Annoyed with my fiance! :( long post - sorry

After having my son 12 weeks ago i decided to go back to fitness classes a few weeks ago. I have been getting on brill and upped from 2 classes to 3 and my driving instructor does a class on a thurs night and has talked me into it. I have been paying for classes individually but found out there is a monthly pass for £28 and i can go to as many classes as i like. I told my fiance about this as it would save a lot of money and he agreed to it. i don't drive so i have to buy a weekly bus ticket for £12 but this saves me money in the long run. I told my fiance that i was gonna get the monthly pass today and he kicked off saying that i'm spending too much money and that i will not be going to 4 classes. Who does he think he is? I am a full time mum on my maternity leave and i love my classes. He comes across as so controlling telling me what i'll be doing when he is free to do what he likes. He has his GA meetings and pool each week and i have no hobbies or outlets to vent at all. I told him that if i get the monthly pass i'll go to as many classes as i like and he said 'well we are over then'. Thats his answer to everything. I am a habitual creature though and i prefer to go to classes in the morning and he says i should go at night when hes in but then i know what will happen. He'll moan about having to sort out the kids after working all day. Its a vicious circle. I was standing at the bus stop ready to go to class but i thought stuff it, i'll save us some money alright and do nothing at all. Stubborn i know but i'm hacked off with him!!

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10 Replies

  • You guys need to remember to talk, so often these things occur due to something lacking in communication. If you support each other without it being a about the finances. he probably feels a little jealous that your doing something good for your life. If you can sit down talk about how you both feel and find away forward. Try not get mad as it only creates resentment which in turn makes the whole thing harder. Go back to remember how you used to communicate before the kids and take a few deep breaths. Maybe you need some quality time together. I don't know you but I feel for your situation. Partners are meant to be supportive of each other but usually there is an underlying problem mainly starting with communication. No-one like being told they CANT do something. Being a full-time Mum is the hardest job. Try talk together saying this is important for you as your enjoying the time at your classes but he is important to you and would rather he was bit more understanding x

  • Do you think some people just aren't cut out for relationships? X

  • Sorry to hear you are going through so much at the moment les. Not having a go but need to remind you that swearing is not allowed on the site so you might want to amend your posts please. x

  • Ooopps, i didnt know. Sorry x

  • tut tut naughty naughty :)

  • Ha ha. I'm not usually a swearer but i'm annoyed!! Aaaarrrggggghhhhh x

  • Your allowed to be annoyed but it is going to hurt you more than him. I would not let anyone talk to me that way so i understand why your annoyed. i lived a long time with someone who spoke to me that was - now I don't thankfully, If you can be the better person and try not get annoyed about it - not easy - your also hurting yourself by being stubborn. It will only escalate the situation. Be yourself and dont let anyone try change you. x

  • Hi there I think writing thus post may have answered your own question.

    Your partner sounds very controlling. , it's up to you but. I would not put up with that

    Nonsense from him. He should be glad you are doing something for you.

    Les I have read a good few of your posts and my feeling is that you are not that happy

    With your relationship. Why put up with it a minute longer. If you were my daughter I

    Would lay it on the line to him, try counselling for couples, but really his attitude

    Sounds controlling and childish. If you give in to his ways for peace sake , where

    Will it end?

    I have said enough and maybe too much, but my feeling is that it's not about money,

    Or excercise classes, but it's about the apparent inequality in your relationship .

    Be strong and get help for you and your children please, and I am sure you would

    Not be half as Depressed.



  • Thank you hun. I said that to him that he appears to be controlling but he said i can do what i like - clearly not. We always argue over money, its a nightmare x

  • Could he not have issues of his own? I only ask this because when I first got with my partner I too was quite controlling, I didn't trust him (not saying your partner doesn't trust you of course), and was very insecure. Thankfully it was established I had depression and insecurity issues and now we are managing, but just something to think about.

    I am not saying his behaviour is acceptable - it most certainly isn't, unless you are struggling for money it is not upto him what you choose to spend your money on, but there may be reasons why he is acting this way.

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