfort blanket. Thanks for your advice and it sometimes I'm am working on. Yesterday I made a big progress and I've passed by on a bus. Baby steps, but I know that I will get there. I don't want to completely rely on medication and CBT, but I know that when I start the second one, I will be able to get a lot out of my chest and I will be able to move forward.
Celino..u defo got depression. Now meny of us .get it in life.could b work. Of family stuff.or worrying.i no how u fill.but it's toke me years to get better.now I am.i don't no way to do wiv my self.mates well u said same .but please try .coz wen u do fill ok.u have start again.now I play the piano.i put it on my Bluetooth done my boss full on.and I play.iv only just started and God I'm good.i do it everyday. It makes u 4get yr worry.u say u play gitier. U play it.i no it's easy 4 me say try.but if I can do it .so can u.good luck
It's a bit of a long story, but I was on a pretty rough housing estate when it happened. As I said, I was hit from behind and never saw my attacker. The thief got away with my phone and home communion set. Four days later, the head of the family that unofficially runs the estate came and visited me and returned the home communion set. He had quickly heard about what had happened, knew who it was that did these things and went and paid them a visit. I got my communion set back, but I then felt very guilty and concerned about the mugger, as he got a beating and told he had 24hours to move or his flat would be fire bombed!! He moved. The head of the family said, nobody touches our vicar, you are the only one who has the b@££s to come and vist us, and me mum at night, even the police come in a van mob handed. So justice was served but it left me feeling uncomfortable. If the man who did it had asked I would have given him some money! he didn't have to hit me round the head!
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I love singing too, so sang my hear out too. Hope you had good day 
my attackers were wearing hoodies and bandanas so I could only see their eyes. It is very hard to try to trust the environment around me. I only go out accompanied by my other half and very rarely after dark. I know (I hope) I will get back to be able to be strong to rebuild that trust as again. Last year I was also involved in a road traffic collision a accident. It was a hit and run and that road was not covered by CCTV. My trust in people is very low at the moment, but one day hopefully that will change. I'm sending you a big strong hug 
Help and advice please 
Help I lost a good friend and i want her back but should i contact her and will she respond?
Please help, I'm new to this site as of this evening. Thank you.
I'm new here , seeking help... TRIGGER WARNING
