My father hit me last night!

I'm 25 and all my life my dad has been a dead beat loser and after all these years I've finally confronted him about it and I told him he is a terrible father and he is lousy and he slapped me to the floor. I'm tired of getting physically, mentally and emotionally abused by men who I love. I just got out of a horrible 3 year relationship with my ex a few months ago and here goes my own father telling me I should kill myself and that he doesn't care and throwing the fact that he slapped me in my face. I deal with depression, anxiety, and self-harm. I thought fathers were suppose to protect, love and care for their children. I want to cut him off completely but I also want to forgive myself and be free from the fact that he is my dad and I must be close to him when if fact I want nothing to do with him. He is a sociopath that doesn't respect women he has serious anger issues. How do I deal with this? Someone please help me? This is hurting me mentally. And I'm fighting depression because of what happened last night. He bruised my eye and face, plus my body is sore from trying to fight him. I can't believe I let a man hurt me again I feel weak that I couldn't do anything because he is 6/3 and I'm 5'4.

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18 Replies

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  • Domestic violence is a crime in this country - phone the Police, let them record your injuries and prosecute your father. Nobody deserves to be abused.

    Sue

  • Thank you, but I live in a different country. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there.

  • Hello

    We choose our friends, although not our Parents.

    Like you I suffered abuse from family and it took me until quite recently to disappear from the whole sorry world they inhabited.

    I understand I feel I remember you being on site before quite a while ago, welcome back.

    Your Father is breaking the law and you would be in your rights to get him arrested under criminal law, I would suggest you do that now, although I do not know if you are still at home, or your employment situation.

    With me I disappeared, my situation started at about seven year old and continued through to my retirement, you see once started it will never stop, the situation may change, although the intent will not. They will have no respect for you and the violence will become much easier.

    Under those points get out, call the Police and disappear. You will feel much better and the freedom you will light your Life

    Good Luck

    BOB

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support.

  • I know exactly where you are coming from. This happened to me many years ago, I took the abuse for far too long and I have the scars too prove it. My friend took photos of my injuries and came with me to the police. The police were fantastic. They talked me through everything step by step and within two hours he was arrested, I thought I would feel guilty of reporting him, but you know what it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

    I went to court 2weeks later and he was sentenced to 5yrs in prisons. That bit tore me apart but I went to councilling (can't spell gone brain dead) and I was ok with it all. My father wrote to me and apologised for everything, and I forgave him but told him I would never forget and I never wanted to see him again.

    You need to pick up the courage and finally do something for you! There is support out there so please don't think it won't happen again because you know deep down it will, so do something before you can't find yourself.

    All my thoughts are with you

    Vikki xx

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically.

  • I'm sorry you are in this situation sweetie.

    To be blunt, I dont think your father will change anytime soon. Your safety is paramount. Especially as he is abusive. Get outof there if you can. You have to heal the mental wounds before you can even contemplate forgiving him.

    In UK this is illegal. You can phone the police and chose to give him even just a warning. That might deter him. Or go all the way and get him arrested. They normally will talk you through in detail. Please be kind to yourself.

    All the best.

    Blessings.

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here. I just moved here from my moms. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I live in another country over here they don't take domestic violence to seriously.

  • You can call the police now for advice on 101. A file will be open. Unfortunately people like these can claim you're the one who hit then. This way there will be a record supporting your claim. Take pictures of the wounds as well and go see A& E or your GP for pain management. They too will keep a record. You need to build a case. I was there and was a health professional detecting such cases, child abuse, etc. Please heed this advice. If you don't need it, excellent. If you do you'll be prepared.

    All the best, sweetie.

    Blessings.

  • I think that an abusive person, regardless of their relationship to you, is someone that is better off at a good distance to say the least. The main thing here is that you obviously need support and sorry to coin a cliche but if it were me I'd seek counselling to help me build my defences and gain empowerment. I find that abuse begets abuse - in other words if we have abusive parents we tend to get into abusive relationships and while you're still young, if this is true for you, with therapeutic support you can challenge the pattern. You deserve happiness. Best of luck.

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I live in another country over here they don't take domestic violence to seriously.

  • Your father being abusive towards you is probably the reason you get into abusive relationships...we are drawn to what we know.

    I want to say to tell him if he ever hits you again you will report it to the police ...but could you do that because there is no point saying it if you wouldnt follow through and involving the police could affect the family so you need to think about that one

    What i will say is you need to stay away from him...A father is not meant to hit his child no matter what they have done it is not ok not in any way and if he isnt acting like a father how can you treat him like one. You wouldnt let someone else abuse you so dont let him ..He has let you down in the worse way long before he hit you..the word forgive means " to let go"...forgiving him does not mean that its ok what he did and it does not mean you carry on as normal, it means your letting it go because it would eat you up so yes forgive him but dont let him abuse you

    I would also suggest you need counselling to talk about this and the other things you have been going through ..you do not need to drag this around with you for ever ..

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I live in another country over here they don't take domestic violence to seriously.

  • Get out of there! Head to the police and don't think about it - make a mental note that you will not move from the station until you get help and somewhere to stay. If you have animals or family take them with you.......

    Let me know how you get on but do NOT stay there!

    No-one can love you in this way..........he needs help too and this will get him the help he needs as well as giving you space and support.

    Luv Heather xx

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I live in another country over here they don't take domestic violence to seriously. I'm seeing a shrink now.

  • You should go to the police - he needs help too........Dont keep putting off what will wear you down. Your doctors will support you. But you MUST get out of there. Take care.

    Hugs from me to you - I care.

    Hx

  • Whatever you decide to do about abuse, be prepared to follow up any aggression with appropriate action or you will only make yourself more of a victim and this can encourage an escalation of violence. You are teaching them that you will take more and more aggression and not do anything about it.

    Basically I am saying that sometimes it is better to walk away from this type of person, if you feel you cannot manage to be around them without hurting yourself.

  • Thank you. I didn't go to the police, but I threaten him if he ever do it again (which I doubt, because I won't allow it to happen next time because I will seriously hurt him if he even attempts to hit me again) I will call the police file an assault report and restraining order on his ass. At this point I'm fed up with him and I want nothing to do with him. The best thing he can do for me is stay away from me. It happened so fast I called my mom and step-dad to get me out of there. I live with my grandmother and he also lives here and I don't have a job. I just moved here from my moms I'm really going through alot right now and I trust no man. I moved by her for better comfort, but now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. I cannot keep going through this I'm too old for this. I'm staying at my moms until things cool over, but I have nothing to say to him or no care for him at this point. I wish I had a boyfriend who I can stay with or somebody, but I don't. Nobody cares about me except my parents (mom and stepdad) I have two male friends who have been there for support. I'm not afraid of him, but I hate being around him. He slapped me before at age 15 and now at age 25 he STILL feels he can put his hands on me he doesn't respect me or love me. I'm tired having to put up with these shitty men in my life, but not anymore because I removed them for good. He is dead to me. I know he is capable of hurting me again he has been doing it all my life. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I live in another country over here they don't take domestic violence to seriously.

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