Reading the posts on here about breakdowns made me think

I think I am suffering a permanent one. Either that or I have entered my dotage (I am 60 now). I am not activiely unhappy most of the time but am content not working and just leading my little life within my little world. Anything stressful sends me into a tizzy. Too many things happening at once (even good things) leave me in a state of such tizzy I become virtually immobile. I then sleep for England coz my head is buzzing too much to think. Change is anaethma to me I just want everything to stay the same but then I get bored. Strange. I haven't worked for a few years now since I lost my last job and the thought of it and the stress is unbearable. Sometimes I think the world is leaving me behind and it's too busy now and I go slow.


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22 Replies

  • I kinda understand but your not doting. Lol.

    It's funny I get stressed if too much is happening good or bad and just freeze.

    Hope your ok anyway and being good to you. We have to take care of ourselves.



  • Yeah me too Hannah. Freeze is a better word. Thank you for your reply. Love ya xx

  • Hello

    You are like me I am now sixty three, disabled, with a Reactive Depression. that does wonderful thing with my concentration and memory. Also it seems to envelope me in a fug of thought and a prefer to leave most decisions with the wife. She really does not really push me as She now the medications I am on are strong and knock me sideways.

    Generally speaking I am lucky I do Voluntary work for the NHS and GP Practice and that in a way prevents me from stagnating. Not only that I find being on several web pages seems to keep the brain active and what brain I still have working.

    One of the problems I find if I do not do something even if it is not gardening make me disapear into a comfortable chair watching day time television I now try and keep myself active and my voluntary work seems to keep me on an even keel

    I still become stressed and I prefer not to answer the telephone and now that is left for my wife to do, In the Evening I prepare the dinner then my wife cooks it, so I suppose I am still pushing the envelope that is now pushing back.

    We sadly need to understand we are getting older and with this we slow down and we need to push back some times.

    It is no use letting life envelope you, you envelope life, so we need to force ourselves to take an interest in what is going on around us

    One of my interests in Mental Health and Dementias and in the past and now I have been asked to continue in that track, and find that very interesting in dealing with those of us who have this bloody awful condition

    Good luck to you try and find an interest, and run with it, some people I know play bowls and other sports that is all I can suggest


  • Thanks for your reply Bob. I do have interests its not that. I play darts twice a week and get myself out and about. I have friends and some family but I don't have a wife (or hubby) to do things for me that I can't do. I manage but get into a mess. Have no kids either to pep me up. It's very hard on your own. xx

  • Hello

    Sadly because of been brutalised we have no children and Hazel has family in the Midlands that we may only see once a year. My family now have no dealings with me as they are very unpleasant

    So like you I only have my wife and dog, Pax. If anything happened and either of us lost a partner I would be completely at a loss. It is bad enough if we loose the dog. As we get older our lives become more tentative and things can change so quickly.

    Sadly I understand your position I, in the past have seen many partnerships that have been effected by death of one

    All the best, keep a hold


  • I can't cope with any stress and I have just had to recognise this. I am coming to the conclusion my back/neck problems are spondylitis and I think the pain drains me. Have found that reducing meds has made me feel "less weird" but I have to keep a very calm and very simple lifestyle. Am completely thrown by crowded shops, lots of paperwork and stuff like that. I have to exercise everyday yoga, pilates swimming just to keep the pain levels reasonable and keep myself moving. I need 9 hours sleep at least despite people saying we can manage on 6 or 7; it affects my mood more than anything. I know I am extremely "anxious" all the time, running through my thoughts all the time as I try to sleep and waking up several times; but if I can control sleeping, pain etc it is a good start as well as having things to keep me "occupied enough" without feeling overwhelmed. That in my case means not doing anything too stressful like even attempting to get up at 7.00am for work; i'd be finished in one day; i would be crippled by the evening. People have suggested I am making this up or exaggerating (not on here but medical people) but I know myself and know that my pain escalates through sitting and so on . I can do things in "short bursts" so 2 hour work placements are ok for me a couple of times a week but that is all. If I go beyond this I end up going backwards. We are all different, we need to accept and honour the way we are now rather than how we "should be" (Or that's what I'm telling myself!!) I'm soon to be 56. X

  • Thank you Gemma. That is what I am talking about. I have to lead a simple lifystyle too but still find it hard to cope. I have lung problems as well as depression which limits what I can do. None of my family understand about either so I don't tend to talk about them. Only on here. I have no ambition left (not that I had much to start with). There is so much I still want to do but lack the energy and motivation now.

    I am very sorry you do not get the understanding and acceptance you need from those around you. It's a hard old life somethimes isn't it? xx

  • Hello Gemma

    Agree whole way, generally some days I am away with the Teddy Bears lol


  • I am 66 and can relate to all of your comments, I have arthritis pain and am going to see a specialist about a discomfort in my left side soon, I have good days and know tomorrow may be totally different, my sleep is terrible with several wakeups feeling my heartbeat in my head and feeling a sense of doom. I do not bother my family because they work and have their own lives and they do not understand what being me feels like. I try to keep busy so my mind is kept occupied, but each day is a challenge.

  • We meet delithnmck1. I am fortunate not to have anything like arthritis but my sister does so I do understand what you are saying. I really hope you manage to get something sorted out with your specialist. Look after yourself. xx

  • Thankyou for your reply, I know I have some kindred spirits now! xx

  • You certainly do :) x

  • I am 56 I have lupus copd fibro anxiety and spondylitis. I was just about coping with life just me hubby and the fog to care for. Then bang my daughter had a baby her partner walked out when the baby was 2 weeks old she is now living with dh an me and we have all the care and worry of a new baby my dd has been very down. Just when we thought things couldn't get worse the baby got very ill last Friday and has been in hospital since. Thank God there is an improvement in him today. I was hanging on by my finger nails before all this happned. there isnt anyone else to support my daughter so for her and the baby I have to keep going. I'm sorry for venting on your post but I am still like you and I'm suffering all the anxiety and pain but there's nothing I can go about it

  • Hello

    Can you not get the vacated dad to help here all seems one sided ??


  • I know but the dad is no good. So nothing I can do. Any mother would do the same

  • So sorry you must feel put upon though your feelings for daughter and child must be pulling you in so many ways

    Good Luck, we are all here for you


  • No probs nanaber. You are in a very stressful situation. Your daughter is very lucky to have your love and support even though I appreciate it is all very difficult for you. You will get through this because you are such a strong positive person. Hold onto this. Am thinking of you and wishing you and your family all the best. Oodles of hugs (((((((((((nanaber))))))))))) xx

  • Thanks for understanding good wishes and hugs to you

  • Many thanks for your replies everyone. It's good to know I am not alone though i wouldn't wish this on anyone. My post seems to have struck a chord with some of you which has to be good. Isn't this site a great place? None of us are alone anymore. xx

  • Thanks Coughalot, it's very interesting to see all the different posts,

    It certainly brought up a lot for me. Stuff about my lowest time, it was awful, I couldn't even write about it. But I will sometime. I love

    Your compassion and never judging attitude, you are always

    Honest and say it as it is. Luv ya.

    Your a tonic on this site.


  • Aw bless you Hannah and thank you. It's nice to be appreciated. :)

    I never judge because I hate other judging me. If you can't be honest there is no point saying anything. I think you are brilliant. Whenever I look at a post you always seem to have got there first with great and insightful advice. I think we are all a great bunch here and we all show compassion and support which is what a good site is all about isn't it? I have learnt so much from all of you and you one of the most. I hope this site never changes - it has been a lifesaver for me and many of us. Love ya too chuck :d


  • Hi, If you are content not working then you are definitely not going through a breakdown!

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